My brother-in-law and his wife in Russia just had a daughter. So the day after the delivery, my brother-in-law spent the next day running around frantically buying everything: crib, clothes, misc. baby crap.
I asked why he didn’t have all this stuff already and my wife informed me that it’s bad luck to buy anything before the baby is born.
I am guessing that in areas with higher infant mortality, culture demands that you wait to buy stuff until after the baby arrives healthy. But I am wondering if Western countries have a similar superstition? I grew up in the States with images of moms knitting baby clothes while she’s pregnant and dad building an elaborate nursery well before the birth.
I close with something I never thought I would say. I am off to Babies R Us now.
There’s a similar superstition in Judaism, but in American Reform Judaism, it doesn’t end up being quite that hardcore - it just means you don’t see a lot of baby showers.
In the UK people seem often to order things but not have them delivered until after the birth, or very shortly before due date - for the same sort of reason. So, you’ll buy your pram, cot etc but not have it delivered until the last minute. It wasn’t something I’d ever heard of until I was pregnant myself, and I took absolutely no notice of it.
Never heard this superstition in the U.S. Lots of people buy things (at least for a first baby) before the baby is born. And many pregnant mothers have baby showers where they receive gifts for the baby before the baby is born. Some stores used to do special promotions. If you buy something and you have twins, you get a second identical item for free. I doubt they do this any longer since multiple births can be much better detected early now.
Certainly never heard of this in the UK, we’re expecting our second any day now, and for the past couple of months we’ve been deluged with cast-offs and hand-me-downs from all our family and friends with children, as we were before our first was born.
Not to threadjack, but how does that come over in other countries? We think nothing of giving children pre owned clothes (not necessarily throughout Britain, but mostly in the North) since they grow out of them long before they are worn out, but I’ve often wondered whether people in other cultures would turn their noses up at such practices, wanting only the best for their little treasures?
My Nan did get upset when Mum told her she’d bought a pram for my baby quite early in the pregnancy. She said it was bad luck, and that you shouldn’t buy the pram until the baby is born. We’d never heard that superstition before and decided Nan had been on the crazy pills. Everyone I know set up their nursery before the baby was born, and I shudder at the idea of doing a crazed shopping spree between birth and homecoming.
Eh, I had this superstition, and it was my own superstition–and actually I would not call it a superstition, see below, but a preference–not from any religion (although I later learned it was common to various religions and cultures).
For me, it only took two friends over the course of the years, who fixed up the nursery, bought stuff, had everything perfect for the baby’s arrival, and then something happened and the baby did not arrive. So there was that nursery, there was all that stuff.
It was not that I thought that, by buying stuff beforehand, I would jinx the birth. It was that if anything happened, I didn’t want that additional reminder. Didn’t want to have to dismantle that nursery or deal with those little clothes.
I didn’t have a meltdown when people gave me things in advance (except once, privately, for a different reason), but I steered people away from a pre-baby shower. Babies don’t need a lot to start off with. They don’t know the difference between the megabuck pram and the $12 umbrella stroller. All I got beforehand was a car seat and signed up with a diaper service. No need for a crazed shopping spree at all.
My Jewish mother-in-law wouldn’t let my wife and I buy anything for our son before he was born, even though waiting until after was pretty inconvenient. I finally put my foot down and insisted that we at least get a car seat in advance, since we wouldn’t be allowed to take him home from the hospital without one.
Here in my part of the South, there’s a similar superstition, that says you don’t buy anything until you’re at least 6 months along, as it’s bad luck. I’m north of Athens, Ga for anyone who cares.
There’s a large Ultra-Orthodox population in my neighborhood, and they are reproducing at such a rate that everything just seems to be handed down from a huge number of siblings and cousins. Probably not too many baby showers, even if they’re allowed.
I’m in New Zealand and had my baby in a very multicultural part of Auckland.
I got my first gift for the baby when I was three months pregnant - within days of telling people that I was pregnant.
By seven months pregnant, I’d been given about 90 per cent of things I needed from friends and family - mostly second hand.
As you say - they weren’t in any way worn out.
I gave away everything except the most precious (memory not cost) items and they were just as gratefully received at that end.
I do know some mothers who insisted on everything new - it seems more personality than culture.
The indian neighbours were horrified that I’d named the baby before birth (bad luck), but had no trouble with adding to the pile of gifts awaiting her arrival. The local shopkeeper (SE Asian) gave the kid a gift after the birth.
As far as I know this is in fact widespread in Germany - you choose baby goods in the store and arrange to have them reserve them for you. To avoid tempting fate (gloomy buggers that we Germans are).
For much the same reason, if for some reason you cannot throw your birthday party on the actual birthday people much prefer to have it later, or at least not sooner than the evening before.
I hadn’t heard of the custom, it just seemed to be best not to leave yourself lots of reminders around the house should anything go wrong. But then we did have a bit of a scare early on in the pregnancy.
Although I do give a quick :dubious: when I see requests for things for newly borns on Freecycle.
I am not entirely sure how widespread it is but is in my family on both sides (Co. Tyrone and Co. Monaghan). I think it kinda makes sense from the point of view of non-family members especially.
That’s what they do in Russia. It’s tempting fate to set things up for a baby who hasn’t arrived yet. In almost all cases, though, the mom-to-be has definite preferences or a list made available to the husband, mom, mother-in-law, sisters, godparents, etc.–all of whom contribute to setting up the nursery while mom recuperates with baby. When she arrives home, ta-da! Baby is provided for, probably also with plenty of cards, well-wishes, and knowing Russians, enough food to feed a Marine base in the cupboards.
I was the fourth child in the family, I was two-three weeks late being born… and my parents still had not obtained a crib. I slept in a dresser drawer my first week or two after they brought me home.
They weren’t poor, they were experienced parents… I think they were just too busy or maybe something else was going on (Of course, I don’t remember the circumstances).
I wouldn’t say it’s widespread, but I have known a few people who didn’t want to buy much before the birth or at least close to the birth - like others said, they felt like they were ‘tempting fate.’
Trust me, passing on babies’ clothes to friends is very common in the South of England too. Welsh and Scottish friends of mine do it too, for babies and young toddlers, all for the reasons you give.