I saw what you were up to, Mr. Ford Explorer Driver. The same thing you do every morning. First you get into the exit only lane, which is of course fairly clear since most people aren’t getting off at 125th street. Then you zip forward past a whole 10 or 15 cars. But you’re not exiting. Instead, you pull into the breakdown lane, and then muscle your way back into traffic, saving yourself a whole minute or two. Who cares if you’re impeding the few people who actually want to exit? Who cares if you are risking a collision with your manuever? You drive a big heavy SUV and therefore you’re more important than the rest of us, eh?
Anyway, it’s too bad things didn’t work out quite as you intended this morning, eh? Too bad you didn’t see the police hanging out in the breakdown lane until it was too late. Oh well, enjoy the fine and the points on your license, asshole. And I’m sure your co-workers were glad not to have to deal with you for the half hour you were being written up.
’
But have a nice day!
I am reminded of that wonderful scene from Fox’s World’s Most Incredible Fucking Morons, where a presumably intoxicated Agro-American successfully negotiates his way across a busy highway with a cooler in hand, only to be cut down by your SUV driver who is dodging traffic by blasting down the shoulder.
If only justice could be served in such a delicious way every day. The world would be a much more interesting place.
Listen, cumrag, I get off in that exit lane (different city, same idea), and I drive an SUV. Ya know what, you maggot infested, snot soaked kleenex? I get cut off by morons in little cars driving up the shoulder more often than by SUVs. Why? Because dumbasses drive all kinds of cars–there’s no natural law that makes them drive the dreaded 4-wheeler–and there are more little cars than big on the roads. I patiently wait my turn at Malfunction Junction, while people trying legitimately to get onto I-26 get on, and while people trying legitimately to get to I-20 get off. Then the fuckstick in any 2 or 4 wheeled vehicle comes around on the right on the paved shoulder. It doesn’t matter, sweatsock of a teenaged, acne infested, chronic masturbator, what they’re driving.
Get a life. Oh, yeah, I don’t drive a behemoth of an SUV–it’s a 94 Tracker, kind of a toy Jeep. It ain’t big, it ain’t dent proof, and it don’t make me drive like an idiot. That’s something that people in cars of all sizes do.
Heck, Freedom; just outside my apartment (yes, I live on the ground floor), the local town police sit in a marked cop car at the four-way intersection to catch those who run the stop signs. Now, the amusing thing about this is, you can see the police car from three directions for about 10 blocks in advance! The fourth direction is only one block long, so that doesn’t enter into the equation.
Every weekend when the cops do this, at least a few folks breeze by at the alarming clip of 25 mph and are surprised they get pulled over by the cops!
It’s my observation that no one can ever eliminate the risk of getting pulled over. No matter what you do, there is always that random cop.
However, I do think that the majority of people pulled over could have avoided it with minimal trouble. Keeping an eye out for cops is not all that hard. Just the other night I was coming to a stop sign near my house (ruralish area) that I usually roll through. I saw a cop with his lights on sitting back and scoping out the Stop sign, so I came to a complete stop. If you blow through a stop sign without seeing the cop, then there is no way you made sure the way was clear.
Please don’t take this to mean that I think you can do what you want. If you break traffic laws and get busted, don’t come bitching to me. I spend a good 80% of my time driving scanning for cops:)
The other 20% is spent talking on my cell:)
(joking…joking…chill out, it’s a joke)
FTR…
I drive any of the following, in order of time spent in the vehicles:
Ford Probe
Toyota Celica
Ford F-150
Ford Ranger
I drive the same in all of them. In fact, I learned to drive that way in a 1981 Rabbit. (a toaster on wheels)
:rolleyes: yourself. stofsky is using the exit lane to exit and getting cut off by small cars who are pulling the “pass 5 cars and force merge” crap. Read, then post.
Yo, dickweed, read the post. I take that exit lane, legally, and intending to exit there. I was agreeing that people driving in the breakdown lane are assholes, and at the same time pointing out your assholishness in your “Look at me, I’m a bigger one trick pony than Exprit*” SUV-hating attitude. I second the notion on taking that first (and last) skydiving lesson.
*I called him that first, starting the firestorm. I can use it again
