My son, Darth Nader is being married this Saturday to a woman whose family does not speak English and most of her relatives still live in Mexico. (Her parents do not speak English although they live in this country) I need to know what to expect. I have not met any of her family, even her parents. So far, the only thing I know they are doing is planning a big party for after the wedding ceremony (a small civil ceremony with a JP). So far my son has had to pay for everything, even her dress. Is this usual? I think the party will be in Mexico, so I will probably not be able to attend, since I have no inclination to drive into Mexico on a Saturday night by myself. There have not been any invitations or showers, the typical things I expect. The happy couple will send out announcements after the wedding to our family and friends in this country.
What am I missing? Is this the typical Mexican wedding?
I had a big party after the ceremony too, I called it a ‘reception’.
What is atypical about this wedding that you seem to think it’s “Mexican” in nature? 
A traditional Mexican wedding is a ceremony at a church followed by a reception with lots of food and dancing. If you do a google search on wedding + traditions + Mexico, you can find out a lot about traditions. To my not-Hispanic mind, it sounds more as if your son and daughter-in-law are tailoring their wedding to their lives rather than adhering to traditions that may not mean anything to them.
Why do you need to know what to expect if you can’t attend? And why can’t you ask your kids these questions?
This sounds typical of a wedding where people aren’t real close with their families. Please don’t be offended, we have plenty of weddings like that in my family, so I speak from some experience.
Trying to put myself in her family’s shoes, I think they’d be pretty much at a loss for how to reach out to you. But if you can go, it will almost certainly be a warm, friendly and memorable occasion.
By “drive into Mexico” I assume you and they both live close to the border, so the drive is not terribly far? Do you have a friend who would go with you, either by car or bus? Often there is direct bus service from US to Mexican cities, but it wouldn’t be widely advertised outside the Hispanic community.
A cross-cultural marriage is always a challenge, and family support can be really key. I encourage you to embrace the adventure, get to know her parents, relatives and friends, and do what you can to enable the marriage’s success. Although her family may not speak English, in my experience there are usually a few family members who speak a little, at least enough to make small talk and introductions.
As far as him paying for everything, that may have more to do with the relative economies of Mexico and the US. If she wants a nice dress from a department store in the states, for her family to pay for it in pesos might just be prohibitive. Her family will probably show their generosity and hospitality in other ways.
I got married just over three years ago to a Mexican woman who speaks no English, all of her relatives are in Mexico, and none of her family speaks English fluently.
In this case, my wife was still living in Mexico when my work brought me back here, while she awaited her visa. Because of the visa requirements, we decided to get married up here (well, were forced to, kind of). So I paid for all of the wedding and the reception. But, my wife’s family paid for her dress and all the ecoutrements.
Her parents and some brothers and sisters made it here for the wedding, and of course language was a little bit of an issue among them, but friendship works above language, and they got along fabulously. They even discovered on thier own who my “good” relatives are versus the “bad” ones (I only use those as relative comparisons, no one’s really “bad”).
I’ve gone to three Mexican weddings now (mine doesn’t count), and really they’re about the same as Catholic weddings here. Long-winded priest, kiss the bride, and take off to the reception hall or an open place with canopies. I can’t speak for all Mexican weddings of course, 'cos I’m sure money has a lot to do with the type of service and what you can afford. My parents-in-law renewed their vows, and they’re loaded, and of course the reception was super elegant in a fancy place. One of my wife’s friend’s wedding, though, was a lot more scaled back, the bride and groom being “merely” middle class (well, the parents-in-law, too, but they’re obviously older and have more).
As for how the family will treat you, they’ll probably be super generous. Try to appreciate things down there, even if you don’t like certain things.