Cat Physics

Photographic proof of this whole idea.

http://s564.photobucket.com/user/Trygolyte/media/physics-cat.jpg.html

There’s a pocket dimension somewhere in our house that our cat has learned to hide in. I’ve accounted for every cubic foot of volume in our house and yet the cat can still disappear, especially when it’s pill time.

The best place I’ve found them in is when they climb behind a dresser, desk, or chest of drawers and push the drawer out just enough to fit behind it. They don’t need much; I think they put their limbs in the pocket dimension. And cats get their jollies from sleeping in places that seem incredibly uncomfortable to us. So just make sure that you don’t squoosh them.

It’s some kind of quantum function thingy: a cat is always on the wrong side of a closed door.

Maybe there’s only one cat. It moves in and out of dimensions of time and space as we look at it, but it’s just the same one. And it’s probably half dead all the time also.

I have one of those, too, different cats use it though. I have thoroughly searched the house several times and have been about to go walking the neighborhood to see if they got out when I see the missing cat chillin’ in the middle of the living room. You weren’t there 10 seconds ago, cat!
On a side note, would it be possible to get certain posters banned from posting in cat threads?

It means that she is Canadian, eh!

I purchased a clothes iron, which came in a small box. My full size cat fit inside that box. How he did it is a mystery that defies Newtonian physics. Perhaps all cats a quantum cats.

Your cat is thinking with portals.

Reminds me of a semi-early internet meme: Bonsai Kitten, which outraged overly credulous people who would later find a great line to a Nigerian millionaire.

There’s a button you can get that answers this question. “Because cats read with their asses!”

Have you checked the box springs? As explained by the great Dr. Louis Camuti, cats like to hide in mattresses and box springs, and will work on any holes they find to create the perfect hiding place.

A friend of mine related a story that, he claims, proves that cats really do teleport.

The cat was happily sleeping on the floor when one of the house ferrets wandered into the room. (As anyone knows, ferrets are basically fur-covered slinkies with a random number generator for a brain and an overabundance of energy.)

The ferret sees the cat and apparently decides that bouncing on top of the little mattress was a splendid idea.

Picture it, a mostly white cat with black splotches in the favorite half curl. A ferret head pokes into frame, and then a streak of brindled fur moves across the floor at banzai!

The ferret lands on top of the cat (who is understandably startled).

You have a sandwich. Floor. Cat. Ferret.

Then suddenly, you have Floor. Ferret. Cat. All three are still in a direct vertical line.

My friend reports that he did not see the cat move, but obviously it did. (The ferret survived.)

Cats are physical manifestions of the true 6-dimensional reality, oscillating rapidly through their realspace of
[ul]
[li]Infinite Improbably*[/li][li]Total Uncertainty (which explains why some of their behavior is so difficult to observe, as noted by physicists some 80 years ago)[/li][li]Absurdity[/li][li]Intractability[/li][li]Perplexion (they move very rapidly between perplexed and perplexing)[/li][li]Claw (scaled linearly between clawsome and clawful)[/li][/ul]

*Never, ever, give a cat a cupcake, lest you accidentally recreate the Total Reality Vortex of Frogstar World B and truly come to be aware of how suffocating ly insignificant you are to the cat and to the universe as a whole – unless you can pass through Zarniwoop’s protection field at the Guide office on Betelgeuse.

This thread is very hazardous to my ‘Grumpy’ gene.

We have 8… or 9 …no, only 7 are showing but the dawg is looking unhappy…

Our cat can expand and contract regardless of temperature. She can occupy almost all the center of a single bed, and fit in a rather small basket, posing as a handtowel.

Until recently we had a Maine Coon Cat: Huge pile of fluff.

Watching it jump up on the bed was amazing. It went from standstill to “floating” in no time. It was like watching a Helium balloon. It just seemed to waft up onto the bed. None of this “converting kinetic energy into potential energy” nonsense. Small, constant velocity the whole way.

Meh. My Maine Coon defies Einstein and moves faster than light. Or maybe faster than I can process it. He left my side and reappeared halfway up a bush metres away with a bird in his jaws. This is a large cat yet he is the fastest hunter I’ve ever seen.

Course when I asked what he had, he opened his mouth and the bird fled. :smiley:

Edit: I was awoken at an early hour today by an unearthly scream to discover a proud Maine Coon with a terrified bird in my bedroom. Once again he wanted to talk about it and the bird escaped!

If that’s true, then that’s one confused kitty. In our house, he/she is tiny/huge, friendly/happy and shy/skiddish.
When kitty is the big/he, moving let alone, jumping is nearly out of the question. (Actually, that manifestation may just be a pillow, with legs.)
Tiny/she can fly. And spit. But, that’s for another day and thread.

Cats are also able to perform an an act similar to horror vacui (the filling of the entire surface of a space with detail). I notice that when I get up at night, the cat, who sleeps plastered to whichever side of me is facing her, will somehow (and without moving) flow into the space I’ve vacated. It’s much like a lava flow, or the ability of an egg, once it hits the floor, to increase tenfold in volume. She also increases in density and mass while doing this, so that it’s nearly impossible to move her back. Yet, she appears to be the same size as always. Is she accreting mass through some sort of worm hole?

LOL. This post is only made funnier because I know EXACTLY what your talking about.