"Can't you read the sign?"

So, today, I stood at the corner of 6th and Magnolia here in Fort Worthless holding my protest sign, as I regularly do.

There happens to be a vegan restaurant on the northeast side of the intersection, the Spiral Diner. It is closed on Mondays. In fact, the font size of “Closed Mondays” on the door is second only to that of the logo itself. It’s blatantly obvious.

Yet, in the hour I was there (hour of 5 PM Central), I saw no less than six different people walk up to that door and yank on it, then act surprised the place is, you know, closed. :rolleyes:

One guy–a mountain-bike-riding yuppie type–rode up to the bike rack, locked up, proceeded to yank on the door for the better part of a minute, then walked back to his bike, unlocked it, and rode off towards the east… in the westbound bike lane! :smack:

It truly amazes me how people miss signs like that. So, in the interest of getting to laugh and shake my head some more, I present this thread! Share some of y’all’s stories of seeing morons in public (or perhaps yourself/a family member/friend/loved one/et cetera) miss blatantly obvious signs–especially the really juicy ones involving surprises like wet cement. :smiley:

[sings] (badly off-key)“Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs
Blockin’up the scenery, breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?” [s] (bok)

I know this is potentially off-topic, but silly signs have been a thing of mine for 40 years or better.

One I enjoyed posting read, “The space previously occupied by this sign has been moved to another location.”

this thread confuses me. what are you protesting, and why does it matter that the closed restaurant is vegan?

Reminds me of a scene from Empire Records:

Having spent the total amount of a couple years working retail, I am of the opinion that people simply do not read signs. I think you could put up a sign on the door that read “Ask cashier for free $100” and you would get maybe one person asking every day that sign is up.

They don’t have anything to do with one another except that the stupidity going on at the vegan restaurant was observed by the OP while he was protesting.

Well, the least you could have offered …


At my store, after closing we constantly get people yanking on the door. Now, one or two pulls, I understand, it’s what comes after that that I don’t understand. I’ll see them look at the posted hours, check the time then leave. A good chunk of them, though, will try pulling on the door a few more times. Some will knock or bang on the door. Many will yell through the glass (at that point we play ‘ignore the customer’*). What’s worse is when they come around to the other windows and start banging on them and yelling through the glass “I JUST NEED TO GRAB ONE THING”. Some will, after pulling on the door and banging on the window, call the store and ask what time we close. To anyone with a brain it’s clear the store is closed, even if you ignore the locked door, all the lights are turned off, people are sweeping and mopping, there’s big metal carts in the store as we pull things off the rack to bring into the backroom, employees have coats on. Just don’t get it.
*I’ve found it works better if you don’t engage the customer. If you never make eye contact you can just go on pretending that you didn’t hear them either. Once they see you, then you have to argue through the window “I just need one thing” “Sorry, we can’t unlock the door” “but-” “Sorry, we’re closed” and they stomp off. About once a year I’ll get an angry email or phone call about the rude employees that wouldn’t let them in at 7:02 to grab one thing and they were only 2 minutes late and should have been allowed to come in. My standard reply is that the employees are not allowed to unlock the door once it’s locked. Sometimes I’ll go further and explain that we have to have a ‘cutoff’ time at which we lock the doors and it’s 7:00. One lady (on the phone) argued that she was only 2 minutes late, so my question was 'how late is too late, you feel that we should let you in since you were only 2 minutes late, but what if you were 3 minutes late? 4? 10?"
It is a huge safety issue, people get robbed by letting ‘customers’ in after closing time. Money is moving from the register to the safe, employees have let their guard down a bit so sometimes robbers are the ones banging on the window asking if they can just grab one thing. Even if it’s not that, the people that ‘just need to grab some milk’ seem suddenly need 3 other things and spend 15 minutes milling around. Having 4 employees on the clock for another quarter hour so a customer can spend $5 isn’t worth it.

ETA, just to drive it home…if you get to a store and it’s closed, just walk a way. It’s not the employee’s fault and they can’t let you in. It’s not even your fault if you didn’t know when they closed, but when you started throwing a fit you’re just making an ass of yourself and making the employees really uncomfortable. And, I promise, if you complain to the manager/owner about it they’re going to (even if they apologize) stand behind their employees on this one.
Oh and I forgot about this one. A handful of times after pulling on the front door a few times, I’ve had customers walk in the backdoor (ya know, the one behind the building for deliveries and stuff). Luckily it’s usually while I’m there so I can go and confront them and very sternly get them right back out. It’s funny when they get mad at me about that “I just need one thing, why are you treating me like this” “Sir, we’re closed, you know that, you’re lucky I’m here, my employees are trained to call the police when people walk in the back door after closing time” (not true but I don’t think he’ll do it again).

I guess this is the reason why barbers have that rotating pole-sign. Perhaps other types of places need something like that.


Used to manage a Blockbuster Video. Perhaps you remember it? Not only was the inside of every Blockbuster Video in the country one of about 4 layouts, the New Release Wall was always - ALWAYS - a wall. Of New Releases. It was always at the very least the wall opposite the cashiers, and depending on the size of the store, covered some or all of the left and right hand walls as you walked to the back. The very walls themselves were painted or holding signs with foot high letters, subtly reading NEW RELEASES.

If I had a dolla for every time someone with a three year rental history walked in and asked me where the New Releases are… I coulda bought Netflix and we’d still have Blockbuster Videos.

Flip side to this.

I often drive past a business that has a lighted OPEN sign. You know, so people can tell handily if they are open, and proceed accordingly. Because they are not a 24 hour business, and it would help for customers to have an indication. The owners had to buy it, install it, pay for electricity.

The sign is lit 24 hours a day.

Much funnier version.
Turn off the sound and just enjoy the signs.


I’ve seen several of these in real life.

The joy of having a small business. I put up a sign years ago that says I reserve the right to refuse service to stupid people. The only person to ever comment on it is another small shop owner.

None of us read everything (or read everything immediately).

Every two bit, hustling, noisy, nagging son of a bitch is trying to slap information in front of our eyeballs every moment - and all the more so in commercial spaces like shops and shopping districts.

Learning to ignore half of what is thrust into our vision is an essential life skill for those of us who can read, else we’d go insane.

A vegan diet fucks up your vision, duh.

The “Eat Here and Get Gas” sign is between my current and childhood home.

My favorite is at a local liquor store on the cooler for the bags of ice… a small sign that reads “Also available warm.”


I’ve had bartenders tell me that people have returned the next day after reading the yellowed, ancient sign.