I love both of these sentences 
How about zombisexuals?
Preservatives are a must.
But what about this study?
As others have before me, I don’t really see where the original question is coming from. As a hetero male, I’m attracted to most females out there. Especially the ones with the boobies.
That doesn’t mean I couldn’t remain monogamous if I wanted to (although at the moment I happen to be monogamous. I just don’t want to 
)
Ooh, all fussy and delicate, are we! No rotting-walking-corpse-fucks for me, Mater, I’m off to play the grand piano!
Talk about fighting ignorance…
Not that I can say I ever gave much thought to what it meant to be bisexual, but I guess I figured it was like being part gay and part straight-- as if there were two personas in the individual. But that’s not it at all. It’s just that gender doesn’t factor into it. That would never have occurred to me, but it seems trivially obvious now that you put it that way.
BTW, and I don’t mean to be too personal here, but I always thought you presented yourself on this MB as a gay man, not a bi man. Was I not paying attention?
ETA: Ugh. I zombie thread. I didn’t even notice.
Not if it’s a bisexual built for two.
Lucky Pierre? Is that you?
For me, I definitely notice gender, and am attracted to very different things in men and women. I wouldn’t consider two different personas, though. What Miller said is no doubt true for himself and many others, though. Sexuality and attraction is rarely simple, and simple generalisations about it will often be wrong.
Back to the OP, I don’t think bisexuality has any effect on happiness or otherwise with monogamy. This is mainly because, in my opinion, a successful monogamous relationship is less about sex, although that’s important, and more about companionship in the long term.
I also think monogamy is a valid option, and when I’m in a relationship I’m almost always monogamous, but it shouldn’t be viewed as an ideal. I could be quite content in a relationship with someone who was sleeping with other people, as long as they were honest about it.
So, just out of interest, how many bisexual and lesbian women have you talked to about this to get their views in what they see in women? (I do love it when people make sweeping statements, particularly about experiences they’ve never had.) Also, if attraction isn’t the basis of sexuality, what would you say is?
You might be able to make it more cohesive and well arranged, but your basic premise would still be wrong since bisexual men and women do exist, despite your view that this isn’t the case.
Claiming bisexuality as a stepping stone to accepting homosexuality has always cracked me up as an idea.
Not only is it pretty ridiculous on the face of it…I’ve ‘seen it happen’ twice.
Both of the young women in question, within a year, had changed back to ‘oh, nope, I do like guys after all’. (I think it’s also telling that I’ve only known a handful of bisexuals with a preference for polyamory, and those two were two of them.)
No worries. I use “gay” as a catch-all term for anyone whose attraction includes their own gender: bisexuals are gay, lesbians are gay, gay men are gay. I realize this usage is kind of idiosyncratic and potentially confusing, but I really don’t care for the term “bisexual,” for a variety of mostly petty reasons that have nothing to do with this thread, and there aren’t really many good replacements for it.
Usually, when asked flat out what I identify as, I go with queer, but that has its own associated issues.
::shrugs:: I’ve only known one guy who said he was bi when he first came out a decade ago. Now he says he’s exclusively gay.
The answer to the title of this thread is: yes, they can be. I’ve seen it happen.
The answer to the implied question of “is it harder for a bisexual…” is, I think, more complex. Sexuality is a broad spectrum, and there’s tons of variation. I wouldn’t be surprised to find, however, that bisexuals are less inclined towards strict monogamy (or find themselves more frustrated by it).
People who are genuinely “emotionally” bisexual (as opposed to just physically attracted to both genders) might be the most frustrated, because there can be genuine differences in intimate affection between genders, and it can be harder if both aren’t being fulfilled.
This may be a controversial statement, but my experience is that a lot of bisexual people have a harder-than-average time building very close platonic relationships simply because attraction complicates things. In such a case, the “monogamy” might not really be the problem, but a broader lack of intimacy may make monogamy an easy scapegoat.
a lot of bisexuals are serial monogamists.
it takes a separate orientation to be polyamorous.
No, my view is that these folks who “exist” aren’t truly bisexual. It would take a dissertation to fully explain my views. And I completely respect the views of others here. And it’s only an academic idea.
I believe there is strong enough evidence, albeit largely anecdotal, to buttress the contention that no human being is truly ‘heterosexual’ (by strict definition; without deviance in any form), at least with respect to one’s innermost desires; irrespective of how conservative a facade one may project. That is to say, no person is aroused exclusively by heterosexual titillation and all humans are sexual beings that cannot deny their desires to be satisfied on this level.
Establishing that, no monogamous relationship, hetero, bi or gay could therefore be wholly satisfying for the entirety of its duration.
I think it comes down to simple ‘mechanics’ in the end. When you have only one set of ‘tools’ to work with, you’re limited as to what you can fashion in a sexual relationship – e.g., there’s only so many ways a penis can go into a vagina before one has ‘seen it all before’ and relies solely on endorphins for incentive. Introducing a second, different set of components into the equation increases the permutations considerably.
Then, of course, you have secondary factors relating to spontaneity, diversity, mutual attraction and how it waxes / wanes with time, the affect of the restrictive nature of life-long commitment to one solitary sexual mate, individual inhibitions / hang-ups… et cetera.
Given these assertions, I would infer that the the closets a monogamous sexual relationship could come to be bone fide ‘satisfying’ is between a male and a post-operative MTF transsexual (based on the respective physical mechanics, the ‘anal versus vagina’ factor and the presumably closer sexual affinity of such a combination as distinct from the near opposing forces of male-female sexual desire). An honorable second place goes to a lesbian sexual relationship.
/2¢ worth
Well, you’re wrong. But you’re wrong in a common way, if that helps. If you define “bisexual” as “having exactly the same type and degree of attraction to both sexes” you’d might be right in asserting that it’s very rare. Even then, it exists.
But that’s not how bisexuality works. Bisexual means somebody who desires intimate relationships with both genders. Bisexual people are, generally speaking, very aware of differences between genders and sexes and will have varying degrees of attraction to different combinations thereof. Oftentimes, bisexual people will be principally attracted to a personality type and not concerned with gender. There are also people who have a stronger sexual attraction to one genre and a stronger romantic attraction to another.
People are varied – if you want your worldview to represent the world, this fact needs to be baked in from the core.
Are you a mind reader? Because otherwise I’m not sure how you can presume to know what someone’s “true” orientation is better than they do?
Someone says that their attracted to both men and women, and you say “Nope, you’re kidding yourself.” This despite the fact that you have no way of actually knowing who they’re attracted to. Isn’t it obvious why people would be offended by this?