Years ago I heard a joke and the punch line was “Cut Velvet!” Does anyone know the actual joke that belongs with this?
Thanks!
Jannal
From here:
Thanks so much for the info! Not a bad joke, even if it is old!
Jannal
I don’t get it.
This isn’t as good an explanation as the one Johnny LA could give, but in short:
Green is trying to save someone else from making the same mistake he made even as he falls to his death.
It’s an old joke that I just happen to think of the other day, and I couldn’t recall what preceeded the punch line.
I guess it might be considered a bit morbid but I can’t help laughing everytime I read it - :rolleyes:
I like the another joke too. The punchline is “Who Knows Me In Japan?”
Jannal
You must be in the garment industry. (I’m not, and I thought “Okaaaaay…”)
Can someone tell me the joke that ends with the punch line Who Knows Me in Japan?
Third Base.
Wrecked’em? Damn near killed him!
Oraka
What joke goes with the punchline “The Aristocrats”?
Can I tell it with mime?
A thousand pardons! I tried to locate “Oraka” online. That’s the way I heard the joke, decades ago, where it now appears “Gama Su” is the keyword. To avoid any further distractions on my part, check out Golf Jokes.
I don’t get it either. What does it mean to “cut” velvet? When he sees the guy “cutting” A-lines in flannel, what is that guy doing actually? I thought at first that “cut” meant to get rid of your investment in, but that doesn’t make sense, and I can’t see how physically cutting the cloth turns this into a joke.
Can someone explain to the fashion-clueless?
You’re not alone. I’ve given up telling this joke except to anyone in the garment industry, and even then. You always have to explain it.
It’s a combination of: the seasonal, fickle nature of the garment industry, in this case of which material to use (“cut x” means "use, or stock up on x); what a business owner can do when things go to shit; and a bizarre/sweet concern for the man’s competitors as he plummets to his death in suicide.
Get it?
A much simpler joke I use at times (cut-up that I am), is related only in that it has a man speaking after a jump. When asked “How are you,” you say, “Fine” <beat>, “as the man said halfway after jumping out of the Empire State Building.”
The person asking may not get it at first, but I always think it’s funny/appropriate.
The usual punchline for that joke is So far, so good!
This thread sounds like a Jeopardy quiz category! 
(Is it, in fact?)
And deep too.
:smack: Of course. I tell the joke right, but I obviously can’t re-tell it. 
Can someone tell me the joke that goes with this punchline?