Canada the insignificant fart in a windstorm!

The BBQ Pit
21

[QUOTE=calm kiwi]
Canada is to America as Scotland is to England or New Zealand is to Australia.
…
[/QUOTE]

Ahem, no. All but two of the countries mentioned do actually have properly separate independent governments. :smiley: Can I move to NZ or Canada, please?
Happy Canada Day, Valderon and others. :slight_smile: (Yes, I did know that before reading this thread: I am quite impressed with myself. For my next trick I’m going to try to go shopping without, you know, forgetting the milk or cat food or anything, which will be tricky).

22

Oops, not Valderon, but Valteron. Sorry.

23

So what you’re saying is, Canada is like the U.S. in terms of living conditions, but without the significance to the world that causes everyone to hate them?

Sounds good to me.

(Ottawa, btw).

24

[QUOTE=Derleth]
Am I the only one so far who thought the OP was hilarious?
[/QUOTE]

No - I, too, thought it funny as hell.

It’s no more offensive than listening to an American rant about America, or a Frenchman rant about France, or whatever group member ranting about whatever group to which they belong. I’m surprised at all the people taking it seriously.

25

[QUOTE=Valteron]
I never said I was not happy here.
[/QUOTE]

Huh. The “pathetic and insignificant piece of shit” talk could’ve fooled me, but okay.

Anyway, it’s now seeming like your rant can basically be summed up as: “Canada: a nice place thinks it’s more important than it really is!!!”

… it’s nice to be living somewhere where that’s the worst thing you can come up with.

26

[QUOTE=Derleth]
I like frozen Jews in the morning, too.
[/QUOTE]
Ah, but fresh-squeezed orange Jews is so much better.

27

[QUOTE=Valteron]
And yes, the poster was right who said that today, July 1, is Canada Day, our national birthday. You win the first prize, which is one week of watching the CPAC Parliamentary Channel on Satellite. Second prize is two weeks of watching it.
[/QUOTE]

I must take issue with that statement. Friedo is correct to state that the date represents the forming of confederation, (minus Newfoundland and British Columbia) but the real national birthday for Canada is December 11.

You win second prize if you know the significance of that date.

You win first prize if you can provide a reasonable argument as to why I’m wrong.

(most Canadians know very little about their own country)

28

And I’ll tell ya something else, their beer sucks!

[riot and tumult]

29

[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
And I’ll tell ya something else, their beer sucks!

[riot and tumult]
[/QUOTE]

If you are referring to crap Labatt-Bud*-Molsen that passes for beer in both our countries, I couldn’t agree more. :slight_smile:

30

[QUOTE=FordPrefect]
If you are referring to crap Labatt-Bud*-Molsen that passes for beer in both our countries, I couldn’t agree more. :slight_smile:
[/QUOTE]

Well, obviously. No sane person could think otherwise.

But if anybody starts insulting Keith’s… oooooh… :mad: :mad:

… I’ll be mildly upset!!

Let’s see what other bad things we can say about Canada, since Valteron has gotten us started.

In the winter, it is very cold.

We don’t win at hockey as much as we should.
P.S. - Flying Dutchman - Treaty of Westminster!

31

[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman]

[QUOTE=Valteron]
And yes, the poster was right who said that today, July 1, is Canada Day, our national birthday. You win the first prize, which is one week of watching the CPAC Parliamentary Channel on Satellite. Second prize is two weeks of watching it.
[/quote]
I must take issue with that statement. Friedo is correct to state that the date represents the forming of confederation, (minus Newfoundland and British Columbia) but the real national birthday for Canada is December 11.

You win second prize if you know the significance of that date.

You win first prize if you can provide a reasonable argument as to why I’m wrong.

(most Canadians know very little about their own country)
[/QUOTE]
Heck. I’m so old, I always have to remind myself to call it Canada Day instead of Dominion day.

32

[QUOTE=Valteron]
The UN consistently judges Canada one of the top 5 best countries to live in, and always ahead of the US (no insult intended to the US).
[/quote]
Well, that settles it then.

Except I believe the UN is in New York. :slight_smile:

33

[QUOTE=elfbabe]
In the winter, it is very cold.
[/quote]

Not here on the west coast.

Have you been naturalized already?

I’ll give you second prize as promised. However it wasn’t a treaty.

Statute of Westminster

34

Y’know, even as a loyal Canuck, I have to agree a lot with Valteron. I mean we live in country whose forefathers decided to stick with a syphilitic king rather than take a chance on liberty and independence. Meek, even two and hundred and thirty years ago. It’s in our blood to suck.

And, don’t get me going about “Canadian content” laws. You know, the laws that make mandatory that a certain (ungodly large) percentage of TV and radio programming be made in Canada. Indeed, nobody would ever choose to watch such horseshit voluntarily (“ooooh! goody! another show on Louis Riel, he was innocent, eh?”)

Canadian content even extends to the goddam super bowel ads, for chrissakes! God forbid I should be allowed to see an honest-to-goodness Budweiser commercial. I guess the Liberals are afraid I might give up on Labbatts. No, I’ll have to settle for an ad put on by a local car dealer or, what’s worse, by Oliver “sell me your diamonds and I’ll give you cash, cash, cash!!!”

Hey, who knows about our Senate? Don’t let the term ‘senate’ confuse you. No, our senate is NOT elected. We have a better system, see. We appoint cronies of the Prime Minister, loyal party members or fundraisers, or ex-hockey players. Note that members of our senate need not actually do anything, or attend Parliament, in order to collect their “pay”. Membership in the Senate is a sinecure. I like to think that one day I’ll be appointed. After all, I’ve got the training and inclincation. I’m lazy, like to sleep, and know nothing and care less about most of the so-called “pressing” national issues (according to the CBC the big ones are language, Native rights, Native’s language rights, and language).

But the OP is spot on - Canadians don’t like to be ignored. Just ask Dubya. Why the nerve of that man! Imagine our outrage when he actually failed to explcitly thank Canada for its support in the days following 9/11. Hey, he thanked Paraguay, and he even told Benin how grateful he was. But what’s Canada, eh? Fucking chopped liver??!!

One thing for sure, though. Our Bill of Rights is nothing to sneeze at, I’ll tell for sure. Why, if our government thinks there’s a greater need, or compelling reason, to override them, well, nothwithstanding our “rights”, they can do just that.

“Only in Canada you say - pity”.

35

Look, it’s simple: Canada is the old name for what’s now called Ontario, which they gave up to the nation as a whole. (There are some people in Ontario who think that the two terms are still coterminous. ;)) As a nation, Canada was founded by John D. MacDonald, who wrote the Travis McGee mystery novels. For eighty years it considered itself an autonomous part of the British Empire, until its King, who like the NWT until recently was named after William Lyon Mackenzie, signed the Treaty of Ogdensburg, by which Canada agreed to stop defining itself as “not part of England” and to start defining itself as “not part of the U.S.” Some years later, Garry Trudeau, going north to do research for Doonesbury, repatriated their Constitution by sleight of hand – Canada is the only nation with a Constitution that is technically an amendment to a statute of another country (except for the parts that are something else). It’s national name comes from the abbreviation “CND” standing for “Country [or Canada] not Dominion” – as in the official name for today. When asked to spell this out, a Canadian will say, “C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?” This was misunderstood and adopted as the national name. :smiley:

36

[QUOTE=KarlGauss]
Y’know, even as a loyal Canuck, I have to agree a lot with Valteron. I mean we live in country whose forefathers decided to stick with a syphilitic king rather than take a chance on liberty and independence.
[/QUOTE]

When George III was the King I don’t think there was really a “Canada” in any sense that matters. By the time there was, there wasn’t a King anymore. (Well, not one who was in charge.)

37

[QUOTE=RickJay]
When George III was the King I don’t think there was really a “Canada” in any sense that matters. By the time there was, there wasn’t a King anymore. (Well, not one who was in charge.)
[/QUOTE]

Of course. I guess I should have been clearer - ‘our forefathers whose descendants would form a large part of the inchoate Canada chose to stick with George III’.

38

[QUOTE=Polycarp]
Look, it’s simple: Canada is the old name for what’s now called Ontario, which they gave up to the nation as a whole. (There are some people in Ontario who think that the two terms are still coterminous. ;)) As a nation, Canada was founded by John D. MacDonald, who wrote the Travis McGee mystery novels. For eighty years it considered itself an autonomous part of the British Empire, until its King, who like the NWT until recently was named after William Lyon Mackenzie, signed the Treaty of Ogdensburg, by which Canada agreed to stop defining itself as “not part of England” and to start defining itself as “not part of the U.S.” Some years later, Garry Trudeau, going north to do research for Doonesbury, repatriated their Constitution by sleight of hand – Canada is the only nation with a Constitution that is technically an amendment to a statute of another country (except for the parts that are something else). It’s national name comes from the abbreviation “CND” standing for “Country [or Canada] not Dominion” – as in the official name for today. When asked to spell this out, a Canadian will say, “C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?” This was misunderstood and adopted as the national name. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

That was great; truly great! :smiley:

39

Everytime I hear a Canadian complaining about how difficult it is living next door to the United States, I figure they should call a Belgian or a Korean or a Pole and see how much sympathy they get.

40

[QUOTE=Little Nemo]
Everytime I hear a Canadian complaining about how difficult it is living next door to the United States, I figure they should call a Belgian or a Korean or a Pole and see how much sympathy they get.
[/QUOTE]

But those countries aren’t next door to the United States.