Career change to big cat handler -- how can I do it?

Factual Questions
1

I want to spend the rest of my life raising and caring for big cats – ocelots, leopards, cougars, cheetahs. Or llamas (I know they aren’t cats).

Where can I find such work, and how do I convince them to hire me? I am not a vet.

2

Is this as well as being a college professor or instead of?

Maybe you need to speak to the same guy who advised Mr Anchovy?

3

Casanova by Fellini, with Donald Sutherland, creates a huge sucking sound that can be heard from Uranus.

4

Needed:

  1. Whip
  2. Wooden chair
  3. Top hat
  4. Handlebar moustache
  5. Flaming hula hoop
5

Start with kittens.