My oldest son is 2 1/2. He understands everything you say to him, can point to his nose, his eyes, his toes, etc. He follows commands well. He just doesn’t talk clearly. He says only a few words we understand, the rest is just vocalizations.
I’m thinking that regardless of his verbal ability he’s ready for potty training. He’s got a brother 14 months younger and I am really ready to have one potty trained at least. Plus, if I get Leo trained now, I’m thinking that’s going to make it much easier to train Bram later.
So knowing that he doesn’t have the words to tell me when he needs to go (he has become really good at non verbal communication, though.), what’s my first step? How did you guys train your kids? Does the lack of words really mean he’s not ready? Is having a sibling so close in age not trained yet going to sabotage us? He’s not great with transitions, so I want to do this gently. Does anyone have any tips?
(As far as his verbal ability goes, neither I or his doctor are worried about it. He’s very social and bright eyed, he doesn’t display any repetitive or compulsive behavior and he doesn’t appear to have any major sensory issues. The aversion to change isn’t compulsive or pathological, just a function of his personality. Even though he likes routine, I can move events half an hour here or there without any meltdowns. He does respond to his name, although if he’s absorbed in something it may take a couple of tries. In other words, he’s just not showing signs of autism, or the typical signs of apraxia. Neither my brother or I talked until we were three and we’re normal, if a bit eccentric. I think this is just a quirk that runs in the family.)
Does he follow you or watch you use the potty? We have done this with both our kids, and the youngest, who is 2, is starting to be ready. I think the biggest signs are they want to see what’s in the diaper, and when you tell them they start to get the idea about feeling it.
I’ve also heard that you can let them run around nude for a weekend or so and that really helps, especially when they get themselves wet. Though it didn’t help much for our oldest one, she pooped on the floor, turned to look at it and just kept on playing.
He does take the poop out of his diaper when he poops. (Another reason I want to get this done! ew ew ew) He also pulls diapers off if they get too full for his tastes.
When my husband is off work this week, I’m going to have him start taking Leo into the bathroom with him. I don’t know how I’m going to train a boy though. Do we start him off sitting down and move to peeing standing up?
EDIT: He’s also going on a week-long trip without me. This trip will be at the beginning of August. Should I hold off on training until he gets back, or is it realistic to have him trained by then?
The following method has worked for all three of my kids; the two boys when they were just about to turn 3, and my daughter when she was about 2.5.
Introduce the concept of the potty, let the kid watch when you go to the bathroom, talk up the potty, etc., just to make them more comfortable with the idea. At some point, when you feel like the child is ready, make the switch away from diapers. For all of mine, we’ve just done naked time for the first day or two because that’s easier. Making a big production out of going to the store and picking out cool new big-boy (or big-girl) underpants can be helpful too.
When the child looks like they might be about to go, whisk them off to the bathroom and sit them on the toilet immediately. Encourage them to try to go, but don’t make a huge battle out of it. If the kid says he’s done or wants to get up, let him. If ANY amount of pee gets into the actual potty, even if it’s just a few drops and he wasn’t aiming in that direction, make a huge big production out of it and give him lots and lots of praise.
Take the child to the potty relatively frequently but don’t push it if he doesn’t want to or puts up a fight. You do not want to turn the potty into a battle zone; trust me here.
The key to this is to watch the kid like a hawk so that you can get him to the bathroom the second he starts to go, and then if anything gets into the actual toilet, praise praise praise. Some people have good success with little bribes like M&Ms. I didn’t use those with my older two, but with Whatsit the Youngest, I did give him a chocolate chip every time he successfully went in the potty, and I think that with him it helped.
ETA: Yeah, with my boys we potty trained them sitting down, and then they moved to standing up later when they had more skillz.
Amen to that. My son put up such a fight with potty training. And my husband and I totally engaged in it. Finally, over fourth of July weekend last year, I sat down with my son and said, “Look. I’m done with this potty thing. If you have to pee or poop, you come to me and let me know. I’m not going to pester you. I’m not even going to ask if you have to go. I know you know how, and when you’re ready you’ll tell me. So, here’s what you get if you start going in the potty all the time: you go in the school bus on field trips, you can go to preschool and you can have big-boy underwear. If you don’t, it’s no big deal. Just tell me when you’re ready.” Both my husband and I stopped even bringing it up with him and four days later, he was fully potty trained, even at night. Turning the toilet into a power struggle is just not worth it.
For my son, poop was the, uh, final frontier. Peeing was accomplished sitting down. We would just keep an eye on him and if he looked like he was about to go, we’d take him to the bathroom. Some kids have more obvious cues than others if they’re about to go, so you’ll have to adjust depending on whether or not your kid makes it clear that they’re going or about to go.
Definitely start him sitting down. Get them going where they’re supposed to be going before you start worrying about aim. And trust me, you will worry about aim.
John Roseman recommends what he calls the 7 day - $75 method.
Put the potty chair in the living room, so he sees and, and can think about it. Put him on the potty every hour. He’ll either go, or he won’t. If he goes, bully! Tell him he did a good job. If he doesn’t go, he doesn’t go. The kid should wear the thinnest cotton underwear you can find, and that’s it. He should feel it when he goes.
If he does go in his underwear, tell him “Oops,” and have him help you clean it up. Tell him that we need to do this in the potty. DO NOT make a big deal out of it. That gives him the power, and the last thing you want is a potty power struggle.
The child should be potty trained in about seven days. The seventy-five dollars is for the rug cleaning.
It requires nerves of steel, and a free week, but it works.
Not a lot of advice here, but I’ll be watching this thread closely. My daughter’s about the same age (born Nov '07) and I am SO ready for her to be potty trained. We’re partly there. She understands all about the potty, and what you’re supposed to do there, and actually has gone pee pee in the potty a lot of times. (She always gets crazy praise for it.) So I thought she was ready, did the whole production taking her to the store to pick out big-girl panties and a stickers and a sticker chart. Tried it for two days. She’d go to the potty if she wasn’t doing anything better, but if she was having fun doing something else, she’d just go in her panties and didn’t care a bit. And when I asked her if she needed to go, she’d always say no with a bit of defiance in her voice.
So I backed off–not about to battle with her about it. We’re back to diapers full time, and sometimes she gets on a kick about how much fun it is to use the potty, but I’m not seeing a desire to really let go of the diapers. I’m kinda waiting for her to tell me she’s ready–that she wants to be a “big girl.” After all, she’s only 2 1/2–still time before it’s late to train. I’m just a little worried that I’ll miss her signals.
My kids are ten and eleven, so its been awhile, but my patented works every time, multistep approach…
purchase potty chair. Talk to child about potty.
put child on potty every hour. Success. Celebrate.
No, false alarm.
After two weeks, say “we aren’t ready for this.” buy diapers.
Reintroduce potty chair.
Introduce STICKERS. Yeah!
We aren’t ready for this. Bang head against wall, buy more diapers
Reintroduce, this time with “big girl/boy” underwear - YEAH!!!
Success!
False Alarm - buy diapers.
Try naked method - yes the carpets will be ruined, but everyone says it WILL work
Clean carpets, buy diapers.
Repeat as needed until 18 months pass, your child goes to college, or you have consumed enough tequila to need rehab. Child self trains at 3 1/2 with no effort.
We went through that, too. My son was the last of his friends to potty train, at 3 1/2. We tried everything: stickers, candy, peeing every 15 minutes, naked days. I read every potty book, talked to every friend. Nothing. Until, finally, he just decided he was ready and basically potty trained in about a week. Very frustrating. Hopefully, your son won’t be as reluctant!
Our pediatrician says the way you’ll know when they’re ready is when they start figuring out that small things can fit inside bigger things. Once they understand that concept they can get the potty thing, so you might try giving him some toys or household items that nest and watching how he plays with them.
Also a cheerio in the bowl can be a fun way to learn to aim.
