Why did you respond by taking it to 11? Your response, to me, is far ruder than any interpretation I could make of her OP. It seems to me that, as she has astutely pointed out in this thread, you’re diverting attention from the fact that you were talking out of your ass.
I think an apology is indeed owed, from you to her.
As you might imagine, there are one or two things you’ve said I’ve found to be unnecessarily rude and offensive. But if you can let bygones be bygones, so can I.
So, here’s the settlement offer: neither side admits liability or fault, and we consider the matter closed. Deal?
But who’ll pay the fees and court costs? :dubious:
Harrumph. I don’t even get pie? grumbles about lowball defense offers
confers with client
client argues vociferously
slaps client with large trout
Ahem. Counsel, we accept your proposal.
You’re a plaintiffs’ lawyer?!?!? Well, that explains a lot… um, I mean…
No prevailing party. As noted by my eminent co-counsel, EddyTeddyFreddy, each side to bear its own costs and fees.
Sign here, please, and notify the court the trial’s off. 
Already filed the petition to have the file sealed.
/signed Oakminster
Hey! Don’t forget to notify the court reporting agency that the discovery depos are off.
Hey! If you two settle does that do away with the class action suit I’ve been assembling? :eek:
Naw, just dig up another lead plaintiff and you’re good to go. At least till you go in before the judge for certification.
No chance. Common questions don’t predominate here. 
objection!!!
Sustained. Defendant’s attorney may make an offer of proof.
Ummm. OK, your honor. Or rather honoress. Madame. If it please the court. Could I see you in chambers?
Sorry, but there’ll be no ex parte communications while this case is being tried.
Oh, no your honor, I understand completely!! If we could just retire to your chambers, this will be strictly parte!
Hey, did I mention how good her honor is looking today? That robe really is you. Has her honor lost some weight?
Is a shitory anything like a satori?
All right, vetbridge, Bricker, sidebar, please. And keep your voices down – I believe some of the jurors heard parts of the last one. You don’t want this case to end in a mistrial, do you?
Court reporter, this will be off the record.
Hey your honor, dear, colleague Bricker is so busy. . . why don’t you and I discuss the case over drinks? 
If we’re having a trial I want my own lawyer.
Campion get your ass back in here, tear these interns a new one.