I work with a lot of musician wannabes. The other day we had a good time trotting out all of our old musician jokes.
Here’s my top three:
Winning the bronze
How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?
Put sheet music in fornt of him.
Winning the silver.
What do you call a guitar player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
And the gold goes to
What’s the difference between a Bass player and a large deep dish pizza?
A large deep dish pizza can feed a family of four.
Feel free to add your own
Sorry about any sexism.
Rico
2
What’s the difference between a dead trombone player in the middle of the road and a dead snake in the middle of the road?
The snake was probably on the way to a gig
How can you tell it’s a drummer knocking on your door?
He speeds up.
(sorry, I don’t know how to make a spoiler box yet…)
What do you call a musically challenged guy who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.
I thought you giving instructions on to make a fishbicycle
I really should pay closer attention.
picker
7
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They have machines for that now
Thank you for not putting all 1037 jokes in one post here! 
Reuben
10
::dusts off oldest musician joke in entire world::
<ahem>
Q: What’s the best way to play a bodhran (Irish drum) ?
How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
How do you know when the drum riser is level?
The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth.
What’s the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
A bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.
What’s the definition of a true gentleman?
Someone who can play the Highland pipes, but doesn’t.
You counted all the jokes?! Oh my… then you’re more loopy than I am. I only typed out the jokes, but you’re the one who counted them.
F_X
or… The lead singer
Here’s some more:
http://www.8notes.com/jokes/
Man, that drum machine one was cold, man.
-Jonathan “Guess What I Played First” Chance
Bimble
18
Here’s mine!!
Q. What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A. You only have to punch in the information into a drum machine once.
Q. What do you get if you cross a drummer with a musician?
A. A bassplayer
Q. What do you call a banjo at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A DAMN good idea
Q. How do you know when there’s a drummer at your door?
A. He can’t knock intime and doesn’t come in when you ask him to.
And for any fellow sound enginers out there:
Q. What’s the difference between a sound engineer and a toilet?
A. A toilet only has to take sht from one asshle at a time.
Q. How many sound engineers does it take to change a lighgtbulb?
A. None, you get the tape op to do it…
Angua
19
:dubious: Hmmm… Nothing wrong with the bodhran whatsoever. If nothing else, it certainly improves the mobility of at least one of your wrists.