Cannibal who ate my coworker (who volunteered to be eaten) being retried

What is really sad is that I read the OP as saying the individual will be * retired.* Which really had me confused (I think it was the word coworker that helped lead me astray).

Perhaps they didn’t mention the nice chianti?

(Fffthfffthfffthffth.)

I read it that way too originally. I thought this was maybe an observation thread about how his company needed an update for their employee handbook.

snip
C.XIV.14.f Employees found to be cannibalizing co-worker(s) will be discharged. An employee discharged for such an act will not be eligible for retirement benefits.

“Yes, I’d like the Leg of Larry and for my sides how about a couple of nice vegetarians?”