Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
Isn’t it Friday yet?
ISN’T IT FRIDAY YET?
This just happened to me last night. My sister and I were headed west on Rt. 22 near Lebanon, and a bolt of lightning hit a telephone pole not a hundred yards ahead of us. It was really bright, and there was a spray of sparks and some smoke, but no one was near it when it hit, and it didn’t even seem to knock out any lights or anything. It happened fast, though, and we were past it before the smoke cleared, so I don’t know if there were any long term consequences. Nor do I remember hearing any thunder, although it hit right in front of us, and there was plenty of thunder before and after.
My sister’s and my response? “Cooool!!!”
Oddly enough, this is almost verbatim what a friend of mine told me recently. It’s so close, in fact, I’d almost suspect him of having a sock, if I didn’t know better.
So, I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about offending people with the snark, then, huh? They’d probably be more offended if I exploded from it and blew off one of their limbs or something, don’t you think?
I don’t know, Taters is the one running around with no underwear. At least you wore panties! 
That’s too bad about Aunt Thedadelle, Ashes[sup]2[/sup]. I hope she’s feeling better soon. I’ll be by with my faux apple pie just as soon as she wakes up. Now, me, I found that drummer fellow educational, but I can see where some of the older folks might get a bit riled.
It’s true about the Gonzales’s hair disaster, though. I was down getting my hair done for the big do at Bubba’s Bondage Barn, and Ida got a call from them while she was in the middle of setting my head. Seems they wanted her to come out and help them try to re-dye their hair because they were too embarassed to be seen in town like that. Now, you know Ida doesn’t do housecalls; I don’t know what they were thinking, but she’s the one who suggested shaving. I didn’t think she was serious, but I guess they went ahead and tried it.
Anyway, now my hair’s about two inches shorter than it ought to be 'cause Ida was on the phone with them and me half-done. Just inconsiderate, that’s what I call that. But what can you expect from people who use Cool Whip instead of whipping their own cream?
Winnie it might just be a blessin’ that your hair is a couple inches shorter. Especially in church. Folks won’t be complainin’ they caint see the preacher for your hair now. The Lord works in mysterious ways, is all I’m sayin’. I was over to see Ida for my regular hair appointment just this mornin’ and let me tell you, they was all abuzz over at the “Curl Up An’ Dye” over that grand openin’ at Bubba’s Leather Barn. Seems that Mr. Drummer feller had a bunch of the menfolk wantin’ to help him cool down after his performance and they was all jealous cause Jose and Big Leather Bubba ask me special cause they know I’m real good at takin’ care of company. I mean I did it just as a favor to the boys. You’d think they’d be more understandin’ what with the boys havin’ to take care of all that stuff that goes on at a grand openin’. I hear tell the Gonzales’s have come up with a solution about their shaved heads. Seems they like it. Mrs. Gonzales says it’s so much easier to take care of than regular hair. Well, they were seen comin’ out of Mad Martha’s Tattoo Parlor and Used Auto Parts Store early this mornin’ and they had had their initials tattooed right on their heads! Plus, Mrs. Gonzales finally found that muffler she’s been lookin’ for for that 1958 Studebaker she’s been restorin.’ Mr. Gonzales is lookin’ right smart in that new monogrammed collar and leash Jose and Big Leather Bubba presented him with at the grand openin’ don’t y’all think? Now I got to get goin’! I got to get home and make that tuna fish and tater tot casserole and get it over to Aunt Thedadelle’s and Uncle Harvey’s before I go visit the boys and try out that new leather swing they done got.
HUH??!!! :eek: 
My head must have been really messed up yesterday because I REALLY don’t remember talking about not wearing panties. Um, I just don’t do that, not wear panties, I mean. I find it…uncomfortable.
Oh, Taters, I’m sorry. That’s what I get for trying to post and work at the same time. At least I haven’t sent the whole MMP an internship offer letter yet!
No, it was Tupug who was running around commando, at least until she bought some new ones.
Methinks winny has confused you with me and my comment about being scared outta my knickers. You gonna go see it tonite, tates?
On preview I see I’m right.
I think it was the part about you wearing Mr. Taters’ boxers on your head while you ran around the neighborhood singin’ I Feel Pretty that Winnie is referring to. You really did post that yesterday Taters but I talked a mod into deleting it cause I knew you’d be really really embarrassed about it today. See how sweet and kind and thoughtful I am. I’m not even bringing it back up for everybody to remember.
Now swampy, you be careful about mixin’ with them show business folk. Their ways are different than ours and I would not want you to stray from the straight and narrow and become citified. When you’re swinging tonight remember not to go too far. You don’t want to get sick like you did on the Tilt A Whirl at the County Faire and Monster Truck Rally when you was five. I swan, we like to never got that funnel cake and cotton candy washed out of your mother’s bouffant. Ruined her best pink bow completely. Which reminds me, Winny darlin’ don’t you fret about yor hair bein’ too short. With a proper application of Aqua Net and vigorous rattin’ with my best comb, we’ll have your hair back up to eight inches the way you like. A woman’s greatest glory is her hair and the bigger the hair, the greater the glory, I always say.
That tuna fish and tater tot casserole sounds purely delicious swampy. I’ll have to sample some when I call over to Aunt Thedadelle and Uncle Hollis’ this afternoon. You’ll be glad to know that Aunt Thedadelle is home and resting comfortable out to the back porch, though I had to kick up a fuss so’s the dogs be put in the yard to lay under the porch like proper dogs ought to. I don’t care if they were the best ‘coon dogs in three counties. It’s puttin’ on airs to allow them up on the porch. Never mind there’d be no room for the washer and Aunt Thedadelle both if the dogs stayed, and I will not move my washer just to coddle those lazy, good for nothin’ hounds! Uncle Hollis says thankeekindly for the offer to show him the proper use of that rooster collar he bought. We’ve got ourselves a mean ol’ floggin’ rooster needs learnin’ some manners. I swan, that rooster is floggin’ all day and night and that’s just not natcheral.
Now back to yesterday’s excitin’ events; it seems the whole thing happened because Aunt Thedadelle’s girdle was too tight. Back some time ago she bought a new one, from down to Sharleene’s Deluxe Fashions ‘n’ More and it was the wrong size. Aunt Thedadelle is too vain to wear her glasses, you know, and Sharleene is a Collins so she’s as dumb as a sack a hair, blessherlittleheart, so it’s no wonder she bought the wrong size, really. Aunt Thedadelle had no idea it was so small as she was saving it for a special ocassion and by the time she found out it didn’t fit, well you know how almighty stubborn she can be. Look at where it got her; sprawled all unladylike right out on the dirt, legs akimbo, her best go-to-meetin’ hat squashed flat and her tongue stickin’ out just a little bit, in front of Bubba’s Bondage Barn, with nigh onto the whole town takin a gander at her unmentionables. The poor thing, the oxygen to her brain was completely cut off! Which is what they did to her girdle in the emergency room. I hear tell it was on so tight that when it was cut loose it shot halfway across the room and one of the hooks hit Doc Hickingbottom right in the eye and pert near blinded him! As y’all have mentioned, it would be a cryin’ shame not to wear decent underpinings in case of accident or natural disaster, but I think the lesson learned here is to also make sure they fit.
Well I am off, down to the Piggly Wiggly to get me a mess of okra. It’s on sale 53 cents a pound. If I dip it in corn meal batter, I do believe it will go right nice with the chicken fried steak and gravy I plan to serve. Uncle Hollis’ cholesterol is a bit high, so I think I will only cook mashed potatoes and scalloped potatoes and leave out the fried potatoes I am in the habit of cookin’ when I serve chicken fried steak. Though we do have the mock apple pie that sweet Winnie sent over, it wouldn’t do for him to go hungry. So I do believe I’ll also serve some green beans and bacon cooked with fat back renderins, since the collard greens they got in are a right shame. That should be a nice, light meal and do Uncle Hollis’ heart some good.
**Susan’s ** a slut! Oh wait, she was just not wearing pantyhose? Goodness gracious, it’s a million bazillion degrees out. I’d be worried if you were wearing them.
Malted milk balls make the tip of my tongue hurt. See, I don’t really like the chocolate, it’s the malted center I’m after. But nobody makes just malted milk balls with no chocolate and heck if I can find a recipe. Also, the experiments with just eating a spoonful of malt power were unsuccessful to say the least. So to get to the part of the malted milk ball I actually want, I must remove the chocolate enrobement. But it turns out that’s tough on your tongue. My kingdom for a non-chocolate covered malted milk ball!
Dang it! I’ve managed to give myself a hankerin’ for chicken fried steak.
Did you know that I’d be the 2nd and third also? 
Happy Friday, everyone.
I thought I better post, because this was slippin’ to the bottom of the page, and you know what happens next - yep you do.
And please don’t shout. I’m a little hungover this morning.
Heck, it’s probably your screensaver by now.
Ashes[sup]2[/sup] did you get caught up in that stampede at the okra display in the A&P yestidday? From what I heard folks was lined up clear round the block to get in when the doors opened. You’d think folks had never had any okra before! I caint believe they had to call in the po-lice, sheriff and then git backup from the national guard jist to calm everbody down! Well, it jist makes me glad I got my okra patch planted so’s I kin have me some fresh okra whenever I want it! By the way, I like how you got Winnie’s hair all teased back up like she likes it. I declare, it looks a good three inches higher than usual. She must be feelin’ awful close to the Lawd today! You should really think about doin’ that for a livin’ sometimes. I mean Ida does a good job with settin’ and stylin’ but you could make yoreself a mint with the final teasin’ and sprayin’. You’d have wimmens lined up pure round the block for that let me tell you! I had a great time swingin’ over at Jose’s and Big Leather Bubba’s last night. It’s a funny lookin’ swing though. You gots to lay flat in it and put yore feet up in these little stirrup like things. The boys put a blindfold on me cause they said it’d help me relax to keep my eyes closed while they swung me. Bless their hearts, they’s so thoughtful! I did get this real funny feelin’ up inside me, like I’s bein’ poked with somethin’ while they wuz swingin’ me though. It was a good feelin’ though. Don’t worry none ‘bout me gettin’ the big head cause of associatin’ with celebreties. They’s jist folks like everbody else in my book! Did Aunt Thedadeale and Uncle Harvey enjoy that tuna casserole? I’m glad to see you thinkin’ bout Uncle Harvey’s heart and arteries and cookin’ light for him. I’m sure he’ll get use to more healthy cookin’ in no time!
-swampbear (I got a hankerin’ for chicken fried steak, smashed taters and gravy, fried okra and biscuits. Wonder why?)
swampy and ashes, lawd, but y’all got some fine maginations! At least I hope so…
sean, you can’t just drop a tintalatin’ comment like that and not spect we ain’t gonna holler “tell, tell!” (Jeebus, now they got me doin’ it!)
There’s gonna be a Fourth of Jooly barbacue here at work today at noon and then they are cuttin’ us loose at 3:00! Whoot!!! I’m gonna meet The Princess[sup]TM[/sup] at chez Target to buy some fancy candles. Then we’re gonna cross the street and order up some fine pizza pies from the parlor over there for supper. (Somebody help me!)
Tupug (I’m really a damn yankee)
I don’t know about Ashes[sup]2[/sup], but I know everyone of those people.
Puggy you live in the most southern of the northern states so, of course, you are a damn yankee.
A mock apple pie is that one made from Ritz crackers, isn’t it?
Has any of you actually had one? I remember the recipe on the box for years, but never had the courage.
<snerk>
Why yes I have. My review of mock apple pie follows:
YUCK!!!
good <snerk> find chaoticdonkey!
Happy Canada Day! Drink some beer in Canada’s honour!
I’m going to goth up for work, and then glower at tourists. It will be busy today and I don’t expect to have to do any real work (real work being defined as anything but being on the cash desk. Checking invoices, data entry, doing shipping returns, anything like that.).
I’ll be the sullen one in all black and knee high Docs. Actually, I have a hard time looking appropriately sullen. I’ll just try for ‘less cheerful’.
Maybe I should stop at Tim Horton’s on the way to work and buy celebratory timbits (doughnut holes) for everyone.
I’ll take some timbits, if you want to swoop down to NJ. Never had a timbit - mostly because the last time I was in Canada, I was young enough that I didn’t have as much of a choice of what I could eat. Hmmm…Canada.
As for me, I’m a slut again today in the skirt-no-hose way. It’s because although we are allowed to wear whatever we want, including shorts, I just feel that my shorts are too short for office-wear. So, I compromise & wear short skirts. Why that makes a difference, I just don’t know. Today’s isn’t as short, so I’m only medium-slut. Slut alert at code Orange.
I leave in about 15 minutes for my NJ flight. I anticipate some good BBQ & good shopping this weekend. Yay!
Susan
s_f have fun! Lissla I will toast Canada with my first beer tonight, just for you, my fav-o-rite Canada type person! I’ll say: “Here’s to Canada and Lissla! They’re alright, Eh?” How’s that?
Lawd o’mighty, y’all is gonna get me to swoon right ‘tchere at work with all those scandolous tales your relatin’. My, oh my, is it gettin’ warm in here.
I did not go see War of the Worlds last night because we were out on the boat. The hubby came home, collected the kids, our neighbor and his two kids, and went out to the lake. He then proceeded to call me numerous times to get me to meet them. I ended up staying a little late at work, but finally agreed to meet them out at the lake. So, I tubed a little and then we came home around 8:00 p.m. Maybe we’ll see the movie tonight…who knows.
Oh, and Swampy, it wasn’t Mr. Tater’s boxers I was wearing, it was his red elephant g-string underwear. If you’re gonna tell on me, get right! Sheesh! 