I Pit Thee: dumb ass marketing commercial assholes!

As most recently seen in the Subway commercial exhibiting morbidly-obese individuals with lethal buttons shooting out of their waists as they sat down, etc. I was most outraged at their vulgar slaughtering of one of history’s greatest classical compositions: Tchaikovsky’s Overture 1812. My, what a way to disrespect a classic that develops and crescendos over a period of 17 minutes to end in an orgasmic culmination of ass-kickery by cutting and splicing the best parts into a Frankenstein composition lasting all of 20 seconds (and tacitly making it about sandwiches). Yeesh, is thee anything that Marketing cannot vulgarize and shit upon? Btw if it wasn’t stereotypically obvious, I’m an engineer, and I see this type of ignorant douchbaggery common at my company…

I like when they guy’s button breaks the coffeepot.

Yeah, but is there anyone over the age of 50 who can hear that overture without thinking “Quaker’s the cereal that’s shot from guns!”. That one’s already been ruined. Running roughshod over the classics is what marketers have done for centuries.

Anyone who uses the phrase “I Pit Thee” shouldn’t go around complaining about other people vulgarizing things.

Goes off the listen to the “Lone Ranger Theme”

But DO people want sandwiches which can play audio?

Dude, the only reason most people recognize any classical music is because they heard it in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

*Oh, Bwunhilda, yowuh so wuvewy!

Yes, I know it. I can’t help it!*

My dad had the Mercury "Living Presence"LP of the 1812 Overture. It featured real canons and a commentary on how the recordings were made. My dad would put that record on and crank the Heathkit all the way up; my brother and I loved it. Our mother was not quite as enthusiastic.

I’m over 50 and I don’t remember that commercial. I do remember when the Lone Ranger broke in on an ad for Lark cigarettes to complain about the use of “his” song, then he gets tapped on the shoulder by the composer. Pretty funny. :smiley:

Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster.

Oh sorry for interrupting. Were you finished informing everyone how cultured you are?

I’m afraid you’re misremembering that commercial, my dear. Gino’s Pizza Rolls was running the Wm. Tell, and they were accosted by a Lark spokesman over the use of the music*. Then Clayton Moore showed up in his domino to remind the cigarette guy that he hardly had the moral high ground. To have inserted Rossini into the spot would have been anti-climactic and confusing to the viewer.

It was a funny spot, though.
*It really would have made more sense for the Lark spokesman to object to the format of running a camera car through the town inviting people to display their boxes of Pizza Rolls. Music choices aside, that really was a ripoff of the Lark gimmick.

Of course, the reason commercial makers use such classical music in the first place is that the copyright has expired, and they don’t have to pay the composer or his heirs anything. Cheap SOB’s.

[Mike Birbiglia] It’s also a camera! [/MB]

Just so long as no one vulgarizes the Bad New Bears theme. Who knew Geogres Bizet was such a Walter Matthau fan?

Thanks to P.D.Q. Bach, I can’t listen to the 1812 overture without thinking of “Pop Goes the Weasel” and “Yankee Doodle”.

And I’ve had it with hearing the ominous, majestic Empire leitmotif just because the defense held 'em on third down.

True, but your cultural ejaculation does not reflect any literary malfeasance by the OP.

I regularly mute commercials for an over-advertised beer that uses George Thorogood’s version of “Who Do You Love”, since I don’t want to think of any company’s slop when I hear a song that I like (or even songs I don’t like). Oddly, marketers don’t seem to be responding to my disdain.

Both the 1812 and William Tell overtures are such great pieces of music that no one can ruin them for me. Same goes for the painting “American Gothic”.

Heh, heh, heh, You said ejaculation, heh, heh, heh, heh.

I’m glad it’s not just me. Curse you, Schickele!

I’m still wondering why the people who made the Go Compare ads (UK) used an operatic figure to sing the tune when the original (“Over There”) is by George M Cohan. It’s not exactly Verdi, folks.

Morbidly obese? Yeah, right.

100% over ideal weight is considered severely, or morbidly, obese.

The actors in the commercials don’t even come close. Hey, if you’re going to pit the commercial, at least make a decent claim for it. You must be a disgrunted Quiznos patron.