It is said 11% of the population can claim to play a musical instrument, this seems very low.
Not counting the Kazoo or playing the drums 
can you squeeze a decent tune out of anything ?
After 30 years of trying, I can say I’m not bad on the Bass, the guitar and harmonica.
I can play guitar and recorder. I wouldn’t claim to be a musician of any calibre, but I can get a recognisable tune out of them.
I can play guitar, but can’t do any “recognizable” tunes. All I’ve got is classical music, and I’m not particularly good. Its mostly muscle memory, as I’m pretty sure I’m tone deaf.
I perform professionally and teach:
guitar (acoustic & electric)
upright bass (my main instrument)
electric bass
piano
banjo
and can also play at a pretty competent amateur level:
accordion
organ
mandolin
dobro
lap steel
drums
most hand percussion
I can play recognizeable tunes on the:
pedal steel
ukulele
cittern
fiddle
hammered dulcimer
absolutely no facility with any reed or brass instruments however.
I don’t get a chance to play much any more, but I play the piano/keyboards, guitar (electric and acoustic), bass, drums, and trombone. I used to be able to play the trumpet and tuba a bit but I’ve completely forgotten the fingering. I had 8 years of classical piano training and played the trombone in school. Everything else is self taught.
Mrs. Geek and all three Geeklings play at least one instrument.
Mrs. Geek - Piano
Geek Child #1 - Guitar
Geek Child #2 - Violin, Guitar, Piano, Clarinet
Geek Child #3 - Violin, Guitar
So in my random sample size of five we are slightly above 11%.
I appreciate music and musicians, but I’m part of the 89%. As far back as elementary school, when we were given recorders and things like wood blocks, I realized I was useless when it comes to any sort of rhythm or timekeeping, and musical theory was more baffling to me than physics. Since then, I’ve kept my musical participation to listening only.
A little piano, a little guitar, a little bass, a little drumming.
I got into banjo for a bit, but I’ve forgotten it all. You’re welcome. 
Theoretically I can play violin and clarinet, but it’s been a long time.
Guitar and bass.
I suppose I can claim to be able to play the trumpet. I started in 5th grade, and played throughout college, but haven’t really done so since then (20-odd years ago). I have since donated my horns to a Katrina-displaced musician from New Orleans.
I have no real embouchure to speak of any more, but I can still read music, and when faced with a piece of sheet music I will find my right hand banging out the trumpet fingering. So, I suppose with some practice, I could get to the point where I could blat out a tune on a trumpet or trumpet-like instrument.
With some determination, I can pick out a melody line on a piano, or a bass line with a little more concentration. I cannot, however, do both at the same time. I took piano lessons for a few months in my early 30s, and was never able to integrate both hands.
nope, not at all.
Classical piano, harpsichord.
.
Years out of practice, but I used to play trumpet, baritone horn, recorder and bash about on keyboards.
I’m not sure there is such a thing as a recognizable tune on a tuba, but I can play the bass harmony part for a lot of songs. I’m horribly out of practice on it by now, though.
Keyboards and others, but my primary professional instrument in Hollywood was the music pen.
I was first chair trombone in all-state orchestra in high school. Once I got to college I dropped the trombone and picked up guitar. Much easier to impress the ladies at parties with a guitar.
I am a horrible, horrible guitar player. I love it and have a couple really nice ones but I’m just not very good at playing them.
Well, there’s this guy (NB: youtube). 
The answer to the OP is that I can bang out some tunes on the guitar, but I won’t be earning money as a musician any day soon.
I’m a mediocre guitar player and I like to mess around on the piano.
I think it’s a little short sighted to exclude drums as non-musical just because you can’t pick out a tune on a kit, though.
I can play a little piano and used to know the recorder.
I’m an average-on-a-good-day bass player.
I can play the guitar for simple tunes/chords.
For my main gig, i.e. playing at church, I’m perfect.