I originally emailed this to Cecil and his staff and got an email reply as follows:
While going through the trials and tribulations of potty training my daughter, I idly tried to imagine what would happen if I just gave up and let her figure it out for herself. I couldn’t decide wether she would, indeed,
catch on without my assistance or wether she would spend the rest of her life in diapers and, when she grew larger, Depends. It occurred to me that someone, somewhere, must have actually not potty trained their children, so I
wonder: can people potty train themselves without assistance? Does anyone know?
I don’t know if there have been any experiments on this (ugh!), but logic implies that sooner or later, people can (and did) potty train themselves. It may be much later, that’s all. By the time a kid is ten, I would imagine he
could potty-train himself unless there were some medical problem.
Cecil gets dozens (sometimes hundreds) of questions each week, and can only address one in his column. It’s hard to predict what, from that massive pile, will attract Cecil’s attention. As an option, you might go to our website at ww.straightdope.com and post your question on the Message Boards there. Some of the Teeming Millions may give you their insights and opinions. We can’t vouch for the accuracy of answers you get, but we do have some amazing experts who frequent our site. Might spark an interesting discussion, anyway.
Thanks for writing.
CKDextHavn
Straight Dope Staff
So…anyone out there want to help me with this one?
Assuming no physical problems, a child will at some point reach a stage where s/he can voluntarily control the bladder and anus. In that sense you can toilet train yourself. However, a child will certainly need a role model or teacher to explain what to do when the feeling strikes.
Given the stubbornnes my first-born exhibited, I’m convinced that all children toilet-train themselves.
I will concur with kunilou that one can attain control over one’s bodily functions without assistance. My oldest adamantly refused to have anything to do with the potty or the toilet. By her third birthday she was in the habit of spending most of her day naked (it was August; she liked to play in the water) and simply requesting a diaper when needed. I finally forced the issue by announcing that we had no more diapers and giving her the choice of using the potty/toilet or the floor. She chose wisely.
When she was younger I didn’t want to pressure her. I would suggest that she try the potty, but didn’t press the issue when she clearly refused. So she did, on her own, learn how to control her body. And I guess she was also “trained” in the sense that she had a specific place she chose to go. But would she have eventually chosen to switch to the pottyon her own? Or would she have happily continued to use diapers indefinitely, or until social pressures became more serious? Without social pressure, what might she have done? I admit, I have no idea.
Mentally retarded children have to be strongly encouraged to be toilet-trained, because if they aren’t, they grow up to be not toilet-trained. They will not automatically come to the conclusion all by themselves that it’s desirable not to have poop in one’s pants. The primary caretaker has to draw it to their attention.
According to my mother, I potty trained myself. But, I had an older sister and brother as examples. Basically, I would take some comics in the bathroom, do my thing and I would be done. I trained myself well before my second birthday. (however, mom said I would never have walked if she hadn’t forced me to do so…it all balances out in the end LOL)