I’m a frayed knot!
Listen, this is turning into that Johnny Carson routine with the telepath who can read jokes in sealed envelopes. I think only the OP’s query–only because it is a query–and my, if I do say so myself, punchline-joke of “9W” is what should count, not punchlines to old favorites, unless theyre really well known.
Although, why the hell not. Proceed.
A
Well since you insist, the greatest Carnak answer of them all:
Sis-boom-baa
Which is…?
What is the sound of an exploding sheep?
“doctor said you’re gonna die.”
“And then his legs fell off.”
Clothes are made of fabric, like velvet or flanel or silk. This does not come ready made. It has to be cut to the right shape for the intended garment, usually with scissors. That’s what “cutting velvet” means.
You’re not here for the hunting, are you?
So, he shot her.
“Well, you don’t really think I wished for a 10 inch pianist, do you?”
“I don’t think we’re throwing the dog high enough.”
“Block that kick! Block that kick!”
Give me a minute and I’ll save you 10,000 dollars.
Other than “Lie, dammit, lie!” that’s the only one I recognize.
Mine above is from what’s probably a really old joke, told by my grandfather.
[spoiler]A man was out hunting and happened on a beautiful naked young woman. She asked him “What are you doing, Handsome?” He said “Hunting”.
Her reply “Well, I’m game!”
[/spoiler]
Hopefully not the best joke in the thread. My grandfather was full of those.
I was tempted to put this in the “Best April Fool’s Jokes” thread, but decided here is better:
“April Fool, they’re both dead.”
Oh wait, I do know the one that ends “Doctor says you’re gonna die”. Doesn’t everyone?
It’s the caller’s response after his friend has been bitten in the penis by a poisonous snake
“And watch out you don’t step in the Hoya.”
“What you mean ‘we’, paleface?”