Ah, the sweet words of affection that are traded between two lovers. Whether it be cute pet names, expressions of gratitude, whatever, they lift us up and make our hearts soar.
Okay, let’s be real. Here’s an example of an email conversation I had this morning with my man:
Stickboy: I have an ant issue again. Last night I nearly ripped my nose off in the shower.
Scout: How did you nearly rip your nose off?
Stickboy: I was washing my face as I normally do. On an upswing action, my pinkie caught one of my nostrils. Luckily I caught myself in time.
Scout: Okay, so it has nothing to do with the ants??
Stickboy: No. That would be silly.
Scout: Naturally. As if “catching your nostril on the upswing” is not.
Stickboy: Hey, it could happen to anyone. Don’t disregard shower safety.
Scout: It’s not so much the action that’s silly (I agree, shower safety is of vital importance) as it is the phraseology that’s silly. Read it out loud. I’m about ready to giggle every time I think of the phrase “catching my nostril on the upswing”! And here I thought your two original sentences actually had something to do with each other.
Stickboy: You’re a nut.
Scout: Oh yeah, it’s all me.
Feel free to post random conversations you’ve had, bizarre shower incidents, whatever! It was just too funny to pass up.
Actually that whole conversation had me giggling Scout1222now I have to explain to my SO what I was giggling at.
Ok, this probably is a “you had to be there one”. First of all, if either myself or my SO says “pass the whatever”, the standard response is "if I could pass whatever, I’d be a millionaire.
Me and SO in the bath one night,
Me: could you pass the shampoo please (the shampoo was green)
SO(meant to say)if I could pass green shampoo I’d be a martian, instead say’s
If I could pass green shampoo I’d be a mars bar. Well, honest it was funny at the time…
Ok this is something similiar yet entirely different.
One of my dogs- Lou is 12 and sometimes I don’t think her vision is so good. I came in and bent down to pet her. She enthusiastically jumped up to greet me and lick my face but I guess she misjudged the distance and ended up catching my nostril with her bottom tooth on the upswing. You know the long one on the bottom. The incisor? Whatever you call it her tooth scraped the inside of my nose and it brought tears to my eyes.
I yelped so she ran and hid from me cause she thought I was scolding her. It took much coaxing a piece of bologna to get her out from under the end table.
I must confess, this is not the first shower incident that stickboy has had since I’ve known him. About a month ago, he was shaving in the shower. Apparently he slipped (God, I have no idea how), and in the process of falling, sliced a good ribbon of skin off of his chin. Had a nice scab there for about a week.
Good heavens. Believe it or not, I did actually catch my nostril on the upswing. Right nostril, with one of those little nose pads they put on wire-rimmed glasses.
I was at the bank. In the process of getting ready to leave, I went to put my sunglasses on, and I guess I missed, because the glasses hit me in the face a bit below my nose on the first try. One of the nose pads went RIGHT INTO my nostril and I nearly pulled my damned nose off.
Ouch, and how embarrassing.
I’m still kind of amazed that this thread would appear on this subject following that incident. Hee!
Bah! This is nothing!
In junior high, we used to play “line soccer” in the gym. We’d line up in two rows facing each other & one guy from each side would come out in the middle to try to kick a ball across the opposing line.
Well, I tried to block a ball with my head as someone else tried to kick it. His foot caught my nose and ripped the septum, turning my nose inside out. The funny thing is, I didn’t realise how bad it was. I remember asking if I was bleeding. I sometimes wonder what it looked like.
Anyway, I got stitches, and things turned out ok. I think the guy who kicked me was shaken up by it–blamed himself a little bit. Which is funny–I was the one dumb enough to try to block a ball with my face.
Okay, guys. At least in sports it might make sense that you could injure yourself. (although, Krunk, it sounds like golf may not be your bag if you’re hitting yourself in the nose)
Oh, and Creaky, fret not, I’ve done the same thing with my glasses. Usually it’s not enough to give the ol’ noggin a kickback, but I’ve done it nonetheless.
I’m not convinced, however, that it’s normal to almost rack yourself in this manner while in the shower.
Not that turning your nose inside out is made any better by the fact that it was done whilst playing soccer, of course. Ouch.
Um, I think I’m actually the only person in the world has managed to kick himself in the face. You have to be specific about body parts when you mention “upswing.”
How am I EVER going to clean the coffee out of this keyboard?
eirroc, LMAO!
I have caught a little nostril with a hairbrush. OMG, it hurt like hell but I couldn’t tell anybody! WARNING- TMI APPROACHING! I have also damn near scraped a nipple off with said hairbrush. I was in a hurry, and it was while I was nursing so the boobs were big and in the way (I wasn’t used to them being in the way, trust me) and I caught it a good one.
Perhaps I should find a hairstyle that doesn’t involve a dangerous weapon…
I have very small pinky fingers - on most people, their pinky comes up to that first line (top most) of their 4th finger, at the first knuckle. My pinkies start a little low and only go up to that lower knuckle line on my 4th finger. Result: extremely small pinkies.
So I grab the bar of neutrogena and rub it between my hands and then wash my face. Wham! Pinky in the nostril. It’s easy to forget those little things until they are full speed ahead in your nostril.
Most times it happened, it was usually with a crescent kick. Caught the end of my nose with my shin as it swept past. I did however, once whack myself in the face with the upswing of an axe kick. The crescent kick was usually more embarassing, though, because it would make my eyes water and cause a sneeze.
When Mr. Rilch and I first started living together, I came downstairs one night after a shower, with a towel turban on my head. When I figured it had absorbed all the water, I unwrapped it, and a corner of it caught an angle lamp, which was precariously balanced on the top of a stack of rickety milk crates. The lamp swung around and hit me in the eye, giving me a faint shiner.
I felt compelled to tell the story to everyone I encountered before they asked. As an explanation, it would have sounded too much like one of those “I ran into a door” yarns.
Mermaid, something similar happened to me at the last dog agility match I went to. Our star dog, Katie (Australian shepherd/blue heeler cross), has a trick whereby if you put your face near hers and say “Kiss!” she’ll lick you in the face. So we were getting ready to have our turn in the ring, and I leaned down, ready to say “Kiss!” (you know, for luck). Well, Katie was a little excited and jumped up just before I could get the word out. Result: her muzzle (with very hard teeth right behind it) crunched full-on into my nose. Tears sprung into my eyes, but I held it together enough not to scream and scare her. Hurt like a web-footed bastard, though. Oh, and she won first in her class that run, so it all turned out OK.
umm, I was unfortunate enough to have a tree catch my nose, **TWICE
I sometimes wonder what it looked like.