Can anyone help me integrate two differing groups of people?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I turn again to the wide realm of knowledge and experience offered by the SMDB…

During my life (all of 19 yrs) I’ve managed to build up, if you will, two different ‘groups’ of friends. They’re both large (each a 20+ affair). But they are also seperate affairs.

And you know the way a bunch of people friendly for a long time are: they have their in-jokes and their favourite games, nicknames and meeting places etc etc. And, of course, they know each other really well.

I’m the ‘link’ between these two groups. Rarely, if ever, does anyone else from one group cross paths with someone from the other, and when they do, it’s because of me.

Now, I’ve got an oppurtunity to have a great big blowout of a party. But only one oppurtunity. So, obviously, I’d like to invite all my friends. But I’ve seen situations like this before - sometimes something just doesn’t click for some reason or other, and the two (or more) groups just sort of split off into seperate ‘areas of party’ and do their own thing. It can really stifle the atmosphere.

So does anyone have any bright ideas as to what might make it easier for these people to become friendly, even if only for one night? Quite a few have tastes/lifestyle things in common, and many have a sense of humour I recognize as existing in both groups, as it is similar to mine. But it’s hard to get the people themselves to notice these things. Especially when their own ‘original’ friends are around as well as ‘these strange new people’ - it’s easier for them to just fall back on the familiar.

And all the same, I do notice marked differences between the groups as well.

So… suggestions from you bright sparks?

2

Naked Twister is always a great way to integrate people that have just met.

Seriously, you don’t mention what kind of party this will be (birthday, farewell, or just because). What kind of setting (apartment, park, beach, house)? A private swimming pool is another great icebreaker. Since you’d only have one pool, there’s no choice but for everyone to hang out in the same area, provided most of the rest of your house isn’t also a party area.

3

Booze. Lots and lots of Booze.

4

I second booze, as it will require people to mix if only to refill their glasses.

If there are people in both groups who would get along, why not make a concerted effort to bring them together? “Hey, have you ever met X…?” “Come over here, we’re talking about [insert interest here].” There’s no garantee these would take, but you could give them a shot.

5

Weird as hell scavenger hunt. Hide various bizarre things around the party area. The one rule of the game: You have to be partners with someone you don’t usually hang out with. Another twist to this is to have a bizarre personal trivia game, where people match up and ask each other questions. First team done in both situations gets a prize – even if it’s only a plastic spider ring. [GLURGE] But everybody gets the gift of FRIENDSHIP. [/GLURGE]

Sarah

6

Scavenger hunt, well, sort of.

Since you know something about each of these people you could create a series of questions; Such as;

Who once lived in Alaska?

Who threw up in church at 5 yrs?

And so on and so forth, each question for a different person.

Now you offer some kind of cool door prize to whoever completes it correctly first.

Of course, you can make the questions as probing or funny as you wish, Here’s your opportunity to reveal things you wish they knew about each other. You can also set up the best story tellers to tell their best tales. Remember now you’re trying to make them all feel at ease and take into account that some people are shy.

Print the questions on one page, give everyone a sheet and a pencil, on arrival, open the bar and let them have at it.

They will be forced to meet all the different people to complete the thing.

Sure, some won’t participate, there’s always a few, but as long as there is a couple of live wires and the bars open it should get rolling along of it’s own accord.

Keeping them pent up in a small place initially will help, say the bar area? And you don’t have to tell them what the prize is if you don’t think it will excite them, keep that a secret and just keep alluding to how cool it is.

I didn’t invent this game, but I’ve seen it used to great advantage to achieve exactly what you’re looking for, too bad I don’t remember what they called it.

Hope it helps!

7

It sounds old-fashioned, a little, but there are loads of icebreaker games for parties you could try. Hit the library and find some party books, and my advice is to select the silliest game you can find. Even if people choose not to actively play, you’re setting the stage for some laughter - ALWAYS a real icebreaker. Since you’re the group link, and both groups presumably know you well, be loose and let some of the laughter be at your expense.

The “personal scavenger hunt” would be fun, but some might object to ANY personal info being shared without their express permission.

8

Great effort and I commend you for taking it on. If it seems overwhelming, you might try only tackling part of it at this during this one party. For example, make it your objective to bring together just the jocks from both groups, or just the musicians or whatever. Once close relationships break out in parts of both groups, maybe that will pull the two groups together more as a whole.

9

I have had great luck at adult parties with children’s party games. Pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel or blind man’s bluff can be very funny after a couple of drinks and once there was a game of musical chairs that got quite out of control and provided a great deal of laughter. Hit the local adult store for silly prizes, nothing too offensive, chocolate body paint etc, silly key rings and so on and have an hour or so of silliness before turning up the music and dancing.

10

My two cents - nametags and some type of icebreakers that force people to mingle (cause they do tend not to left on their own). Just some food for thought - the people in the two groups may appreciate getting to know some new people - more dating possibilities, etc.

11

Thanks all! Excellent advice and I am taking it all on board! Now, excuse me, I have to go and spend a lot of money on grog.

Not that I mind.
Thanks again!

12

Hmmm…, at first I thought this might be an age difference in perspective, but when I reflect a bit more I don’t think so.

I’d skip the “activities” and concentrate on making introductions and starting conversations. You know all these folks, right? And the aggregate group is ~40 people and you’re the dedicated host.

I first thought of an age difference in perspective because I’m 50. But then I thought about the fact that my environment has been invaded by college students, with whom I’ve done a fair bit of partying the last year and a half. The last kegger here involved two distinct groups (UST students and a group who weren’t but had all known each other in HS).

Constant moving back and forth got them all interacting. Think of how the make those swirly fudges. You know, drag the knife back and forth through the mix.

13

A while ago I went to a literary lunch for Anthony Bourdain. We were sat at tables of 10 with food and wine provided. I was on my own and arrived early. When the next couple arrived I introduced myself and had a chat with them. As more people arrived I shook hands introduced everyone around, cracked a few jokes. As the event got underway it was obvious that we weren’t like the other tables - we were chatty and boisterous and laughing together like we’d known each other for years. When lunch finished all the other tables filed out to line up to get books autographed. We kept on drinking the left over wine from other tables while people would go and get an autograph then come back. Our table didn’t leave until the function manager of the hotel asked us to go so they could close up the function room. Eight of us then went out drinking and clubbing. The last of us broke up about 10 o’clock that night. This was a group of strangers from early 20’s to late 50’s.

It’s easy to strike up fun like this. I’ve done it often with strangers at concerts and shows. Get a bunch of people sitting around a table eating and drinking, make sure the introductions are done and if they just sit there and start talking after 10 minutes nature will take over. That’s how I’d do it - split them into groups of say 6 to 8. Everyone in the group knows some of the group and should feel comfortable.

14

Thanks don’t ask and Ringo - the fudge was a good and actually helpful image by the way Ringo!

:slight_smile:

15

Give them a common enemy. It works every time.

16

lol Ranchoth

Hmm…thats so crazy it just might work!

17

That’s a great story, Don’t Ask. Get in people’s faces, Gmork - drag them by the arm away from their comfort zone and make them talk to new people. Left to their own, people will clump up in their usual groups and not talk to anyone new all night.

18

I agree with what everyone else says, but I will mention that activities only work with the people in the right frame of mind, but you know these people so you’ll be able to pick something that they’re up for.

I’d also suggest enlisting some help. Since you’ll have good friends in the group you can ask them to help mix it up, either by getting them to set an example or by getting them to do the same as has been suggested above.

I’m sure if you explain to people why they’d be more open to going and talking to someone.

SD