I’ve got a little bit of a problem, and it’s one that’s been around for a while. I have 4 or 5 distinct groups of friends, with very little overlap between any of the groups. And unfortunately, they don’t really have any common interests (other than hanging out with me, but I am a full-on party animal, if I may say so). I like things this way; I hang out with the different groups for different reasons, and I do different things with each. In and of itself, this is not a bad situation.
The problem arises when I decide to have parties. I very much like having loads of people around me, and I usually do my best to invite everyone I think will have an even remotely good time. Super host that I am, I can’t be around all the groups at the same time. Thus, there is little to no interaction between the groups, and I sort of feel like I’m cheating the people I invite because I’m not talking with them.
It’s not too bad when there are big enough groups who know each other; they can generally keep themselves entertained if I’m not there. But if there people there who only know me and didn’t bring anyone else, well, they just sorta sit there. And spending most of the night with them kinda defeats the purpose of having the party in the first place.
So, Dopers, anyone else out there have/have dealt with this situation? Any helpful tips for Flyp?
Sounds to me like the problem is with your friends and not with you. You seem to get along well with everybody, right? Your friends need to get off the wall and interact with each other a bit. I think that if they did, they may find they have more in common than just you…
Guilt is a demanding mistress. I’ve been in the situation you describe and felt guilty. I’ve also been on the other end, where I go to a party and only know one or two people and feel guilty because I don’t want them to think they have to entertain me.
Brain lube: Beer. Lots and lots of beer. Make everyone shoot a couple as they walk in the door. Make mandatory keg visits for all your guests. Make everyone take a number and have one of those “Now Serving __” signs over the keg. Everyone will get along just fine.
Passing a joint around also helps make everyone comfortable… Well, if that’s their bag, baby…
Maybe you need to have a party geared specifically to all of your friends getting to know each other.
Play games that force them to team up with people they don’t know. There are plenty of games geared to “Getting to know others.” Possibly a scavenger hunt or road rally? That would force them into a car together. Have them all meet back at your place for prizes, drinks and a BBQ?
Or have five consecutive dinner parties. Invite one friend from each group each night.
If all else fails…add copious amounts of alcohol and stir.
Well, here’s what I do when I’m trying to blend a couple of groups of friends:
Get the most outgoing & social people from each group(let’s call 'em groups A & B, and people A1,B1) together with you somewhere- lunch, drinks, ball game, etc… and hope they hit it off. This is probably the hardest part.
When you do something with group A, invite B1 to come along. This way, when they show up, they’ll know you AND A1. Hopefully they’ll hang out with you AND A1, and get to know several other people in group A through you and A1.
Ask A1 to come do something with you and group B. Same idea as step 2.
Have your party. Hopefully A1 & B1 will circulate & introduce each other’s groups along with your help.
Keep doing this until groups A & B are calling each other up to do stuff without you having to act as the go-between.
Personally, I think the biggest hurdle to overcome is the reluctance of guests just walk up & stick yourself into someone else’s conversation. By mixing up the people on a smaller scale- 3-4 people, you avoid a lot of that, since there won’t be two groups.
Now if these people are jerks or antisocial weirdos, then all bets are off!
Something active is fun. I’ve been to a few sledding parties that really mixed it up. (I should explain that the tequila consumed before was strickly for “warmth.”)
Then again, I’ve been to a number of parties were I don’t know anyone, and I always introduce myself and circulate. ::shrug::
