I’m regretting inviting you to come along with me this weekend.
I thought it would be cool if someone from the lab accompanied me to the conference in CT, especially since I would be giving my first professional talk there and it’s always good to have a cheering section. I thought it would be fun to surround ourselves with scientists in our field, as well as fellow graduate students and potential employers. You know, make some memories together. I thought you were nice, because you ARE nice to me. But boy, I was wrong. You are mean.
First, it was NOT cool that you felt it necessary to slam everyone as they gave their talks. Whispering in my ear as I try to listen to someone is NEVER cool, but it’s even lamer when you’re whispering negative criticisms that may or may not be valid. Giving a talk is tough (as I learned), and fifteen minutes is not a lot of time to explain yourself. You could have given that undergraduate the benefit of the doubt, but no, you had to say her research sucked. Even if it did, so what? You didn’t do undergraduate research because you were too busy getting blasted in college! I thought her talk was pretty good for someone her age. You just didn’t like her because she was a pretty girl from Vassar who you thought was rude because she didn’t make eye contact. Well, not everyone is friendly. That doesn’t make her a dumbass, like you called her. Grow up.
Second, it was NOT cool that you felt too cool to stay for the social. Um, the whole point of conferences is to mix and mingle. Network, that kind of thing. But NOOO. You wanted to go get drunk at a bar and watch television in the hotel room. Like you do every damn night. So much for the thirty bucks you spent for the registration fee. You might as well have stayed home.
I’m downright anti-social but I decided to stick it out. And you know what? I had fun. I got to dance with old guys who not only could dance pretty good (in their drunk, white people way) but who were well-respected scientists. Maybe they won’t remember the nematode chick they did the Electric Slide with, but maybe they will. Will they remember the girl the nematode chick came with? No, because she didn’t come. She wanted to watch TV.
Thirdly, it was NOT cool that you thought the meeting was SOOO disorganized and SOOO bad, as if you are some expert on conferences. No doubt you think you are, but you aren’t. Attending one conference when you were doing your Master’s does not make you an expert. I have attended eight over the past four years. Overall, I thought the meeting was well done. You didn’t have anything nice to say about it.
I know you will not go to the next conference that our advisor announces. You will make up some lame excuse like “I promised my dog I’d take him to the dog park”. But then you wonder why you still don’t have a dissertation topic. Well…maybe if you would go to more meetings, you would have one.
Finally, as you drove me home, it was NOT cool for you to call every other driver on the road “dumbass”. NY/NJ drivers aren’t the best in the world, but they aren’t that bad. And honking your horn and cussing every five minutes is very unbecoming, as well as annoying. Type A personality doesn’t suit you.
So I regret having invited you to the meeting with me. Next time–even if I’m giving a talk–I’ll go by myself, thank you. Negativity brings me down. I’ll still be friendly with you at school, but you have shown me your true colors. Our relationship will never be the same, which is a shame since I thought you were cool before. But how can I be your friend when you’re so mean to other people? How do I know that you don’t call me a dumbass when I’m not around?
Sorry for my nerdy rant, but my weekend was tainted.