This evening I was getting ready to leave restaurant when a woman gave me a very dirty look because she saw me checking out a woman’s butt. And I definitely was, very blatantly. The thing is, the butt I was checking out belongs to my wife of 19 years. I’m not a bit sorry about it.
You should have told her it was a bum rap.
Should have told her, “Yeah, my wife has a FINE ass.”
I’d smile, wink, and hold up my hand to make a circle with my thumb and index finger.
I would have looked the woman straight in the eyes, while I proceeded to give said bum a squeeze.
Years ago I worked as an usher at large concert venue. Some days I was assigned to monitor the top of an escalator to make sure ppl didn’t trip and fall or whatever while the masses were flooding into/out of the venue before/after shows. It was a very boring job so to pass the time, the only thing you COULD do is check out all the hot chicks going by. One time I was very obviously gawking at this one in particular and the guy behind her got mad.
“Are you looking at my wife’s tits?” He angrily, and a bit drunkenly said up in my face.
“Sir, I’m looking at EVERYone’s tits” I replied.
After a confused moment, his face lit up and he broke up into drunken frat boy style laughter and insisted that I high-fived him.
True story.
Only got a dirty look once, from a bank teller at the ass of whose customer I was looking, long and lingeringly. And overly intensely too I guess. This lady was leaning slightly forward at the counter, wearing a sheer kind of pantsuit that she filled absolutely admirably, with nothing missing and nothing extra. I had sort of got lost in thought, and progressed from, “gee, ain’t that purty” to something more like “wouldn’t you just loove…right up against the counter…”. Eventually I snapped out of it when I saw the expression on the teller’s face. It was like she could read my every thought, and see my dilated pupils. She looked moderately horrified. No big deal. I generally try to keep my eyes in my head.
Next time, offer to stare at HER ass, as well. I mean, fair is fair, after all.
Looking is natural behavior, being obvious about it is vulgar and tasteless. It also makes other people uncomfortable. No one wants to be standing next to Mr. Sleazy or watching someone ogle.
I’m reminded of a picture I saw from the set of Avengers, with Thor and Loki pretty blatantly checking out Black Widow’s butt… with the caption, “Brother, behold dat ass…”
Ten years ago I was talking to a guy I knew after running into him on the street. Something behind me caught his attention; his eyes glazed over and he mouthed, “oh my god”.
Curious, I turned in the direction of his stare to see my 15 year old daughter approaching to say hi. Although I occasionally have run into the guy since, we studiously have avoided speaking.
As Seinfeld put it, “It’s like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.”
I was shopping at a tennis store. I’m standing there looking at a racket when a female walks up next to me. First thing I notice is her cleavage, I follow that up to her face and realize she’s 14.:smack: Then I notice her father standing behind her giving me the evil eye. I quickly walked away.
A guy I know noticed the nice ass of a woman walking in front of him and then later realized it was his daughter.
Why he decided to share this, I don’t know.
Wife was working at the same place I was going to school.
She was going down the sidewalk ahead of where I & some class mates were coming outside. A guy ahead of me said, “Wow, I’ wonder if she is as hot in bed as she looks?” I spoke up and said, “Yeah, pretty much.” Him, “How would you know?” in a snarky voice. Me, “Because she is my wife.” Bawahahahaha Several of the guys with us ( friends that knew us both ) backed me up, that indeed she was my wife.
Poor guy was goosey around me for the rest of the school time, about a year to go at that point. he he he
Was it Ryan O’Neal?
I was in the concession area of an arena waiting for the start of a college basketball game. A bunch of college girls walked by and the last one gave me a really dirty look like I was some sort of pervert. The thing was, the girls had written all sorts of stuff on their shirts with paint. It was all rah-rah go team type things but it was hard to read so I had to kind of stare to figure it out.
Maybe next time I’ll wait until we get home.
I never get caught, I’m really good at what I do. I’ll look down at my watch or something but my eyes will be somewhere else. Unless you’re staring into my eyes, you cannot tell. I don’t think I’ve ever been caught 
I honestly do my best Not to look. Who knows what some jealous psycho violence-prone trailer-trash husband might do?
Anecdotally, I had an experiance the other day where it was hard Not to look. I was driving on a highway when two motorcycles in single file passed me. Cycle one in front had Joe Clueless Guy on it and cycle two had his Wife / GF / FWB / Common Law Bed Mate riding behind him.
As cycle number two passed me (and I was doing the speed limit, was at the same speed, and was in the same lane for 30+ minutes), the female rider slowed down to my speed as her rear tire passed my front bumper.
She then stood up on her motorcycle stirrups and wiggled her ass. I hope she got her jollies; I just changed the radio station.
If I was looking, fine, call me out on it. Personally, I don’t think the Dirty Look Police should be giving me the stink eye when intentional billboarding happens though.