Apparently, for what reason nobody has yet figured out, severed human feet are washing up on Westham Island in British Columbia:
I think the authorities need to really step up their efforts.
Gee, all those severed feet and they don’t know much. Someone should lend a helping hand.
The game is afoot!!
Those poor lost soles. What heel would do this?
The lack of evidence in this case is proving to be an impediment.
A femur corny puns, please …
Their arch-rival, of course!
This is a perfect opportunity for some flatfoot detective to get his foot in the door.
You people are absolutely callous.
This article is the best!
Apparently feet are just falling off!
These capricious legs, they’ve really been making tracks.
You really have to watch out for the undertoe there.
You know, by plotting the landing points and backtracking the drift paths, they can find out all sorts of things about the ocean…
What?
I’m still skeptical of the (not stated here) claim that time and tide sorts the feet onto different beaches for lefties and righties. That would take unbelievable consistency in all of the variables involved.
Also…
Well, duh. The parts that come off the torso are, well, any of the parts that are not the torso.
Are there really any other parts that could come off. Well, OK, one maybe if it’s a guy.
The toe-truck driver.
They should shoe him away.
you’re a little late.
They will all go to heaven. Feet have souls.
Time for the monthly foot washing ashore pun thread already? How time flies. 
Appropriately, we ended up with a pair of these threads, so I’ve merged them and moved the combined thread over here to MPSIMS.
Actually, you’ve got two left ones there.
This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy went to BC, and this little piggy went sailing in the foam.