I’m in the Pit and trying to get a rise out of a Canadian (for fun).
There’s a quote about Canada that goes better than the following mangled text:
“The poor Canadians, they could have had American ___, French food and English ___, but instead they ended up with French ___, American ___ and English food.”
As I remember, two items were politics and cooking. But I can’t remember the third or which goes where.
Does anyone else know the qoute?
“Canadians could have had American know-how, French culture, and English diplomacy, instead they got American culture, French diplomacy, and English know-how”
Or somesuch.
The correct quote:
“Canada could have enjoyed: English government, French culture, and American know-how. Instead it ended up with: English know-how, French government, and American culture.”
– John R. Columbo, “Oh Canada”, 1965
This thread can be closed.
I remembered it about 6 am this morning.
“Canadians could have had French food, English culture and American government. Instead, they ended up with French politics, English food and American culture.”
Eh? 
[smile]
I’d always heard it as “American technology, French cooking, English culture --> French technology, English cooking, American culture”.
The common theme seems to be that American Culture is a bad thing 
I’m going to go with “what.” on this one.
Columbo stole this joke, though; it’s been told a million times about a dozen or more nationalities/people using thousands of different combinations.
Now that’s a cite I can’t argue with.
There’s one about heaven and hell, where the different jobs are held by the French, English, Italians, Germans and Swiss, but I don’t exactly remember it right now. It should be easy to find in a few seconds with Google, though.
I could tell him how to get a rise out of Canadians, but that wouldn’t be sporting.
Would be 9 years too late, too. This thread is searching for brains.
In heaven, the police are British, the chefs are French, the cars are German, and the women are Italian.
In hell, the police are German, the chefs are British, the cars are French, and the women are Italian.
I’m sure there are other versions of that.
Poor old Sigmund was banned. I wonder why the PTB here are so willing to silence somebody about Sarkozy…
In the D.C. area we quote JFK and say that Washington has Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
He was banned on his third post, and his post history only lists two of them, so I’ll bet that third one was a doozy.
I’ve also heard your version, but the one I had in mind was something like this:
In heaven, the government is run by the Swiss, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the police are English, and the lovers are Italian.
In hell, the government is run by the Italians, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and the lovers are Swiss.
I remember this version: “Canada had an excellent opportunity: They could have had British manners, French cuisine, and American technology. Instead, they wound up with American manners, British cuisine, and French technology.”
Doesn’t it start, " Canada had an excellent opportunity, they could have had British manners…with a whore…in the kitchen…" errr, no, hang on.
I think adequate time has been allotted to answer OP’s question so, under the rules, I am permitted a mild hijack. OP’s question reminds me of Winston Churchill’s observation:
Dinner would have been splendid — if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess.
Reading way back to GIGObusters’ quote and looking at the world today, maybe it is for the best that Canada didn’t get English Government.