The other day my friend (Yes, my friend, not me) went to a counselor & discussed her family situation. There was some talk about the nasty things that were said at home. Just talk though, no one was hitting anyone. Well, the counselor said she would have to call the Child Protective Services & have them evaluate the family. In other words, she did call them. Naturally my friend was horrified that CPS would come around.
How are people supposed to talk to a psychologist or a counselor without having CPS thrust on them like that? It just doesn’t seem fair.
Huh. I talked to a counselor about my family situation, which was and is basicly verbal and emotional abuse, and they didn’t call CPS on me. Mighta been better if they did. Maybe the rules are diffrent in other states? How do they evaluate these situations, anyway?
A close friend of mine is the non-custodial parent of a 10 year old. A few years back, the daughter’s stepmother went to counseling and admitted banging the child’s head (deliberately) into a coffee table.
CPS was called, and my friend took the custodial parent to court in an attempt to regain custody. It was denied.
I don’t know what it takes to remove a child where you are, but it is quite a bit here. As a rule, there is a strong push to keep families together.
Regardless, if I was the parent in this case, I would rush to a child advocacy attorney, to assure my rights were protected. CPS is managed by overworked humans, and being at their mercy can be a very bad thing.
I’m guessing, just guessing, mind you, that unless the verbal/emotional abuse was pretty severe the child will remain in the home. Possibility of removal while the home is being investigated, though. Keep in mind, however, that when the child is removed from the home, it creates a mountain of work for the state. Somebody has to find the child a bed. They aren’t eager to pull them.
Although it doesn’t seem fair in your friend’s situation, perhaps, it is necessary to investigate, for the welfare of the children who are being abused. The counselor doesn’t have a choice, and there’s a good reason choice was removed—if counselors were allowed to make the decision, we’d have a much broader range of what we allow and prohibit—too much responsibility/power for one person.
Good luck to your friend. I hope CPS’ investigation will serve as a positive reminder to treat the children with respect and unconditional love.
Sure, I think that my friend should have her family evaluated. On the other hand, perhaps next time in counseling she can refer the nasty stuff by using the third person hypothetical. e.g. " I have a friend who’s boyfriend says this nasty stuff."
I agree, ** handy, ** that it seems to be a breach of confidence that might hamper your friend from ever trying again, however, since I can’t know what it was that your friend confided, maybe it * was * endangering someone to such an extent an intervention is needed.
We went into counseling seven years ago, my unhusband was verbally abusive but had gotten physically over the top a few times too. Pushing one son down over his having lost at a basketball game that was being played in our driveway.
I told the counselor about that incident, and hitting our younger son with a football in the stomach, all were ‘accidents’ according to my husband. The counselor didn’t report him.
So maybe it is, as has already been mentioned, the state you’re living in [this is Georgia, where we went for counseling] and then of course, what was said, and the therapist’s opinion. We can’t know that.
I hope that everything works out well for your friends.