Yes, as a matter of fact, I am checking out your girlfriend

I’ll admit it; I’ve got a wandering eye. I have been known to check out attractive women wherever I see them. Since I am usually discreet and respectful of other people’s space and privacy, this isn’t a problem. Every once in a while though, I will make eye contact with a girl who is accompanied my a guy, and often said guy will take exception. Typically, they’ll flash me a cold stare, as if to mark their territory. I must admit, this baffles me. When I’m out with a girl, and another guy looks her over, I don’t mind in the least. The fact that I have very little jealousy in me has a lot to do with it, no doubt. But in general I feel like that guy is just reinforcing my own belief that I’m with someone good-looking. Like he’s saying, “You’ve got good taste.” I mean, personally I’m secure enough that I wouldn’t worry about any girlfriend of mine leaving me for some dude who checked her out in the parking lot at the mini mall.

Is anybody else feeling me here, or what?

I used to be more jealous before I got married (been married for 3 years now. :)) and I think it depends a lot on the look. If I see some guy looking at my wife and I can obviously tell he’s checking her out, but he keeps it to that and moves on in a timely manner, I have no problem. It’s when a guy is sitting there overtly ogling her or actually acting as if he wants her attention, trying to hit on her or something. That pisses me off and will earn him a cold hard glare at the least.

There is a fine line between appreciating a beautiful woman and pushing it further than that. From what I’ve seen most men innately understand and respect this, but there are some that push it for who knows what reason.

I of course don’t know how long you were looking at her really or in what manner, so I’m not implying that you crossed the line. Some guys simply have a very low self esteem and cannot handle even having you notice the woman they are with. That is a different story altogether. I don’t concern myself with them too much (other than not turning my back on them).

You can check out my girlfriend as long as I can check out yours.

I suppose you could get your butt kicked if you weren’t too careful. Probably best to acknowledge that you’ve been busted and then move on. You really don’t want to risk a trip to the hospital just to sneak a peak at someone.

Birdie, I would be more concerned with how the woman reacts to this, although you might face more physical harm from the guy. IME, not every woman appreciates being considered eye candy.

You male person. I don’t care if you stare and glare or don’t stare and glare, I probably won’t notice. I probably won’t register your existence. If I do (like, say, because you’ve just knocked my teeth out or something), you still won’t be relevant.

I don’t expect female people to reciprocate my attraction for them. Lusting after females on the basis of visual appearance is a solitary activity. It doesn’t even involve them, so it most certainly doesn’t involve you (#$^#! testosterone-poisoned angry violent lump most appropriately designated as food source for deprived cannibals).

I like to lust after visually attractive females. It is pleasant and reminds me of how pleasant it is to become involved with females romantically, and of how pleasant sex is. Now and then I wonder what it would be like to get involved with someone just because you are sexually attracted to their appearance. I’d probably experiment with it if no one else was doing it, but my sense of it is that the visually attractive females get a lot of that kind of curious attention and find a significant portion of it rather annoying, so it would probably be difficult to strike up a conversation. I mean, if it were like this:


me: Hi, I saw you over there and found you to be profoundly sexually attractive. You’re beautiful and sexy, so, although I know absolutely nothing else about you, I thought I’d come over and introduce myself.

she: Hmm! Fascinating! What’s that like? How does it make you feel? Is it as disconcerting as it sounds? Gee, I think maybe I had a similar experience once upon a time…

…then, sure, I’d possibly end up saying hello to your girlfriend. (Not registering, of course, that she has you in hand, I’m kinda oblivious that way).
But since that isn’t the anticipated reaction, I’ll just do some visual appreciation for its own sake.

If you don’t like it, have your girlfriend tell me to knock it off, and I’ll willingly to so.

I am. But I wouldn’t care, I just wouldn’t be surprised if my (hypothetical) girlfriend wandered off to some guy checking her out at the mall. It’ll happen to me one day, I’m sure. I’d feel shafted, yeah, but if you knew me, it’d be more understandable. I have, apparently, a plethora of idiosychrosies (no clue how to spell that), which annoy almost everyone. Meh, I’d have to get a girlfriend first.

Absolutely, positively, Not. A. Problem. :slight_smile:

I’ve never lingered more than a second or two. After all, it’s impolite to stare. The women themselves regard me either with total indifference, or with the practiced jaded look of one who is used to such things. The only negative vibes I’ve ever recieved are from the boyfriends. If only they knew my (utter lack of) intentions…I have never recieved an ass-kicking as a result of this, presumably because the men involved see the pointlessness of it.

AHunter3: that’s just it. I expect no reciprocation, which is why I have no hesitation about glancing. And I agree completely that it’s a solitary activity. A lot of guys I know seem to think they have to alert anyone in earshot that they’ve spotted someone attractive. I’ve never understood the point of that at all.

So I hereby decree: everyone who whishes to check, check away. And if some brute tries to pound you, tell 'em Birdman said it was OK. But warn me if you do so I can go hide.

like a library? kick ass

Now that’s the kind of thing one would definitely want to get in writing. No pun intended.

Yes, I do check out you as well as your girlfriend when you walk by. Yes, it does sometimes confuse you because you don’t know which one of you I’m checking out, but that’s ok. Wanna let me make it a magical three? [ignore that last sentence; my libido hijacked the computer.]

And if she did, she wasn’t worth your time anyway, and “dude” would be getting exactly what he deserves.

Hell, MrsB once went out for a going-away party for a friend, and she ended up on stage at a peeler bar. She was being admired by all the guys and girls in the joint.

And me, I was at home reading a book :frowning:

My wife is a big flirt, and I’m a big jealous-head, so I get myself in trouble sometimes, but I’m trying real hard to get over it.

I don’t mind guys checking out my wife. She’s hot. I think so, and I know other guys do, too. Sometimes it does weird me out, but I know nothings going to happen.

The biggest kick was at a street fair when she got her ass pinched by another girl walking by. I saw it coming and did absolutely nothing to stop it.

An quick glance if fine. Staring is rude, and if you are being rude to my lady, I am going to have a problem with it. The longer you stare, the bigger the problem I am going to have.

It’s that simple.

When I go out with a man, and other women ogle or try to flirt, 1) I don’t care, because at the end of the night, he’s still going to be with me, and 2) I trust him enough not to run off with another women (on our date, anyway).


I often tell Mrs Chance when I notice some guy giving her the eye. I think she thinks it’s a bit funny but mostly dull.

She also sometimes points out hot ladies to me. Especially at the beach. But heck, to me she’s still tops.

God, am I the most married man in the world or what.

Because there’s something just a little bit… yucky… about some stranger ogling and thinking about… well… you simply don’t know what they are thinking about. That’s the point. They could be thinking about anything.

And because violence is unfortunately not too uncommon and anyone who dwells overlong is potential trouble. Admittedly this is paranoia, but when it comes to my loved one’s safety I am a little paranoid.

And because it’s rude. “I like to look at pretty women”? So? Why are you staring? (hell, if it was a glance then noone would notice.) Frankly I’ve never understood this. To me, people are people and I don’t get why some guys feel the need to “check out” a woman just because she is pretty. I submit if your first thought is of that woman as an individual, loved by her friends and family and with her own problems and happinesses then you don’t think ::pant - I’d like to do her::

I dunno - at the end of the day I just find it a weird thing to do.


I have a wandering eye as well… and it used to get me in trouble when Astrogirl busted me! Then we had a little heart-to-heart (or should I say “touch your nose” talk) one night. I explained to her, in all seriousness, that it was something over which I have NO control. She (eventually) understood: I am male, I am a male with an unusually large sex-drive, and I am Mr. Curiousity (I ask her about everything here in Korea… she gets annoyed with my constant “What’s THAT?” questions… on the other hand she likes it when I explain stuff to her. [sup]In Korean schools they just give you facts, they never tell you why! For example, a couple of weeks ago she asked me about a book I was reading The Elegant Universe; superstring theory… I didn’t understand much of it! I’ll read it again in a few months… She could tell that my mind was elsewhere and asked what I was thinking about, I told her, which led to a discussion about dimensions and eventually to geometry… her major in college was mathematics. She said, “How did they come up with the value for pi?” I was able to give a vague explanation, and she was impressed… they had never told her in school! Our love-making that night was wonderful! I say that because it has been non-existent since… another thread which I may or may not start…[/sup] Anyways, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah! She only noticed when I was checking out the girls, NOT when I was checking out the guy with the green hair, or the guy with the huge bulge in the crotch of his tight jeans (does he stuff?)… I look at everyone and everything! It’s a habit… admittedly, my motives for looking at the girl in the mini-skirt are different from my motives for looking at the guy carrying the keg of beer… (IE: WOW! She’s sexy VS. WOW! He’s got a lot of beer!) Both are things that I want, but I’m not going to go try to get the beer, nor am I going to try to get the girl…

Let’s be honest here: my mind is ALWAYS on (unless I’m blind-drunk, in which case I’m harmless unless I burn myself up by passing out holding a lit cigarette…), and my mind knows what is good for it… it allows a brief checkout look at sexy girls, but will NOT allow anything further.

Astrogirl knows this… and she knows that I trust her (I have ruined her for Korean men! She sees how her friends’ husbands treat them… household help that sometimes scolds them when they come home from a night of drinking and whoring).

So, I don’t really mind when guys give Astrogirl the eye… as long as it’s lust they’re looking at her with! However, me being white and she being Korean, oftentimes it’s NOT lust, but disgust! You see, GOOD Korean girls don’t date foreigners…:rolleyes: Therefore, Astrogirl is either a slut or a prostitute. The old prejudices are hard to be rid of!

So, if a guy checks out Astrogirl, I don’t really mind… she’s HOT! I know that! And I’m probably checking out the girl that he’s with…

But, if he checks her out with that look of disgust, I instantly want to kick ass (You! Typical middle-age Korean business-man guy who gives Astrogirl THAT look! You wanna start something? I, standing about a foot taller, and outweighing you by at least a hundred pounds, urge you to do so! It would be VERY theraputic for me…)! I’m pretty peaceful normally, but DO NOT diss Astrogirl, even non-verbally! We went through a lot to find each other…

Sorry for ranting…

As for Astrogirl running off with a guy who has been checking her out: Heh, not gonna happen! I trust her, and she trusts me. As I said, we BOTH went through a lot to find each other, and when it’s perfect, it’s perfect! It just clicks and you KNOW.

And it is perfect!:smiley:

(except for this whole menstruation thing! I mean, what’s the deal with THAT?? When Astrogirl wants sex, does she EVER see a sign tied around Mr. Happy reading “Closed for repairs”? NO! The only sign there reads “Open for business! Welcome! We appreciate your patronage! Come again!” Did I mention that you-know-who is off to LA for a business trip? And that before she left, there was kissing and hugging, but nothing else? Did I mention that I’m horny? DAMN!):smiley: