Can you arrange your funeral and make all arrangements decades ahead of time?

Factual Questions
1

I’m 26 and very healthy, but I’ve been thinking a little bit about how to make sure that my wishes are followed in the event of my (hopefully long future) demise and that nobody has to pay for it but me. Also I am single and at least at this point intend to stay that way; there may not be anybody to take care of these things. When my grandfather died this January, there ended up being all sorts of little incidentals - they had bought their plots for, like, nothing back in the 60’s, but there was a fee to open the grave, etc. I’ve seen on Six Feet Under people with “pre-need” arrangements - how does that work? I know things may vary from place to place, but I was just sort of considering it and don’t really want to talk to a funeral director just yet (most of the experiences I’ve had with them have been bad, with the notable exception of my grandfather’s funeral where they were wonderful. That was also still a family-owned business, unlike most of the funeral homes here.)

Is there any way to “get in” on any of this stuff? My grandparents bought their plots when they were amazingly cheap, which is an awfully good thing now that they (well, my grandmother) live on such a small fixed income. Thing is, I don’t want a plot, I want the cheapest cremation possible. I am concerned that if I don’t take care of that myself, grieving loved ones may go against my wishes or be upsold. Are there any monetary advantages to doing this decades in advance?

If I do do this in advance, does it have to be prepaid? What if the funeral home goes out of business? Is there some sort of FDIC thing for this? What if things I want aren’t available when I finally kick it? What if, say, I specify a certain charity in lieu of flowers, and they don’t exist at that point. Can I specify everything I want? (No open casket, no big to-do, minimal religion.) What if I change my mind in the future? Is it possible that if I make these arrangements and then die, unable to speak up for myself, that others might override my wishes? (I am very serious about this no open casket thing. I think it’s gruesome and creepy and I can’t stand the idea of people looking at me when I can’t look back.)

In other words, I’m really hoping there’s somebody here with either professional knowledge or personal experience to give me some pointers on this.

2

Sure. It’s called a funeral trust. The money you give the funeral home is invested at a bank in some typically mega-low-risk fashion. They can’t touch the money until you die, so if that particular home goes bankrupt, the trust is still intact. You can specify all kinds of details you want for your funeral, and the trust will pay for as much of it as possible. If the trust proves inadequate, your next-of-kin may have to make some cost-cutting decisions.

3

About 13 years ago my wife and I were given a Purple Cross account, the giver prepaid a couple years of premiums for us. We recently paid the account in full based on our choices of what happens when we die. We both chose cremation and as a Navy veteran, we will be interned at a local national cemetary. It also included the memorial markers and services. Its kind of nice knowing I won’t end up in a cardboard box sitting in a storage shed at a funeral home for 10 years. Thats what happened to my wife’s step father.

4

Geez, Zsofia, the Squirrels are bugging you that much? :smiley: :smiley:

5

[Funeral Home Manager] I didn’t hear no complaints! [/FHM]

6

Heh - I assure you, if they were, it wouldn’t be my funeral I was planning.

With these trusts and all, are you assured that your wishes will be followed? I know if you put something in your will it will probably be too late for the funeral. Does the law favor what you want or what your family wants?