According to an item cited in last week’s Far Eastern Economic Review, a Malaysian couple had to be rescued by their neighbors after taking some kind of stimulant. “Joined together at their private parts, the red-faced couple had to be carried to the ambulance”. Doctors supposedly treated the problem by injecting the fifty-year-old woman with a relaxant so the sixty-year-old man could be removed. Tell me it ain’t true.
I think there was a Cesal column about it. In short IIRC no.
http://www.snopes.com/sex/penile/captivus.htm
The answer, according to snopes? Perhaps, but it’s unlikely,
Moderator’s note:
Ah, shucky-durn.
I’ve tried, TRIED, to persuade myself this is polling or even Debate Lite. Let’s face it, anecdotal accounts alone would have a certain train-wreck fascination.
But no–we have standards, guldurnit, even though they’re ::ahem!:: flexible. Factual inquiry; factual forum.
Movin’ it to GQ.
TVeblen,
for IMHO
Arf - arf - arf.
Toss a pail of water on 'em.
Referring to the condition as “dog knotting”, for obvious reasons, Tom Sharpe made wonderful fictional use of the condition in “Vintage Stuff”, whether founded in sheer fantasy or a real condition.
Somehow, this reminds me of another ULish sounding story which circulated a few years ago:
I don’t believe it. You would think that sheer embarassment would have caused him to detumesce. And even if he COULD maintain an erection for 12 hours, and could not obtain friction against the barbell hole, he could surely figure out some way to masturbate and, umm, lower the PSI. And finally, why would the medical center, where he first walked into, call a fire department rescue squad with bolt cutters?
You’re NOT getting them cutters anywhere near MY bolt wherever it might be.
The answer is no, and goodness knows how many times I’ve tried to do just that with full approval from my partner.
<insert perverted smilie here>
I quote from this site (the “Hazel’s Language Lessons” section):-
I just quote. I do not comment. Except to say: eep.
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- There is a condition call vaginismous if I remember right, where upon attempting sex the female clenches so tight the male cannot enter at all. It is considered a neurotic conditon not tied to any particular cause. —I say “Phone numbers, dammit! I need phone numbers!”
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- And by the by, um, certain undiscerning men do get odd things stuck in odd places, as most any big city medical worker can tell you. The stories are often rather creative. A shot of relaxant to the target is the typical method of removal; the “incision” bit qualifies it as pure BS. That guy wouldn’t be able to get a hard-on for a year. Can you say “lawsuit”? How about “20/20”? - MC
Actually, if the circumference of the penis is constricted enough, it cannot and will not detumesce, regardless of the emotional state of the, ahem… bearer.
For you see, the arteries that allow blood in to the corpus callosum (the spongy tubes that inflate to make the penis erect) are located in the center of the penis, while the veins that allow blood out of the penis are out near the surface. When you constrict these veins with something rigid and unyeilding, like a wedding band, a cockring, a glass bottle, or a barbell weight, blood goes in, but it doesn’t go out. And the penis can swell to painfully immense proportions, doing permanent damage… eeouch!
Whether or not the barbell story is true, it is indeed medically accurate. If the constricting item cannot be cut through, then the only way to releive the pressure is to make an incision in the corpus callosum so that the blood can escape. If the penis did not swell too large and damage the corpus callosum or the attendant blood vessels, then the man probably was able to have erections again, eventually.
May I speak for the entire male population to say
AAAAEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Say whatever you want, but I usually have to pay extra for that…
I remember back when I in 5th or 6th grade and all the girls were told to stay in one classroom and all we boys were moved to another classroom so the teachers could show us those horrible sex-ed videos and answer our questions about them, the teacher, a crotchety and completely unembarassable old woman, told us about this. She swore it was really true, and that she had read cases exacly like the one described by the OP. This generated a lot of pained expressions on our young faces, and probably would have kept me a virgin for a long time, if lack of opportunity (and, honestly, at that age, lack of desire not to be) hadn’t been much more effective, anyway. I don’t think any one of us in that room could imagine anything more embarrassing than having to be taken to the hospital for our parents and everyone else to see, literally locked in an amorous embrace with someone.
I used the term corpus callosum several times in a previous post, in reference to the spongy penile tissue that holds blood in order to make the penis erect. My use of this term was in error. The correct term is corpus cavernosum. I also made this error in another thread that I may or may not find in time to correct.
The corpus callosum is the part of the brain that connects the right half of the brain to the left half. The two hemispheres of the brain are intimately interconnected, and all of these connections are made via the corpus callosum. Sometimes the corpus callosum is surgically severed in order to help prevent the symptoms of epilepsy.
Apparently, I had penises on the brain…
You’re welcome.
I wonder if thats where they get the term dickhead! 
I once heard a story of a serviceman whose unit was up for inspection. The men were forbidden to wear jewelry during inspection, but in loyalty to his bride, this serviceman did not want to take off his wedding band. Therefore he placed it on his penis.
As you can guess, from the previous posts in this thread, the serviceman was in for an unpleasant surprise. The wedding band constricted the effluxing veins of his penis to the point where he gained an uncontrollable, painful erection. While attempting to stand in formation, this poor enlisted man’s penis swelled to excruciating proportions, until the pain forced him to collapse on the ground. Medics were called and eventually a urologist was summoned to surgically relieve this poor man’s erection so that the wedding band could be removed…
Now I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t have any fingers large enough to size a ring that I could ever even remotely consider large enough to fit around my johnson. This poor man must have been unlucky in more ways than one. And that goes for his bride, too…