I do find it curious that you were put off by my asserting my judgement over my husband’s, but seemed ok with those who would have the husband asserting his judgement over his wife’s. And that you found my suggestion we’d talk it over reasonable, but that wasn’t necessary for husbands to talk it over with their wives and come to agreement for it to be reasonable. Sometimes “putting me before all others” includes himself, when it’s really important to me.
I’m not accusing you of anything malicious, I just found it an interesting response to my unapologetic assertion that I expected my husband to respect my wishes.
It is not the same thing. I would have no problem with a wife asserting her judgment over her husband’s in the same circumstances. The gender or marriage labels of the people involved here have nothing to with my opinion. Everything I’ve said applies if it is the elderly husband lying alone on the sidewalk with no family or friends or EMTs around. The OP chose the gender and roles here, my reply would be the same if they were reversed or involved two women or two men.
That’s the point. If this delay would make you too late for the urgent task, so would a weather delay (unknown when the tickets were booked.) Money is iffier, but going broke for this trip is iffy too, especially if both were going. Maybe the sister could help.
The real thing here is the uncertainty of the medical condition and the order of concern.
The judgment issue here is medical judgment, which neither the husband or the wife is qualified to make. I’ve more than once run into medical issues far more debilitating than would be apparent to the person with them. Once the true state of the injury is known, I’m fine with going with the wife’s judgment.
But, are you, as in the hypothetical, in you 70s? That might make a difference in how you feel about the situation (though, otoh, people have been known to become more stubborn with age). You are also in a fair bit of pain, which will cloud your judgement. And one might consider that your husband may face difficulty dealing well with this task that your sister cannot handle, because he will spend the entire time there worrying about you – if he might end up messing it up, it might well be better not to have him go.
I am under the impression that the tickets were booked fairly recently, given the urgency indicated in the OP, and as such, weather shouldn’t be that hard to predict. Besides, airlines will rebook you onto a new flight if they cancel for weather, they don’t have to do so if you rebook because you didn’t show up.
As far as money goes, the OP said that the sister will pay the money back for the plane tickets. If things fall through, and the sister is left hanging, she may not pay (or be able to pay for) for the tickets that you did not use.
I’m not sure why the possibility of another disaster has anything to do with anything. If the sister had asked someone to walk over they could have been involved in a nasty accident involving a falling anvil, would that tiny possibility mean it’d be OK if they decided to go to the pub instead?
Without knowing what the ‘urgent task’ is, I really don’t know what choice would be best, it’s judging possibility of my hypothetical spouse being seriously hurt and abandoned, vs. some event which is ‘urgent’ but without knowing anything about what’d happen if it wasn’t done. Both spouse and sister think it’s very important, my spouse thinks it’s more important that their injury, that’s all I know.
I forgot the problem with the hip. That could conceivably be the reason she can’t get up. But with no one ambulatory staying with her, there’s no one to flag the ambulance if they miss her. And no one to hold her still if she gets confused and crawls away from the road where she can’t be seen. If she goes into shock, there’s no one to call 911 to report the added urgency or to start CPR. And what happens if the pain just gets to be too much and she starts screaming. At some point, screaming isn’t a choice, it’s a reaction.
I’m guessing that, should I leave, and should things go south, I could be charged with negligence, at the least, and negligent homicide possibly.
This is a more urgent version of the way I was taught to drop people off after giving them rides, especially at night. You drop a person off - then you wait until they’re actually in their house, before driving away. You don’t leave them standing on the porch, rummaging in their purse for their keys or waiting for someone to open the door. You make sure they get inside, just in case.
Yes, it’s good that an ambulance has been called. But until the injured person is in the ambulance, you don’t leave, unless there’s someone you trust who’s uninjured and willing to take responsibility. You don’t leave a prone person waiting for a possible ambulance.
Ask yourself what would be likely to happen if you asked the 911 operator to stay on the line with your wife while you catch a plane, just in case the ambulance can’t find her lying there, prone as she is. I guarantee that operator is going to tell you to miss the plane and keep your wife under observation while the ambulance comes. Just in case.
