I’ve had cats continuously since the 60s, mostly altered males. But the only time I lived with a woman was when I took care of my mother in the last decade of her life. But in spite of “hating all cats,” my Russian blue took a liking to her and slept with her every night. They became very attached to each other, and the cat truly missed her when she passed away.
We are a two human male, one feline male house. The cat prefers to sleep with me, sit on my lap, etc. he prefers my partner for feeding time, does tricks for him and not me, runs to him when he’s scared because of an earthquake, fireworks, etc. He’s bonded with both of us, just in different ways.
Is there a difference in size or voice tone between you and your partner?
He’s 2" taller but I’m about 25 heavier. I’d say our voices are roughly the same register. (2nd tenor singing voices)
The food thing for example, when he wants food he sits and meows at my partner, not me. Every time. At bedtime, he jumps up and curls up next to me. Again, every time.
My dear kitty is attached to me and no other. She isn’t shy around other people, but I am Her Person. I spent a few months abroad a few years ago, and left her with my parents. By the time I came home, she was starting to become affectionate towards my father. As soon as I walked in the door, that went right out the window, heh.
Both our orange big males love my hubby…ive come to relize its a male dominance scent…i beleive in the wild the males tend to keep in packs with other males, and grooming other males is a habit of theres…our 2 males will rub up and down on my huibby and snuggle his neck trying to smell him and i get nothing…it has to do with scent of a male…
Who do zombie cats like best?
We’ve always had one cat that liked to sleep beside or – more usually – on Pepper Mill. First it was Maggie, then Clarence, now Hestia. Hestia will jump up on the bed and announce her presence with a loud “Meow!”, then solicit some head scratching before lying down on Pepper, or on the bolster next to her, or in the valley of the blankets between the two (she’ll also get up during the night and drink from my water glass. I keep a postcard balanced atop the glass, so I know when she’s done this)
When she’s on the couch, one of the cats will be lying near her (not in her lap – none of our cats have been lap cats) Our cats definitely prefer her company.
Our male cats have always been the gregarious ones, seeking out new people and visitors (our girls’ first reaction is to run ands hide) Attention hogs.
Cats take strong likes to one person. They clearly have favorites. And it’s not always logical. I’ve known people who dote on their cat, feed it, play with it, brush it and the cat likes someone else better.
But you can take comfort in the cat like system has a hierarchy. That is the cat likes you, it just doesn’t like you best.
So let’s say the cat likes you, then your wife, then your daughter.
If you were to leave the house for a week or more, you’d see the cat suddenly like your wife the best, then your daughter. Of course the second you came back the cat would dump your wife and like you best again.
I have seen this a lot and I don’t think it’s a male/female thing. It may be an imprint thing or simply as people say “Cats is weird.”
My house cat, growing up, loved smoke. If someone came over who smoked, the cat would jump over to that person and just hang out. She also loved to watch the cigarette smoke burn.
I lived on a farm and we had four semi-feral barn cats and those cats acted like animals 
My male cat hates everybody. EVERYBODY. He hates my mom, and no cat has ever hated my mom. He will hiss conversationally (ears forward, not showing any aggressiveness, it’s like a feline f-you) if someone is in the house.
But this same cat really seems to like my landlord. If the landlord comes by, kitty hangs out by us, and comes over for scritches.
The landlord doesn’t usually like cats, so maybe there’s something there.
Desmond Morris had this theory that people who don’t like cats then to indicate that narrowing their eyes, which indicates acquiescence to cats. The cat looks at the face to see if it is OK to jump up and gets what they interpret as an indication to go ahead.
Could be. But now the landlord approaches the cat, and the cat goes for his attention, so I think he’s (the landlord) just never had a cat like him.