Now, we discussed this briefly a week or so ago, but now that we’ve all gotten back on the track of enjoying autumn, let’s really get down to it.
Candy corn should be eaten in three individual bites, white, then orange, then yellow.
If you’re eating Indian Corn, you eat the chocolate bottom first, then the orange, and the white tip last.
A handful of white tips is better than no candy corn at all.
In closing, I present a poem I wrote, three years ago, for the now defunct Absurd Pamphlet Press:
Triptych Ambrosia
It depends on your mood, she said
You can either pop them in your mouth whole
Like this (she did it, eating six or seven at once)
Or, you can separate them
White tip first
Then thick, soft orange
Then yellow.
We paused as she did this,
Demonstrating her deftness
At separating the candy.
If you’re feeling zany, she said,
Starting to laugh,
You can take the yellow bottoms and
Stick them on your teeth
Like sweet, sticky caps
And then your teeth look like
They’re made of corn!
I have candy corn impacted under my fingernails from clawing the candycorn out of the way to get to the reese’s cups buried below in the candy jar at work. Candy corn is okay, but not my favorite. Call me heathen.
What’s your take on those colored pumpkins? Same general candy ingredient, different shape.
I can take an occasional mallocreme pumpkin, but only if they’re included in an ‘autumn assortment’ situation. One pumpkin equals (in my mind) about six individual corns, so you can easily go into sugar shock if you’re not careful. The thing about the corn is, it’s small, a little burst of mallocreme goodness. the punkins are dense and when they aren’t soft enough, watch out, sore tooth city.
jarbaby
Much as I love the candy corn (except those vile chocolate-ended ones! Ick!) I have to say that I’m an even bigger sucker for the aforementioned mallowcreme pumpkin. Ahh…manna from heaven. First you bite off the little green stem and chew it with just your front teeth…then eat the pumpkin in vertical thirds.
Frickin’ diet…how many carbs are in one o’ them little pumpkins? How many can I sneak into my “low-carb” diet?
And at Easter there’s Easter corn, aka Bunny Corn. Same general idea, but in pastel colors. I’ve always thought bunny corn tasted way sweeter than candy corn – and not nearly as good.
Candy corn is ambrosia, bunny corn is a good idea gone bad.
Damn you, jarbabyj! I had just started back on my exercise regimen a few days ago, and now this thread has come up. I love candy corn as I love few other confections, and mellowcreme pumpkins besides. But I stayed strong – there are by-the-scoop candy stores all around my apartment, but they tempted me unsuccessfully.
I needed to do a light shopping tonight to restock the house with food. Fruit mostly, a few bottles of diet soda, that sort of thing. Then I saw it. Brach’s, 12 oz. The only one in the store, amidst a pile of individually-wrapped Halloween garbage. Guess what followed me home.
[sub]We won’t even talk about the Mallomars. They were half price with my store membership; I had no choice.[/sub]
If I ever see you, I will be forced to vent my violent, tri-colored, honey-sweetened passion upon your quivering body for this outrage to my waistline.