Can you defeat the evil genie?

[Knowed_Out]

@Peter_Morris

I wish: A vaccine for AIDS discovered. Let it be 100% effective, no side effects, freely available for all people, cheap to buy, widely publicized, within 10 days from now.

The vaccine causes death, because AIDS can’t be cured.

[Lumpy]

@Mangetout

1 trillion dollars appear in a securely wrapped package, about 10 meters above your head.

@Knowed_Out

A trillion dollars, all bound up in crates, falls on top of you.

Can the genie add on unasked for things that are not inherent in your wish just to spoil them?

[Sage_Rat]

I wish that in all matters, all issues of ambiguity or subjectivity will be decided in a way that is most favorable to myself, by all parties and for all time, starting from the instant that this wish is relayed.

[pulykamell]

@LSLGuy

At which point the genie reaches into his(?) pantaloons pocket then hands you a 1 trillion Zimbabwe dollar note.

Was gonna say. Elementary error there not defining what type of dollars. That’s like Evil Genie 101. Or Jackass Dad 101.

(And thanks for the reminder. I just purchased 2 quadrillion Zimbabwean dollars for US$17 on eBay for the curio value.)

[Dr.Winston_OBoogie]

Kinda reminds me of this thread game:

The Devil Asks: What do you wish for?

The Devil offers to grant you a single wish, and in exchange you forfeit your eternal soul (standard fare for a deal with the Devil). Of course, the boon granted always comes with a catch. In this thread game, your posts should consist of two parts: A cruel, Monkey’s Paw-esque twist to the above wish One wish of your own We’ll start the game with the wish made by Johnny Blaze in the opening to Ghost Rider (2007): I wish my father would recover from his cancer. And here’s a response base…

[Miller]

I wish that my wishes will be interpreted favorably to me, following the intent of the wish, with no unforeseen repercussions or negative outcomes based on the literal wording.

[pulykamell]

Well, okay. But you’re out of luck. You get one wish.

[Miller]

Sure, but now I’m covered for the next time I meet a genie.

[pulykamell]

But why would a deal you made with one genie apply for another genie? These are all dangerous assumptions. As said above, the only winning move is not to play.

[Lucas_Jackson]

@DPRK

Just say
" ’al-lāhu lā ’ilāha ’il-lā hu / ’al-ḥay-yu l-qay-yūm / Lā ta’khudhuhū sinatun w-walā nawm / Lahū mā fi s-samāwāti wamā fi l-’arḍ / Man dha l-ladhī yashfa‘u ‘indahū ’illā bi’idhnih / Ya‘lamu mā bayna ’aydīhim wamā khalfahum / Walā yuḥītūna bishy’i m-min ‘ilmihī ’il-lā bimā shā’ / Wasi‘a kursiy-yuhu s-samāwāti wal’arḍ / Walā ya’ūduhū ḥifẓuhumā / Wahuwa l-‘aliy-yu l-‘aẓīm. "

Problem solved!

From the OP:

@colinfred

He lays out the rules: your wish must be in English…

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

I wish that, with no other changes to the universe, no being ever acts out of malice, cruelty, or sadism again.

[Little_Nemo]

@Peter_Morris

I wish: A vaccine for AIDS discovered. Let it be 100% effective, no side effects, freely available for all people, cheap to buy, widely publicized, within 10 days from now.

“You got it. Here’s the recipe for making the vaccine. You’ll notice the key ingredient is an extract made from a ground up human brain. So AIDS is now curable but the cost for each life saved is another person has to be killed. The Chinese government thanks you for expanding their organ harvesting market.”

[Folly]

“I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And I don’t want any zombie turkeys and I don’t want any other weird surprises. Got it!?”

edited for length

[Little_Nemo]

@Lumpy

Can the genie add on unasked for things that are not inherent in your wish just to spoil them?

First time dealing with a genie, huh?

[The_Other_Waldo_Pepper]

@Sage_Rat

I wish that in all matters, all issues of ambiguity or subjectivity will be decided in a way that is most favorable to myself, by all parties and for all time, starting from the instant that this wish is relayed.

So, my idea from upthread, but more than 30 words?

[Dr.Winston_OBoogie]

@Folly

I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard.

I had a math professor that had a proof that a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. A ham sandwich is better than nothing, so a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

[Miller]

@pulykamell

But why would a deal you made with one genie apply for another genie?

Because magic. Duh.

Okay, how about, “I wish that I will always have enough wealth to live a comfortable upper middle class existence, in whatever society I find myself living.”

“I wish to have perfect mental and physical health for the next ninety years, before dying peacefully in my sleep.”

Or, let’s see how far this wish stuff goes.

“I wish I had a real, as in not a drawing, impossible trident.”

[Miller]

@Little_Nemo

“You got it. Here’s the recipe for making the vaccine. You’ll notice the key ingredient is an extract made from a ground up human brain. So AIDS is now curable but the cost for each life saved is another person has to be killed. The Chinese government thanks you for expanding their organ harvesting market.”

How’s that a problem? We already have an organ donor program, and it’s not like we were doing anything with the brains anyway.

[Folly]

I think they forgot to mention that the human brains have to be experiencing maximum torture at the time of the extraction.

Also, AIDS is not the virus HIV, so I’m afraid an AIDS vaccine might involve losing your immune system or something. It’s not a side effect, because it’s the cure. And not instantaneously harmful.

[Horatius]

Any wish for money requires a legitimate source, otherwise issues of theft and tax avoidance become a problem.

“I wish that the next lottery ticket I buy for myself is the sole winning ticket for the largest prize pool for which that ticket is valid.” Then just wait until your local PowerBall, or similar lottery, is up to a good amount.