I don’t recall anywhere in the article where it said they asked her to continue nursing in the restroom. I believe they simply asked if she would cover herself, or discontinue nursing in the restaurant. Am I mistaken?
In other threads dealing with this, such a suggestion has been brought up.
I think it’s really ironic, that people won’t often say or do anything to the female dressed in VERY revealing clothing out in public, showing lots of cleavage, but that once she puts her breasts to their nature made function, it’s wrong somehow, and people don’t want to see it. I think maybe in some cases, it’s because some of these adults wouldn’t drink breast milk for themselves, and so they find the sight of such being consumed vaguely nauseating, and don’t know how to work through the feelings and deal with it, or don’t care to.
Discretion works both ways, sometimes the person veiwing the thing has to excercise theirs, and look away, knowing that no law is being broken, and really their rights aren’t being invaded either, since they still have the ability to sit elsewhere, or look away, and the mother isn’t getting in their space with a baby dangling from her milk filled bosom.
As I said, it’s intent that counts, the mothers aren’t intending to cause discomfort, they are just feeding their child. Knowing this, people should ease up, and take a look at why they are so hyper sensitive. As long as the woman isn’t standing right in front of a person, thrusting the breast with the baby attached into their faces, or doing other things to call attention directly to the fact that they are nursing, I feel that they should be left in peace.
It kinda reminds me of the time I had a NASTY bone deep wound on my shin in High School. (A big chunk of flesh scraped away by a serrated brick edge.) It had gotten to the point in the healing process that it needed to be uncovered. It was pretty gross, it was not a solid scab, and was still draining too. (Poor circulation in my legs due to Juvenile Rhuemathoid Arthritis.) This meant going to Gym with my sock carefully folded down away from the wound, so it wouldn’t stick.
A “preppie” girl loftily informed me that she found the sight of my wound puke worthy (As if I didn’t, and it was on my leg!) and that because of this, I HAD to cover it up so she couldn’t see it. I called bullshit, and told her to mind her own business, told her I was under “Doctor’s orders” to keep it uncovered, and said “Don’t look at it if it bothers you so much!” It wasn’t as if I were waving my shin under her nose, laughing as she retched, I was just going about my business, doing the weight training the class required. (This is how the wound came into her sight line occaisionally, I’d be doing arm curls, she’d be doing bench presses.)
The arrogance of people who think they have the right to impose their wishes on someone else, because something about the other law abiding citizen bothers them astounds me.
We all have to “look the other way” at certain times to get along in the world. We’re all different, and something about someone is bound to bother at some point in time. The best thing to do, is look the other way, and move on, knowing that others have done this for you in the past, and will do so in the future. This is, of course, applied when dealing with situations like in this thread, where the other person is not breaking any law, but for some reason you feel bothered.
Also, I found this:
from the link in the OP.
(this post not aimed at the above quoted only, but all those who just feel ‘squicked out’ by breastfeeding and desire to have it removed from your possible fields of vision)
Why? I double BOOB dare you to come up with one SINGLE verifiable reason why this woman should NOT have fed her child in the restaurant.
AND saying the following DOES NOT count:
I think it’s gross.
I think it’s inappropriate.
Many people find it disgusting. (PS. WHO are these people besides you? And provide a site with reliable statistics stating that the majority of Americans share you grossly outdated, Neanderthalic opinion)
It’s something that should be done in private. (So should picking your thong out of the crack of your ass, but plenty of idiots find that an absolute turn on)
Like Frumpy Jones, I am eager to see your documentation of the affront that breastfeeding a child causes to the public at large.
In the meantime, you can go on reciting your creed:
Yea, though we walk through the valley of camel-toed jeans and halters holding up silicone with the nipples peeking out, I shall fear only breastfeeding for as thou can see, it is most evil and destructive to humanity. The rod AND the staff should be used liberally to pummel such women as who would defile our very vision and morally corrupt us with such a degrading, putrificating sight. Surely, once we rid our planet of those craven beasts who seek to (insert tone of horror)FEED their children, the world will be a better place and we can go back to watching the teeny tummy fat rolls peek out over the low rider jeans of the girl down on the corner as she bends over to proposition the guy in the car! Perhaps, evenso, we will be able to continiue our patronage of PG-13 rated movies where the majesty that is entrails, blood, gore, and mutilation can solice minds wounded by the affront such blatant exposure has wreaked. Weep for mankind! Weep until the unimaginable horror that is breastfeeding has been wiped from this earth- So we can enjoy our Judge Judy episodes in peace- So we can watch Temptation Island without fear of mother/child/breast persecution- So we can live normal lives steeped in violence and sex, the way it should be. Fini
- I was a breastfeeding mother. Three children, until all were 1 year old. I breastfed in public. I was never accosted by any small minded imbeciles, and from what I’ve read here, I count myself fortunate for that.
FB
Understand that I’m on your side here, and I’m asking this only because it’s a subject I’ve never given much thought. I’m trying to phrase my question in such a way as to not be thought an asshole.
Why shouldn’t I be able to openly masturbate in a public place? Why shouldn’t I be able to pull out a jar and take a piss while standing in line for my Whopper?
I’m having trouble coming up with a good answer to the above quoted question, but I’m similarly having trouble coming up with a good answer to mine. I don’t mean to equate the acts, but I’m not really seeing why objection to one is rational and the other is irrational.
Again, understand that I fully support anyone’s right to breastfeed in public, and that I have no personal objections. I’m just trying to fight my own ignorance.
Dr. J
To answer the above question by DoctorJ because although peeing is a normal bodily function involving bodily fluids, and so is masturbation, they are also functions that for hygenic reasons are performed “behind closed doors”. People eat in public every day, there is no “taboo” involving this in our culture, so why should the method of eating, or the age of the ingestor matter? Think of that. There is a taboo against having sex (even if it’s self only) in public, and certainly against eliminating in public too. (The scent of piss kinda ruins the taste of fries.)
Masturbation is legally defined as indecent while breastfeeding is not.
Also, feeding is necessary to the welfare of a baby.
<devil’s advocate mode=on>
That doesn’t answer the question as to why we consider one to be indecent and the other not.
Peeing is necessary as well*, but we still generally require people to urinate behind closed doors.
Dr. J
*Nitpicks regarding dialysis will be punished by swift death.
DoctorJ See the post I made before this, and go down the lines of thinking I began therin. You should know that the reason you aren’t allowed to pee just anywhere is due to the fact that it’s just not hygenic. I’m sure if you whipped out a jar and peed in it in a fast food restaurant you’d be arrested for indecent exposure, and also possibly banned from the premises for violating health codes.
It should be noted that a Neanderthal wouldn’t bat an eye at a woman nursing a baby in public. This is a relatively modern attitude and seems fairly localized in the Western world, particularly the US.
Enjoy,
Steven
Neither of those actions is any less hygienic than picking your nose. Urine is sterile and is allegedly good for cleaning out wounds on the battlefield.
For better or worse, there is a taboo involving bare breasts in public. Someone who’s offended by breasts might turn your question around and ask: Why should it matter whether someone’s sucking on said breast, or how old said sucker is?
<devil’s advocate mode=still on>
Again, struggling to be perfectly objective, I think that if one’s load/piss is handled properly, neither is particularly unhygenic, at least not in ways that aren’t equally true of breastfeeding.
To turn the question around, there is a taboo in our culture against exposing a woman’s breasts in public, so why should the reason for doing so matter?
Dr. J
Whether pee is sterile when it first comes out of the body or not, (if the person has no infections that is) it is a medium which grows microbes easy, and that is why the public health codes are in place. The same with semanal fluid.
There is a difference between a grown man sucking on a bared breast, and a child. The grown man is doing so for sexual thrills, the child to get nourishment. A grown man (or woman) can eat other foods to gain nourishment, and does not rely on breast milk as their sole form of food.
The law covers the baring of breasts for sexual purposes, not for nursing purposes. That’s what you are failing to see. Both the functions of a penis are deemed inappropriate as actions to be carried out in full veiw of everyone.
As far as your objection to bared breasts, most women don’t flop out their entire breast to nurse, many women use a discreet “throw” and many women also have special “nursing” blouses, which do not expose the breast.
Even so, if the woman is not doing these things for whatever reason, what of it? I don’t necessarily want to look at another female’s boob either, but I’m not going to get bent out of shape over it if she’s minding her own business, feeding her child. I figure it’s her right to feed the baby, the baby’s right to eat, and mine to look away. It is NOT my right to put my vague feelings of discomfort over either the mother’s or the baby’s rights to feed, and eat. Eating takes priority over my feelings in this.
Just as it was my right to have my wound uncovered, and the preppie’s right to look away from it. Even if she was grossed out at the sight of it, it did not mean I had to cover it up, especially since it was not a good thing medically to do.
Heck, it’s no worse than being in a locker room anyway, or looking in the mirror in my case. They’re boobs, they have a function… To me, it’s just not worth dwelling on, and crying over. If I were male, or attracted to females, I’d feel the same way. So I’ve seen a bared boob with a baby latched on eating, so what? I was more concerned that the mother would be uncomfortable in the frigid air conditioned air than anything.
I’ll add, adults don’t rely on breast milk as a form of food at all, while breastfeeding children get most or all of their nourishment from it.
Another addition, females are blocked from eliminating and masturbating in public too.
The nursing mother does not have her child sucking her breast for sexual pleasure, the baby is doing so to eat. That is the “saving grace” that you fail to see. That’s why there appears to be a “double standard” to some.
Breasts = good!
I think that, any time women feel like they want to whip out their breasts in public, men have a duty to be supportive! If a woman asked me if I would mind if she slipped out of her bra in a restaurant or whatever, I would encourage her to do as she liked! I would also suggest that she make kissy-faces at me.
That’s true.
That’s not true.
When the discussion - on a board devoted to fighting ignorance - involves a point of legal significance, you cannot say, “Hey, we’re just laymen, talking, stop parading your knowledge around,” and expect to be taken seriously. There are a variety of experts in a variety of fields here. I may offer some views on how harmless sneezing in public sans handkerchief is, but I’ll certain defer to Qadop if he offers specifics about spray viral transmissions. I won’t point out that I was speaking as a layman and am somehow immune from additional information.
- Rick
Well, I look at it like this: Say I’m having dinner with my husband in a restaurant, and when he asks me how my day was. I start telling him about all the cool traumas we saw, and the size, color, and consistency of the tumors we removed, to the disgust of the people seated within earshot of us. Someone complains, and a waitress asks us nicely to lower our voices or have our conversation elsewhere so as not to disturb the other customers. I can scream and howl about how I’m perfectly within my rights to exercise my freedom of speech and how I’m just having a perfectly normal, natural, healthy conversation and bonding experience with my husband and demand an apology. I can walk out of the restaurant in a huff and never go back. Or, I can accept the fact that I’m doing something other people consider rude and/or inappropriate for the dinner table and either change the subject or lower my voice.
Yes, I have a right to discuss my job anywhere, for any reason, and talking about my day with my husband is good for our relationship. We consider blood and guts and tumors and gunshot wounds to be perfectly normal, healthy dinner conversation. But we recognize that other people don’t agree with us, and we try to have some modicum of respect for the sensibilities of others. It’s called courtesy. We are perfectly entitled to talk about this stuff in front of people who are uncomfortable with it, but that would be crass.
Can someone who truly finds public breastfeeding offensive please explain why they are offended by the partial exposure of the breast of a women during the act of feeding her child? Is it the breast itself? The discreetness (or lack thereof) of the act? Do they not understand the importance of breastfeeding? How the act benefits society?
Because as it stands, I still find it extremely offensive and perplexing that (even coming from a “devil’s advocate” position) explicit tumor discussions during dinner, urinating in jars, and masturbating in public are considered comparable to breastfeeding. Reasonable people who truly understand the importance of breastfeeding to the health of mothers and infants, who understand the need to encourage breastfeeding in our society, must realize that urinating in a jar in public is rightly condemned as an antisocial, aggressive, and unsanitary act. Yes, most urine is sterile, but I certainly wouldn’t want to walk on stinking urine-covered sidewalks or sit next to jars of urine in restaurants. Same with public masturbation and tumor discussions that are loud enough to disturb other patrons in a resturant; the intent and result is negative in nature. There are no positive consequences. It comes down to results. Urine in jars and masturbation in public = no discernible positive results (though I’m certain someone will step up with a justification). Breastfeeding = healthy, happy baby and mom, and by extension, society in general is benefited (positive result).
Breastfeeding should be (and from what I’ve experienced, thankfully, usually is) percieved as normal human behavior; a natural and necessary nuturing act between mother and child. How can such behavior be considered offensive, or rude, or antisocial? I remember a similar thread concerning public breastfeeding where one isolated situation of “indiscreet” breastfeeding was used to justify the villification of the act in general. I, on the other hand, have never witnessed any acts of public breastfeeding that made me uncomfortable. Which leads me to believe people who are disturbed by breastfeeding are in the wrong. Yes, they are entitled to their morals and sensibilties, but it doesn’t follow that those feelings are right and correct. This isn’t about courtesy; the act itself is not disgusting, it is not offensive. Mothers and babies deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and we as a society need women to breastfeed in public so the act becomes so accepted and encouraged, people who object to the act will keep their foolish, hurtful opinions to themselves.
XJETGIRLX let me preface by stating that I mean no ill will, but I know of no nursing mother who enjoys exposing her breasts to the public. Discreet nursing comes with practice and depends on the baby’s mood and hunger level. Mothers have to leave the house once in awhile, and when your baby is hungry or sleepy and there are no private areas available, nursing in public is inevitable. I truly hope you can overcome your embarrassment should you have children.
Romola You’ve managed to echo my sentiments exactly. Although I have felt somewhat uncomfortable seeing a mom breastfeeding her child in a public place, it was more empathy due to the facts that it was frigid cold, and her entire breast was exposed, and she was an immigrant, and people around her were casting contempt at her. Otherwise, I know that what she was doing is not illegal, and is definitely excellent for nurturing her baby, so I showed compassion, and looked away, so she would not see worry or pity in my face. (Only because of the cold, and the contempt, I thought she was a wonderful mom and admired her too.)
I also found myself to be baffled and annoyed with the comparisons made in this thread. I found myself wondering if people could really be that thick, or if it was that they were trying to justify and hold on to their own “prudishness”?
It seems that maybe some of the people who posted that they were trying to understand the people in favor of breastfeeding where ever necessary, were in actuality trying to pick apart our reasonings, not listen and find points they could relate to. But those are just my opinions.