I stopped watching the show for a while and started watching it again.
I think I’m pretty much caught up. What I’m really curious to know is what happened to Clark’s mom.
Also, feel free to add any other details you think I may have missed out on.
Thanks for any input.
She went to Washington DC as an appointed replacement senator for Kansas, and has really never been seen again, though she’s been mentioned occasionally. 
Apparently Annette O’Toole just thought she’d had enough of getting typecast as a Superman lady. 
It’s kind of too bad that they haven’t been able to bring her back for a guest spot. It’s not like senators never spend any time in the state that they’re representing, after all… :smack: but then, Clark’s been spending a lot of time over in Metropolis. He still does live at the farm in Smallville though.
I can’t think of anything else that seems hugely worth mentioning unprompted.
Okay, can we go back a bit? Last I saw the show, Lana and Lex were about to get married. Presumably the shit hit the fan. What happened since then.
Lex is “dead”. Lana was pregers with Lex’s baby, but actually she wasn’t. Lana got trained as a ninja. Chloe is a meteor freak that can bring people back to life. Kara (supergirl) hung around last year a bunch, but we haven’t seen her this season.
How did Lana et trained as a ninja? Does she wear a ninja outfit? Does she have those mini-smoke bombs to create puff of smoke and disappear?
Can’t remember exactly, but Lana was sick of Clark & Lex more or less. She got away from Lex, went into hiding and hired this guy who could train her to overcome pain & torture & let go of Clark once and for all. After that, Lana decided she was ready for some real power, so she found this other guy who was working on one of Lex’s projects. It was a suit that gives the wearer super powers like Clark. She got the suit grafted on (how does she go to the bathroom now?) and decided she & Clark could fight evil together as equals finally. Lex was too crafty for that, and designed the suit to absorb kryptonite radiation until it became too dangerous for Clark & Lana to ever be close again. I think that’s the last we saw of Lana.
A short synopsis of the previous few seasons
Clark and Lana break up
589 people get knocked unconcious.
Clark and Lana get back together.
4,257 people go to the hospital
Clark and Lex are totally gay lovers.
Clark and Lana break up.
Clark loses his power 234 times
Clark gains his power back 234 times.
4,895,289 puns are made
15,289,273 inside jokes are dropped about capes, or flying, or “supermen” or men of steel.
Clark and Lana get back together (this time for realz, yo)
Lex and Clark are completely the gayest of gay lovers.
Clark and Lana break up.
Clark tells his secret to 15 people. 7 people die. 8 people get amnesia.
Clark and Lois seem interested in each other.
Lana fakes her death to get away from this god forsaken hellhole.
Lana says “just kidding! not really dead.” Clark and Lana get back together
I mean, imagine Liberace and Ru Paul’s lovechild doing it with the gimp guy from Pulp Fiction. Nowhere near as gay as the love between Clark and Lex.
Lana goes into a coma.
Lana wakes up from a coma.
Lex gets impaled by Clark’s long, rockhard icicle.
Clark, with no serious journalism experience and a single year of community college under his belt, manages to score a reporting job at the biggest newspaper in the tri-state area.
Clark and Lana break up. She freaks out like a ninja and like kills everyone in the town.
Clark and Lana get back together.
Clark learned 43 very important lessons about the use of his power, each of which contradicted at least one previous lesson.
Chloe gets ignored.
I think that about catches you up to the latest season.
What??? Chloe gets ignored?!?
Nah, Ender left out quite a bit about Chloe & the Kryptonian serial killer and the totally burgeoning bromance between can’t-keep-his-shirt-on Oliver Queen & always-manages-to-catch-him-shirtless Clark.
Well, she’s in most every episode, but I’m not entirely sure what she’s there for. She has super powers that she never uses, or conveniently forgets to use when necessary (any may or may not still have them, it’s up in the air). She wandered off from her dream of being a reporter because they needed Lois to move into that spot. Basically she’s been floating from plot to plot for years now and only sticks around the show because she’s everyone’s favorite character, not because the writers actually give her anything useful to do.
Think Xander. If, you know, that were everyone’s favorite character.
ETA: and I just tried to catch everyone up to the start of this last season. I could have gone further, but I lost track of the number of unconcious/hospitalized people there were.
At least for a while there, she was actually in every episode- more than any other character. Have there been any episodes without her? I can’t think of one offhand.
I used to refer to it as The Lex Luthor Show, because he was so much more interesting than Clark. Lex got weird and boring, and then gone… so now it’s The Chloe Show. I just wish she’d *do *something.
No, he’s not.
A) No matter how many other ways the show is allowed to totally screw up the Superman mythos, killing off Lex Luthor permanently is not among them.
B) The show has made it rather clear that Lex is alive, in some form. I seem to remember at least one episode that showed some brain-in-a-box or something conversing with some henchman or someone.
Jimmy is not dead, either.
Didn’t it turn out that Jimmy was actually his brother?
Do you think that I use “superfluos” quotes in “my” everyday writing? 