Outside Opinion: Bisexuality

In My Humble Opinion
1

Over the last few months I have been trying to reasses my life. One of the tenants of who I am is that I am bisexual. Thats right, I like boys AND girls. I know for fact there are lots of other bisexuals in the world. I am married to one, dating another, and slept with quite a few others both male and female.

So my question is this: What is your opinion on bisexuality? What do gay/lesbian people think of bisexuals? Straights? Christians?

Are bisexual people confused, or is there something deeper?Should we follow what George Carlin says and “Pick a fucking hole!”

A bit about me: I am a 2 on the Kinsey Scale. I have had sex with 4 men, and 61 women. All four men were friends first, and two I am still friends with today (although I haven’t had sex with any of them in a while). I am married, with no children and in an open relationship.

Comments?

2

Straight Unitarian chiming in here: If you are open and honest in your personal relationships, I really don’t give a rip who you boink.

3

Straight atheist. Do whatever you enjoy, be safe, and have fun.

4

Some, both gay and straight, would have bisexuals “get off the fence and pick a side, dammit!” I say, “What fence?”

I think one main reason why many ppl. (gay and straight) have a problems with bisexuals is that they need to classify others as one or the other, they want to “know where they stand”. “Not knowing” seems to make them feel insecure. I hear them them loud and clear, but I’ve a hard time seeing the problem:\ Same sex or opposite sex is not a problem, but either sex is? I don’t quite get it…

Me: currently in a “closed” relationship, don’t know about any scales and don’t have a list of how many men and women I’ve slept with, but I’ve done both:)

5

I’m a mostly straight (I think – see later) agnostic checking in. My opinion is pretty much the same as Qadgop’s. If you and your partner(s) have agreed to be honest with each other and have an open relationship, then it’s really no one else’s concern.

On the Kinsey scale, I think I probably rate a 1. I think I prefer women; at least, the only people I ever felt love for romantically have been women. When I fantasize, it’s most often with women. However, I do fantasize about men on occassion, and I think I’ve had a very mild crush on a few guys before. I find myself re-evaluating how I stand in the grand scheme of human sexuality quite often.

6

We’re not confused, it’s those silly monosexuals that are confused. Unfortunately, there does seem to be a trend toward regarding bisexual people as delusional - we’re “really gay” and just trying fit with the straights, or we’ve got some sort of internal homophobia that won’t let us just be gay, or we’re straight and trying to pretend so that people will find us interesting… I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. Luckily one doesn’t actually have to get one’s love life approved by the general populace anymore, various legal anachronisms notwithstanding. While I’m not trying to discourage other people from responding, my advice to you, in general, is to not care what other people think, unless of course they want to sleep with you - in that case, they do get some minor input in your choice of sexual partners. of course.

7

A quick Google-search found me the scale:) If anyone else is interested, find it here:

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html

I guess I’d be a 2-2.5 or so, in practise anyway. Not so much, I think, because I prefer the opposite sex over my own, but IRL members of the opposite sex are generally easier to hook up with than members of one’s own. (Unless you spend more time than most hanging out with ppl. from the GLBT community.) Most ppl. you meet in a work situation e.g, will assume you are straight until told or shown otherwise.

8

Quite often in fact. I think what it boils down to with me is the fact that I wanted to make sure that when I was looking for the right person to spend my life with, that I didn’t knock off half the population based on their genitals.

Am I delusional? No. Am I really gay? No. Do I think my bisexuality is interesting? Yes, but that is not why I am bisexual.

I do care what people think in relation to their own worldview. If someone is ignorant, then I think I can help fight that ignorance with my knowledge and lifestyle.

Which brings up another question. Is it a lifestyle (the word so often discounted by the gay and lesbian community) or is it a part of life to be bisexual?

9

A part of life. I didn’t choose to be bisexual the way I might choose to become a vegan, or a trekkie, or religious.

10

Hm I’m bisexual and I’m not confused at all, though I am tired of some of the misconceptions I’ve come across (or maybe some people are just idiots).

I can’t speak for everyone, but to those that are truly confused about bisexuals:

~We like men. We like women, some like men a little more, some like women a little more.

~Just because we like our own gender, does not mean we have no standards and will screw everyone.

~Have I hit on you before, my straight friend? If not, why worry that I’ll suddenly start coming on to you now that you know of my sexual preference?

~It is very possible to be loyal to ONE person, thank you. Do not take my SO aside and warn them that because I’m bi, I will cheat.

That last one is a pet peeve of mine. I’m single now, and I’m also tired of potential partners being scared of my bi-ness. Why does liking women suddenly make me disloyal and untrustworthy?

11

I have a problem with some bisexuals. Now hear me out before you hit that reply button!

  1. Yes of course bisexuals exist. Its foolish to pretend otherwise, with so much evidence against you.

  2. Some gay people have a twig up their ass (in a bad way) about the whole thing, because in my experience it gives people the chance to…

  3. Claim everyone is bi. I’ve seen a lot of bifolk do this shit and it drives me nuts! You’re bi? Peachy keen! Wonderful! Don’t assume everyone is like you. Otherwise you’re absolutely no better than those on both sides who claim you don’t exist. Many people are straight. Some people are bisexual. Some other people are gay. Adjust to the fact that a spectrum includes the extremes, and sexuality is not a bell curve.

On those terms, I got no problems with y’all.

FYI: I’m a Kinsey 5, functionally bi, but I know a lot of folks who aren’t. So just knock the propaganda off.

12

Kinsey 6 reporting in here. Only problem I have with bisexuals is the trend factor (“My name is Alyssa! I’m a hot, blonde bisexual co-ed!” Shut the fuck up.) and like Priam said, the whole “You can’t choose until you’ve tried both sides!” What? Yes, I can. Shut the fuck up.

But that’s with everyone, I think. There are going to be those effed up people who think what they are/feel/do is the same for everyone. When it comes to actual bisexuals, those who are just as much bi as I am gay, nah, no problem at all. Do what you want, when you want, with whoever you want. In the words of the great Hugh Hefner “Why do I give a damn about what you do in your bedroom? Unless you’re doing it with my wife.”

:smiley:

13

Another Kinsey 6. Some of my best lovers have been bisexual. That is all.

14

Gay male chiming in here with some blunt honesty.

Keep in mind that this is my opinion, based on my experiences, and not backed up by any statistics or objective criteria. It is, in other words, a prejudice.

I know bi people exist; I’ve had sex with some of them. I completely believe that people can be attracted to both sexes. I believe that they can be faithful in a monogamous relationship. I don’t think that being bi makes you promiscuous, or flighty.

But…

I’d think twice about having a serious, long-term relationship with a man who identified as bi. I wouldn’t rule it out altogether, but it would count as a strike against him in my book.

Why? I think it boils down to insecurity on my part, but let me explain. Think of it as a scale. On the one side, there’s me. On the other side, there’s a Woman Who Is Yet To Be Identified. There’s also kids. A legal marriage, and all that goes with that. Walking hand in hand in public, without a single worry about safety. A better chance at parental approval. A life that falls comfortably within the bounds of societal convention.

And on the other side of the scale, it’s still just me. Now, maybe I can love him better than the WWIYTBI. Maybe I can make him happier than he’s ever been. But, to my way of thinking, I don’t have much of a chance when competing against the WWIYTBI, plus all of the attendant advantages of heterosexual life. I just don’t feel like I can compete with that. It feels like an enormous amount of pressure; I don’t just have to keep him happier than he would be with someone else, I have to keep him happier than he would be if he was in a heterosexual relationship, with all the societal trimmings.

I’d have a hard time believing that, no matter how good we were together, he’d eventually wind up in a straight relationship. There’s a lot of crap to put up with if you’re gay in these here parts. I can’t imagine anyone dealing with all of it, permanently, if they had other options.

15

No. Don’t let The Man hold you down. Unless you’re into that sort of thing…

16

As far as I can tell, bisexuals have the best of both worlds. Keep on doin’ your thang.

17

Straight guy.
Like 1.3 on Kinsey I think.

I have a lesbian friend who hates “boyfriend” bisexuals. Its the, “I’ll say I’m bisexual if a guy will like be better for it.” After having met some of these females, I tend to agree with her.

I could care less if a friend is whatever sexuality. I would only date a bisexual woman if she would let me watch… {Oh come on… like any straight man REALLY doesn’t want a bisexual woman. Otherwise he’s just fronting or bsong himself (and I mean that with a wink and a nudge to the men that are fronting and/or bsing)}

I’d say to the OP: Find our who you are and be happy. Like the Great Sage of Our Time: Vanilla Ice said: “If yo ain’t tru 2 yerself, yo ain’t tru 2 nobodee. Werd 2 yo mutha.”

18

Among my friends, being entirely, 100% straight is generally something that people feel the need to apologize for, as if members of the same gender are some type of music or food that everyone else has the ability to appreciate. (Not that anyone thinks it actually requires an apology, of course…) As an ex-boyfriend once said, “I just don’t find men at all appealing for some reason, I don’t know why. Maybe it was some sort of childhood trauma or something.”
:smiley:

If you dig men and women, then for God’s sake do whatever seems appropriate. I don’t see any reason to just “pick a gender”, unless you’re actually having trouble dealing with it. And unless you’re also willing to stop the open marriage thing and live an entirely vanilla existence, it’s not going to suddenly make you more socially acceptable to the people who now find you unacceptable.

FTR, I’m a Unitarian. And my sexual orientation…
Well, girls are pretty. But boys are much, MUCH prettier. Especially when they look a bit like girls. So take what you will from that.

19

Hey, if you’re not fucking me or my husband, I have zero interest in your sex life. That goes for bisexuals nearly as much as it does for friends who want to make me sexual confidants.

I don’t think bisexuals are confused, they just have wider parameters of what turns them on than gays or straights do. Women just don’t turn me on, but I can understand why they would turn other people on.* Since I can understand why someone would be turned on by women, and I have firsthand experience of why someone would be turned on by men, it makes perfect sense that some people with more eclectic tastes in bodies than I have would be turned on by both.

*I can appreciate the nude female form in a way that’s not quite purely aesthetic, but not really sexual. It’s like seeing a fully restored, cherry-red '67 Corvette. I can look at it and think, “Damn, that’s a nice car!” Still, no matter how awesome I think the 'vette is, I have absolutely zero desire to actually drive it or anything. Replace car with tits, and drive with touch/fondle/kiss/fuck, and you’ve got my view of women’s bodies.

20

As I’ve made clear before, I’m exactly the kind of person Priam hates. I can’t help it, but I will try to keep quiet about it.

I haven’t really had any bad experiences from either straight or gay people, but it’s not like I’m going around with a badge saying BI, and I’m in a long-term relationship with a woman, so no-one notices. I’m planning to march in a Gay Pride parade with Pricegal; I’ll have to see everyone’s reactions then.