Campaign ads hijack lower chords of piano keyboard

Beethoven and Rachmaninoff did some great things with those lengths of sheet wire especially wound with copper, but every four years both political parties hijack the keys at the deep end of the keyboard, and with foot firmly planted on the loud pedal so that no damper shall hamper their exploited resonnance:

(voiceover):
“Herb Schmidlapp approves of feeding schoolchildren turpentine in their school lunches”

(lower chords): “DOOONG!”

(voiceover):
Herb Schmidlapp. Wrong on turpentine. Wrong for America."

And the crazy thing is, some union musician, who as a child dreamed of Arrau and Horowitz, is paid to sit there and put his or her finger down, just so.

Just be grateful to the consultant that was able to convince them that a theremin would be over the top.

Hey, it’s good work if you can get it.

Given that political campaigns these days are about as grounded in reality as any '50s Sci Fi movie, I think a theremin would be highly apropos.

(voiceover):
"Herb Schmidlapp approves of illegal immigration.

(theremin) WooooOOOOOooooeeeeee

(voiceover):
Herb Schmidlapp. Wrong on Martians. Wrong fpr America."

You’d rather a wah-wah mute on a trumpet?

(voiceover):
"Herb Schmidlapp is constantly trying to masturbate. But Herb Schmidlapp can’t even get it up.

(trumpet with mute hat) WAH Wah wahhhhhhhh

(voiceover):
Herb Schmidlapp. Wrong on turgidity. Wrong for America."

==========

Our apologies to Herb.

“Rupert Pupkin believes it is better to be a king for a night than a schmuck for a lifetime, even though President George W Bush has shown us differently so many times.”

<rimshot>

“Rupert Pupkin. Wrong on comedy. Wrong for America.”

Wouldn’t it be fun to hear Three Stooges music or Laurel and Hardy theme played at the end of political commercials? Maybe the theme from Mighty Mouse:

[quote*Here I come to save the day![/quote]

[QUOTE=Zoe]
Wouldn’t it be fun to hear Three Stooges music or Laurel and Hardy theme played at the end of political commercials? Maybe the theme from Mighty Mouse:

Heh. that would be funny as hell.

I’d prefer Loony Tunes music:

Blah blah blah witty blah blah…

“Wrong for duck season. Wrong for wabbit season.”

Charles Bombastian hadn’t been born yet in 1924, but if he had, would he have been the kind of racist, stick-in-the-mud politician who would have tried to close down the jazz clubs?

<Skippity bap de bop de doo bop, oooohhh yeaaaaah!>

You bet he would. Charles Bombastian. Wrong on Satchmo. Wrong for America.

Alternatively, keep the minor cord, and just record the rest of the commercial in Charlie Brown teacher talk:

Wah wah-wah wa-wah wah wah wah-wa-wa.

<Minor chord.>

Wah wah. Wa-wah, wa-wah wah wah.

I mean, let’s face it. That’s all anyone hears when the ads are on anyway.