Reporting to Child Protective Services?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

First of all, since location is important here, this is a question regarding the legalities of Texas. Hope that’ll help of front with any potential information given.

Now, here is the situation…

My mother has been threatening to call CPS on my sister-in-law. I’m of the opinion that, overall, this wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but there are certain issues surrounding this that might make the kids’ lives worse (they’re the sons and daughter of my recently deceased (step) brother) than how it is now.

So what I’d like to know is that if she has already taken this step, would she be required by the agency to NOT divulge that fact to anyone, for whatever reason? Because you see, she’s always been so proud of being willing (nay, the only one bad ass enough to follow through!) to proceed when necessary, in her opinion, that she’s steadfastly claimed she’d gladly stand up and tell everyone she’s done so. [Gah! I know how convoluted that sounds, but I’m slightly fumbuzzled and I’m apparently not putting in the right terms when I search Google for help. I hope y’all understand what I mean. Sorry.] Fast forward to my most recent conversation with her and she’s completely mum on the subject.

I’d simply like to know why, if she’s done the deed, for the first time in her life she’s quiet. Hell, I’m of the mind that if my sister-in-law hasn’t got anything to hide, then she’ll be fine (which, she won’t, but that’s irrelevant hypothetically speaking). Therefore I wouldn’t be running and forewarning her this. The reason I’m interested is I’m curious to see if my mother has actually stood by her principles and her hand’s are tied due to the law or if, as I know her to honestly be, she’s a coward. Of course, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Further, I’d like to not contact the niece and nephews, then be blind-sided to the fact they’d been put in foster care. Certainly when a simple yes or no would prevent any more involvement.

Thanks for any and all help.

2

I think maybe you should try this OP again with fewer words. I’ve read it three times and I still can’t figure out what your question is?

ETA Wait. I think I’ve got it. You want to know whether she’d be required by law to keep it confidential that she called CPS? If that’s your question, the answer is no. She can tell you if she wants to.

3

Sorry Dio. Yeah, the question was if it was okay for her to tell me or not. If CPS says it’s illegal to share the fact that you reported someone.
Og, if I’m ever rich I’m going to hire a personal editor. Thanks for your answer though.

4

I think the OP thinks his/her mom called CPS on SIL but since mum is keeping mum he/she isn’t sure and wants to know if CPS would tell mum to keep her lip zipped regarding calling the authorities.

Or something.

ETA: Well, that’s settled then!

5

Perhaps your mom did call CPS but doesn’t want to say anything about it for fear that your SIL will do some crazy cleaning/shopping/etc to make it appear that she lives differently than she actually does in attempt to stop CPS from taking away her kids. One of my friends was raised in an environment where she was literally left alone to take care of herself and her brother for weeks at a time from the age of 11 upward. Every two or three weeks her mom would show up with groceries and would dissappear again in a day or two. Every time her family called CPS on her mom they always called her to say, “Watch out bitch, I reported you to CPS and they are going to come take away your kids!” which gave her just enough warning to get home and get everything cleaned up and actually be at home when CPS arrived.

6

Could the OP be confusing CPS with Homeland Security? CPS may suggest that it would not be a smart thing to reveal that one has made a report, but they have no enforcement power over reporting parties.

7

What if, just if, the mother enlisted the help of an intermediary so that the mother could call this person at 3:01 am, pass the message, and then that person could write a note and slip it under the door of CPS headquarters at the crack of dawn? That takes care of the confidentiality issues even in full honestly.

8

Unless CPS has changed or varies from state to state, there is a notice mailed out or a phone call made to the parent or guardian or whomever the claim is made against - very rarely is there a “surprise visit” made.

9

You can certainly receive a “surprise visit” in California. When my daughter was in preschool she got a bladder infection. For a couple of days before it was diagnosed she was rubbing her crotch. This was noticed by her preschool teachers which (because it could possibly be interpreted as evidence of sexual abuse) triggered mandatory reporting laws that obligated the school to notify CPS. So one night without warning we arrived home to discover two cops and a social worker camped on our doorstep. It was a very unpleasant experience. They interviewed us for about an hour (including both kids by themselves) before deciding that we weren’t child molesters, then went on their way.

10

pbbth: Of course, that could be my mother’s reasoning. However, she has typically been way too much a sanctimonious prick to not mention her so-called “do good-ing” deeds. So, that either leads me to wonder if she won’t tell me because of 1) them forbidding her; 2) her really being a coward after all (as I’m assuming is probably really the case; or 3) your scenario, which means she thinks I’d alert her.

If the latter is the case, she’s even more psycho than I think she is. Finally, my SIL couldn’t do enough damage control in weeks to prevent at least further investigation. It’s honestly that bad.

Tabula Rasa: Nah, I have a basic grasp of what Busybody Security does for our homeland, but pretty much nothing on the workings of Child Protective Services. Mainly because I’m not a parent, but also since I don’t threaten everyone and their dogs with it, a la’ my mother. I just wasn’t sure if dealing with them fell under the general umbrella of what’s said whenever you’re tangled up in law proceedings… “I can’t discuss X. We’re in (a type of) litigation now.”

Shagnasty: Seriously, I couldn’t care less about my mother’s issues with confidentiality. I’m only concerned with how things turn out with the kids and whether or not I’ll still be in their lives. However, the next time she tries to run someone in for something, I’ll pass your suggestion along to her.

Pixilated and Pochacco: You guys have given me more questions to ask. To anyone – exactly what does happen if a parent is deemed unfit? Are the children automatically put into foster care until whatever problem is resolved or is there a chance they’d be place with immediate relatives? How sever does the situation have to be anyway?

Oh, and just in case someone knows how to find it, is there any sort of cite on CPS requiring non-disclosure on informants? Specifically for the state of Texas. Thanks again everyone for all your help. This has helped me calm down a bit.

11

Here is a Texas DFPS web page.

Among other points:
The investigator is not allowed to reeal who made the complaint.

Also:

According to this page, you are required to report episodes of child abuse that you witness. Also, it’s pretty clear you can report anonymously. I don’t see anything suggesting that that the person making the complaint can be ordered to shut up. Actually, it seems almost impossible given that they may not know the identity of the complainant, and that the witnesses of abuse are also encouraged to contact local law enforcement.

12

I’d caution anyone against calling CPS unless there is a genuine fear for the safety of the children. Differences in parenting styles is not a legitimate reason to call.

Leaving young kids unattended merits a phone call. An 11 year old doing laundry/making dinner for her siblings does not.

I’d also encourage the OPer to contact her nieces/nephews regardless of whether her mother has called CPS. Those kids could use an aunt who cares about them, for no other reason than because they just lost their dad.

13

The NZ version of CPS will prosecute malicious claimants. That means that if they decide the person reporting abuse is just trying to cause trouble rather than acting out of genuine concern, that caller *will * end up in court facing charges.
There has to be a balance between ‘following through’ where you suspect abuse and ‘being badass’ where it will cause a whole heap of trouble to a disliked relative.
If there is a similiar set-up in Texas, your mother may have been warned off. Especially if she’s a regular caller.
An anonymous query call to your local CPS office should settle whether the kids will be fostered with relatives. If it comes down to that.

If *you’re * concerned about the kids’ welfare, why don’t you report and offer to foster them?
Could it just be a period of grieving rather than actual neglect? Recently deceased husband/father and all that? Could support be a better option?

14

If there had been a similar set-up in Texas in the 70s and 80s, my grandmother would have ended up /Dr. Phil hat on/ under the jail /Dr. Phil hat off/.

She didn’t have any specific, consistent target. She just generally disapproved of how other people raised their children. And, she had a lot of time on her hands.

15

Boyo Jim: Thanks for the link. That is very informative and helpful. I appreciate it and I’m sure I’ll be spending a good deal of my upcoming time reading through it.

PunditLisa: My mother definitely falls under the category of people who believe that, “Differences in parenting styles” IS “a legitimate reason to call.” Although in this particular situation, I feel that CPS is needed, generally speaking she has no ability whatsoever to understand what is warranted for a child’s well-being or not.

As to my contacting the kids, I do constantly. What I had hoped to prevent, however, was getting into a giant hornet’s nest of chaos if they’d already been removed from their home. Just a preemptive desire to not make bad things already worse, all the way around.

maggenpye: I wasn’t really so concerned regarding a malicious claim as I was trying to provide background for why I wished to know if the call had been made in the first place. Although I’m glad to know that isn’t taken lightly either, I’m not sure of how the system works here in Texas. Needless to say, lots of vigilantism-type revenge takes place with regards to parenting and the proud cowboys who supposedly ‘turned in’ the transgressors.

As far as I know, my mother has never called before. It’s just always been her threat to do so on almost every mother I’ve ever been acquainted with, at some time or another.

And I am concerned about my niece and nephew, going as far as offering to let at least one of them live with me. Unfortunately, due to my own circumstances (I’m mentally ill and don’t have the best living conditions / finances / relationships) that isn’t an optimal option.

More, reporting them has seemed to be even worse than that. You see, it’s been my experience around these parts, that children like this can very easily end up with whatever closest relatives. Here that would be their maternal grandmother. She certainly has problems of her own, but would undoubtedly pass well enough to be their guardian. What wouldn’t be on the radar though is why I haven’t taken any steps of my own… their uncle is a molester. He’s never been convicted (of that), but he lives with Granny off and on enough that this prospect terrifies me infinitely more than them remaining with a slovenly mother that drinks too much, doesn’t work (but has my brother’s pension, etc.) and overall is remiss. Because if they put them with the rest of the family, they’d have all that plus some evil thrown in to the mix. So, as I’m sure you can understand, this is really, really difficult.

Last, this isn’t about David’s death. She’s been like this since before they were married, he just kept things afloat and doable as best he could. Everyone around her has tried to get her support (IE: even as an agoraphobic, I’ve been willing to attend AA or grief counseling with her) and she says there’s no need. Not even for the kids. :eek:

Tabula Rasa: That’s her exactly, except until now she’s been too chicken to put the money where her mouth was. Now she’s gone and done this (or rather that’s what she’s coyly intimating), despite knowing the consequences outlined above. I wonder if she’ll still be proud of her actions later?

16

I’m really not sure how the Texas system works with the exception that 17yr olds fall in to the grey area. I “fostered” a friend of my son’s because his step mom kicked him out (his dad was in jail for drugs) & he had nowhere to go - his grandparents wouldnt take him in & after speaking with his principal in his home town, doesnt sound like grandparents were much of a rolemodel. Because of his age, he was not an adult and he was not a kid so I had to get a lot of things in writing to protect myself & family just by allowing him to live with us.*

In this day and age it’s getting harder and harder to prove child abuse/neglect & more states are taking on the role of fining/prosecuting repeat callers. Like anything - this is good AND bad.

For example (and I apologize if this is hijacking) - I know of a mother of 3 who could play the system to the point where CPS just stopped investigating her. No surprise visits, NOTHING. She even had a psychologist so wrapped around her finger that the psych went to bat for her.

Well guess what - her oldest daughter finally came forward when her mom’s drunken shaddy jerk of a man tried raping her. She was taken from the home to llive with her “father” (the man named on the birth certificate but not her biological dad) & his family. Oh, and this was the girl’s SECOND known reported, investigated, & convicted sexual abuse case - the first was a few yrs prior by her stepdad. Her Mom would make her 6/7 yr old daughter shower with her stepdad! Granted, the stepdad’s IQ was lacking and when she said jump he did! The Mother played puppetmaster & boy was she good at it. Heck, she even got busted bringing the younger 2 kids to see their sister WITH the BF in which there was an order that the bf have no contact & move out (or have the other kids taken away) during the investigation & all she got was a “dont do that again” from the judge.

She still has her other 2 kids even though there have been reports… lucky for her Neb doesnt seem to have a “your kid is required to be in school” law like the one in Texas so her kids could nurse their mother anytime she had a hangover or whatever (she’s a walking physician’s nightmare). It pretty much came to an end when the state told her Mom (who was the one who reported her a good chunk of the time) that they would not hesitate to take legal action against HER (ok, her Mom has issues too - but the state bought in to “everything i do is my mom’s fault and now she’s just tryin to ruin my life more by saying I’M not a good parent when really I am”.

*In Texas, I had a written statement that since I was not a state-endorsed foster parent nor a blood relative or relative by marriage, I do not have any parental or guardianship responsibilities to the child (ie I am not responsible for any legal difficulties he brings upon himself)… I served only as a “consultant”.

17

I can’t answer your question (though I did understand it on the first try). However I have worked from a policy standpoint on child protective services policies in several US states, and I have never heard of a law preventing people from saying “I sent CPS to investigate so-and-so.” That doesn’t prove anything, however.

I do feel the pain of faithfool and others surrounded by people who not only complain unreasonably, they are PROUD of their behavior. I am close to someone who loves to say about herself, “I call 'em like I see 'em, I’m a real straight shooter!” Clearly she think she is in some way superior to other people who don’t go ballistic at the (perceived) failings of others. Pure conceit, with no grasp of reality.

18

Pixilated: I know. It’s like sometimes, there’s just no winning. Or, as I like to think of it often… no good deed goes unpunished. :frowning:

CairoCarol: Thank you. It’s so nice to know that occasionally someone gets what I’m trying to blather on about. And you’re right on the money about the type of people who are like my mother. Those “well somebody has to tell the truth” folks (especially when it’s questionable if they ever really do so) are downright terrifying. Ugh.

19

I only heard about it in the mid 90’s during a parenting course, so I don’t know how long it’s been in place. It had to be brought it because of family members in divorce cases just making random accusations or blowing things out of proportion. So much time and money was wasted on false claims that legitimate cases were slipping through.
One of the other mothers on the course asked if she could have her ex arrested for assault - because she hurt her hand while punching him! The CYPFS worker was literally speechless - realising that the woman wasn’t joking or making an ironic example, the CYPFS worker just said a hushed “No - you can’t.” and moved on to another subject.
**
Faithfool** I feel for the kids. We’ve had similar cases here where taking kids from a negligent parent only put them with abusive relatives.