Prior to the COF scene, the actor will pull oot.
That’s a dam shame.
And if anything is censored then a maple leaf must be used instead of a fig leaf.
And David Suzuki must be narrating, with an editorial comment after by Peter Mansbridge.
All mood music (Bow Chicka Bow Bow) and sound effects must be played on an ElectroSonic keyboard attached to an Ampex VR-1200 editing machine.
Every film must include a reference to “The World’s Biggest Hoe.”
Poutine MAY NOT be utilized as personal lubricant.
Canadian bacon.
“Oh! Oh, Canadaaaaa!!!”
You mean back bacon. It’s not Canadian to call back bacon Canadian bacon. That’s a US thing. Referring to back bacon as Canadian bacon in porn is just another example of the creeping US cultural influence that we’re trying to resist!
The combination of bacon, mushroom and pepperoni is often called “a Canadian”, but only in Canada. Apart from the first I could not say why.
Bestiality/Zoophilia will involve Canada Geese.
All body measurements and references will be metric.
Occupational Health & Safety is going to have something to say about requiring people to work in proximity to cobra chickens.
According to @gorsnak, they are just called “Geese”. Stop trying to sneak your US cultural influences into their porn! 
[Hijack]Growing up close to Buffalo on the American side of the border, we got at least one Canadian TV channel. “Definition” is where I’ve heard the word “Zed” the most, probably moreso than from all other sources combined.[/hijack]
The doggy-style position is highly preferred, so that nobody misses a minute of the hockey game, eh?
English language pornography will not be able to be produced in Quebec unless the performers or their close relatives have already acted in English language pornography somewhere in Canada.
But “show me your poutine” is a sexy request.
Moosehead should figure prominently.
And I am referring to the beer.
[not that there’s anything wrong with it]
That’s not realistic. Sex NEVER takes that long.
Dude, you need more imagination!
David Suzuki and Peter Mansbridge must be on-screen, getting it on.
But then Shania Twain, Avril Lavigne, and Sarah McLachlan enter the room,. naked, and the boys realize what they’ve really been missing. During a pause in the action, we hear the distant cry of a loon. A wolf peers in through the window, making mental notes for future use.
Beat me by 3 hours!