On the pregnancy and parenting boards I visit, I have been seeing more and more people refer to their young or unborn sons as their “little man”, and I have to say I find something about it really unappealing. Infant girls seem always to be “little princess” or “baby girl”, the former causing me to roll my eyes (especially when the kid is still in utero - why pre-stamp her with a personality type?) but the latter seeming to be a perfectly appropriate term which is why I can’t figure out why it doesn’t seem to be used for boys quite the same. Nobody calls baby girls “little woman” and the occasional “little lady” I see applied to a young girl seems to come off as condescending, yet 99% of boys get referred to as “little man”. Any thoughts on why the double standard?
I don’t know, but I agree that it’s somehow off-putting for reasons I can’t describe.
Cuz we like our males mature and strong and our females eternally young?
Assuming you are pregnant yourself… just wait. I had a talk about nature vs. nurture with an expectant mother about a year ago then again last week (she had a baby boy). Not to toot my own horn, but she pretty much conceded that all of my predictions came true – lots of stereotypical gifts and warnings against clothing and toys that looked ‘too girly,’ compliments on the baby’s strength and ‘charm’… Lots of weird little things that add up. I’m sure a lot of it is just repeating what you’ve heard other people say, as well as not really knowing what to say about a baby in the first place, but certainly noticeable. And sort of pathetic whn the kids is that young.
I have a friend with a two-year-old in the middle of leukemia treatment, including (among many other nasty meds) steroids, making him sort of The Ultimate Terrible Two recently. When she is trying her level best not to take his umpteenth tantrum personally, when he is bawling “MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!!!”, she sweetly responds, “Yes, my Prince?”
It’s tongue in cheek, for her. No idear whether “Little Men” is or isn’t for the parents on your boards.
Didn’t Christopher Walken precede the smuggled watch story with “Little Man”? That’s enough for me right there.
Really don’t know but for me it would be yet another excellent reason not to frequent parenting and baby boards.
Dunno about parents, but in my household we address some of the pets so, in particular Most Imperious Cat Moxie. To us it conveys a stubborn overestimation of one’s self reliance, which is comical in contrast to this creature’s clingy dependence. Think Stewie Griffin. Our vet uses it too. Maybe it’s one of those things that start out tongue in cheek but habitual use turns them into a pet name.
As for a female counterpart, when a baby or small girl is particularly active or rowdy or busy, my mom and sister will both exclaim “she’s a wild woman!” I find it hilarious.
I think Reply nailed it.
We occasionally call our son “little man” (he’s 3) and our daughter “baby girl” (she’s 6). I like “little man”, because it just is cute. He is this little dude, this little guy, stomping around on his sturdy little legs and I can just see what he’ll be like at 22.
And we aren’t particularly traditional in our perception of gender roles - my mom is a dyke - not just a lesbian but a full-on “dyke” as she calls herself - and my husband is a stay at home dad, while my work outside the home supports the family financially.
Much as we have tried not to pigeon-hole the kids into narrow gender roles, we do it and culture does it and I think some level of innate preferences do it. We have fought the good fight but are mostly losing: The girl loves her some pink and butterflies and ballerinas. The boy is truck-train-car-dinosaur obsessed. (But he also loves his babydoll, named Raspberry. I think every boy should have a babydoll to love.)
As for the parenting communities, which I am very familiar with, some of it, beyond the social/cultural stuff might also be born of a desire to hide the child’s name. I use “the boy” mostly or the common abbreviation DS for dear son, but little man is a way to refer to a kid without using a name.
Don’t worry about pre-stamping girls with personality types with cutesy names when they are little. Your girls are going to turn out how you raise them (if you are lucky!), no matter what term of endearment that you use with them. I have called my daughter sweetie, princess, baby, sugar and all that kind of stuff all of her life. Now she is a 17 year old buzz saw (when she feels like it- no one tells her what to do).
Why did I call her those cutesy names while I use less cutesy terms of endearment with my son? Probably cultural influence/expectations paired with her positive response due to cultural influence/expectations.
LIttle Man and Buddy.
Band name! Seriously, you’d think Buddy is the new Jason, so many parents use it as a nickname for their sons. Do parents of little boys shy away from affectionate nicks? Honey, lovey, sweetie, pumpkin, etc? and why?
I have a daughter and use countless silly names at home, but usually refer to her only as my daughter or by name outside the home / online. Still, I’d much rather hear someone say “little man” as opposed to DS (Dear Son). DS, DS, DH all strike me as cloying.
O/T: I also think “ladies” sounds annoying no matter who is saying it. Demetri Martin said “An easy way to sound like a creep is to add the word ‘ladies’ to the end of things you say,” but I find it just as unnerving when women use it to refer to their friends. Maybe that is just because I don’t consider myself a lady 
Cyros, whenever I’ve been called a “lady” by someone, I’ve always responded “How presumptuous of you.” 
There’s definitely a gender divide, but I would say it’s less fair to girls to not be able to be called “Little Women”. Although it’s possible that it is just too reminiscent of the novel title.
As for myself, I was called “the baby” being the first born amongst my father and his siblings, and to this day despite being 34 and the oldest of at least 9 cousins, and the tallest one in the family, I’m still referred to as “the baby” and “little John”.
That, and it used to be common for men to refer to their wives, somewhat condescendingly, as “the little woman.” Whereas wives were more apt to refer to husbands derisively as “my old man,” I think.
Some very good points. I think Reply is really onto something.
Good thought, but definitely not the case for most of the ones I’m thinking of. They’ll have one of those big ol’ tickers, labeled something like “My little man is growing up! Hunter Dakota McCarthy is 6 months 2 weeks 3 days old!” or “My precious princess Avery Makenna is going to be a big sister! Little Man Jakob Leo due in 31 weeks 4 days” with a photo of the kid next to it.
I really do hope I haven’t offended any of you who do this… it’s not like I think it’s eeevil, I just find it odd somehow. I tend to refer to my daughter online as “my daughter” and have never felt the need to cutesify that (which I am sure rubs some people the wrong way too) so I’ve just never really gotten why certain terms seem so prevalent.
Totally WAG: all babies look like little old men, in a way, regardless of gender. Few of them look like stereotypical little old women.
Little man is a common appelation for my 7 year old, and he seems to like it for the most part. When he was younger, I occasionally called him “Midgettry” (ducks), you know, like infantry. A wide variety of terms of endearment are imortant to my wife’s relationship with me, and he’s no different. Never thought it sounded odd.
Yep. Shamus the Maine coon is “Little Man” too.
When my brother was a toddler, my dad called him “Big Guy.” Does that rub people the wrong way too? I’ve always thought that was rather sweet.
We sometimes call our 3-year-old son little man, but that’s generally when he affects this bodybuilder, manly strut. He’ll flex his upper body muscles, his little hands in fists at his waist or higher, and move so his shoulder go forward-back with every step. But the DD, DS, DH, etc. on messageboards kind of makes me ill. I can see why it’s convenient - abbreviations usually are - but knowing that it means “dear” son, husband or whatever irritates me to no end. Usually if I use a nickname for my kid, it’s monkey. Or Stewey.