By Request, Chick Tracts!

The BBQ Pit
41

OpalCat said:

Well, you have to admit that Brian is pretty good at it! :slight_smile:

Tom~: Yes, give or take a Jesuitic distinction or two. Doctrinal definition is “the Real Presence” and the Thomistic concept of transubstantiation is specifically condemned (which doesn’t stop some High Church Episcopalians from believing it). The idea is that you interpret it the way that works for you; the significance of the sacrament is the important part. (Geesh, religious discussion in a thread John C. has already noted has caused no flames…this may be the first thread ever to get thrown out of the Pit as not fitting the rules!! :))

42

andros-
We Catholics also believe that Christ existed before creation. He in fact created creation. He is co-eternal with the Father and the Holy Spirit.

By the way, I had no idea that the Holy Spirit’s name was Casper. I wonder if there’s anything else Father Francis isn’t telling me.

Oh, and to keep this thread from getting thrown out of the Pit: Chick Comics are horrible, bad, they suck. Evil!!! Evil!!! Boo!!! Hiss!!! Down with Jack Chick!!! Down with Jack Chick!!! Burn the heretic!!! Let him be anathema!!!

There. How’s that for a flame?

I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent

43

Oh, I like the bit in the Catholic Church comic where it says that Catholics use a perverted version of the Bible. The fact of the matter is, the Protestants edited seven books of the Bible, plus entire chapters of three or four others. The belief in Purgatory is largely derived from First Maccabees, absent from the Protestant bibles. And, exploring the website a bit, I note the Chick seems to be one of the King James Only set. Interesting, because the KJV is widely regarded by Biblical scholars, Protestant as well as Catholic to be a poor translation. Due to the unavailability of original manuscripts at the time, the translators translated the Latin vulgate back into Greek and Hebrew, then to English, resulting in many distortions. Nothing horrific, but the way Fundys like to nitpick over particular verses, it can lead to serious problems. Also, the seventeenth century word usage was somewhat different from modern English, which can lead to further misunderstandings.

Can’t beat the KJV as a work of lyric poetry, though. Sometimes I haul mine out and read it just because I like the flow and rythm of the language.

I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent

44

Oh, I had been truly blessed by not seeing any of these bile bombs for a while. Yeah, they are funny in a very twisted way. Being doomed, cursed and damned by logic, my first reaction is usually equal parts crogglement and helpless laughter.

But Navigator has it right; this spew from diseased souls can be used to smear other Christians, and the scary part is that some people are so narrow, hate filled and wretched that they honestly believer–and want to believe!–this shit. And yes, I use “shit” precisely; it is the malodorous byproduct left when everything useful has been extracted.

Makes me more determined to be a First Amendment fanatic. Expose this garbage to clean air and sunshine and it’ll disintegrate the way it should.

::shuddering::

Makes me want to take a mental shower.

Veb

45

I read a lot of these. They’re pretty much like the school books I had at the Christian school I went to as a kid.

Did you guys see the gay rights activists in the Doom Town tract? One of them is holding a sign that says “Accept us or DIE!”

And this . . . I don’t even know what to make of this:

WTF??? Are they saying what I *think * they’re saying? I just can’t believe it!!

46

One thing I can’t get over in these things is how easily people are converted to Christianity. Sorry, too lazy to link, but look at the one about the Indian guy who worships demons. This is a great example of what Edward Said terms Orientalism. (I learned something in college!) This Indian guy accepts Jesus in like five minutes, without looking at the Bible, just on the word of some nice white guy who happens to be in India. Wow, those non-us people sure are misguided. Good thing they have wonderful white Christians to show them the right way.

~Kyla

“Anger is what makes America great.”

47

Lissa, yes. It does say what you think it does. I was leaving that sort of stuff out of my post to (the late, unlamented) PitBullDawg, but yeah, Chick T has a very definite anti-Catholic bias that includes a great many direct lies.

Tom~

48

I’m using the first two pages of “Party Girl” on the invitations to my next party.

“Master, we’ve loaded the city with drugs and alcohol!”

“Your music is also ready. We’ve booked the hottest groups in the world!”

“Your warehouses are packed with low-grade condoms. And hundreds of volunteers are ready to give them away.”

“The souls of all these party goers belong to ME–and I don’t intend to lose a single one!”

Dr. J

49

Ok, this is crass, as any of you who are familiar with Space Moose can anticipate.
A Chick tract parody in true Space Moose style: http://www.spacemoose.com/strips/antlers.gif

Sorry I don’t know how to do the linky linky thing-- cut and paste the damn url.

50

LOL I just got a tract in the mail at work. the company I work for also owns a cable company, I help handle the customers bills occasionaly. One came along with a payment. It implies if you procrastinate, you are going to hell. Rather ironic, I thought since I’m sitting here typing replies to the board, rather than doing my bank reconciliations. Ahhh, the smell of fire and brimstone…

If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun.
-Benjamin Franklin

51

Was the payment late?

52

Jack Chick likes to claim his comics are a great evangelizing too. “They get read”, his website says.

Yeah, they get read, alright. Non-Christians who read them (and listen to fundys of Jack Chick’s ilk) get the impression God really hates human beings and is just waiting for us to die so he can roast us on The Great Rotisserie for all eternity. We are basically born damned. (I like the “Little Princess” tract, where an innocent, terminally ill child learns from a Chick Tract a neighbor drops in her halloween bag that she’s damned and going to Hell if she doesn’t accept Jesus.) Anyhoo, the idea I got from the Fundys is that we’re born damned, God really wants to send us to Hell, but Jesus stepped in and said, “No, wait, Dad. Look, I’ll get born as one of them, and suffer and die to pay for their sins, if you’ll let the ones who believe in me into Heaven.” So, God, reluctantly said, “O.K., Son, do what you gotta do.”

So, now, all you have to do to get into Heaven is say the prayer that’s printed on the back of the Chick tract, and, bingo, you’re in no matter how evil you are, but if you don’t say that prayer, you roast no matter how good you are.

Oh, yeah, and you’re supposed to not do anything fun like drink, dance, play cards, or use four-letter words, but it’s ok to hate your neighbor, and you don’t have to do any charitable work, or even give to charity- those are works, and works are no good.

Anyhoo, after getting my impression of what God is like from Fundys as exemplified by Jack Chick, I spent ten years of my life hating God, then I eventually wound up Catholic.

The Catholic Church, contrary to popular belief, teaches that God wants EVERYBODY in Heaven, and provides us with the means to get ourselves there, via Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross, the Sacraments, and, yes, good works. The only way someone can be damned is to make a conscious decision to reject Christ, and even during my worst God-hating years, I thought Jesus was pretty cool, as I imagine most of the Teeming Millions do. It’s RELIGION that most folks have a problem with.

OK, lecture’s over. I’m going to make some soup now.

The trouble with Sir Launcelot is by the time he comes riding up, you’ve already married King Arthur.

53

Oh Monty! ROFLMAO!! As a matter of fact it is indeed 7 days late.

If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun.
-Benjamin Franklin

54

Hey, kids, look what I found!!!
www.netacc.net/%7Emafg/jtchick/jtc01.htm

This website takes you frame by frame through some of Chick’s viler anti-Catholic tracts and gives point-by -point refutations of his lies.

The trouble with Sir Launcelot is by the time he comes riding up, you’ve already married King Arthur.

55

As long as someone in this thread is mocking an idiot, I’m happy.

Lynn
For the Straight Dope

56

I only read the ones on evolution and the one on the girl who got AIDS, both were farging hilarious!!! I have a feeling that the errors in the carbon dating were just mistakes, and i like how they decide that jesus is the binding force in all atoms. They seem to omit that atoms are held together by an immense ammount of energy, making nuclear power possible.

My favorite quote "you have AIDS and you aer going to die, and theres NO CURE!!!

P.S. I work in a grocery store and one couple used to had out leaflets of paper with bible verses on them when I took their stuff out. I havent seen them in awhile, I guess that they got tired of me trowing it away in front of them. OHHHH!! Real compassionate, another peice of crap for me to throw away!!

Life is tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.

57

You all knew I had to weigh in on this one, didn’t you? (I don’t usually scroll all the way to the bottom of the list. I’m glad I did.)

Chick Tracts are a pimple on the beautiful face of comic-book art. It isn’t just the hate-filled, ignorant messages they spew forth that tick me off, it’s also the fact that so many of them of so poorly drawn. The guy couldn’t get work at DC or Marvel, huh? No fucking wonder!

I grew up in Texas. The damned things were everywhere. It was like they were breeding someplace.

I’m not sure we should visit his site any more. As long as he thinks people are reading his shit, he’ll keep publishing them, online and IRL. Let it die for lack of visitors.

Of course, we could also send him some well-thought-out emails pointing out his mistakes and asking him to make changes.

On second thought…

>< DARWIN >
__L___L

58

I just can’t resist this…

A. Jesus binds atoms together.
B. According to hightechburrito, the force that binds atoms together makes Nukes possible.
C. Faith healers use Jesus’ power.

Therefore:

  1. Nuclear weapons are an instrument of Jesus’ love. (“Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition… Hey, it’s the Lord, too! Praise the ammunition!”)
  2. Faith healers should report to the DOE for using nuclear power. (If they take a leak, do they have to warn the public?)

QED

59

Boy John, I really owe you one.

I forwarded the Chick link to my spousal unit who remembers these things from college.

He was extremely delighted and was a little surprised to see you had to pay for them (he’d alwasy been handed them for free)

He said his favorite is the “Sissy” and was busy doctoring them (basically personalizing them for the people he works with) on his PC last time I checked on him.

Personally, I’d wonder about a heaven for people who get converted by these comic books (other comic books, sure I could see that, but these?). At the risk of endangering my soul, I also speculate if the artiste dabbles in creating the nearly naked super-hero female types that seem to be staples of the profession.

–Jif

60

I can’t believe no one has mentioned this one. The one that always stands out to me is “Somebody loves me”. What a thoroughly depressing piece of drivel.

He does misrepresent Christianity, to put it mildly. But the message is short, and powerfull if you’re, how shall I say this, uneducated?