Not me but apparently my perfect in every way 12 YO daughter was caught cheating on her Spanish test.
Of course she claims she only opened her desk to get a new pen as hers wasn’t working while the teacher sees this as proof she must have been looking at her notes.
On the one hand I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt as she’s never done anything like this before (at least that I know of), but then again what else is a 12 YO girl gonna do? Cop to it?
Her mother is going to go ape shit
Well, if she was actually cheating, that’s a really good age to learn not to do it.
Just wait until she’s hiding cheat sheets in her pens and mechanical pencils. 
What is the teacher’s story? I would definitely hold off on the apeshit until I knew what the teacher had seen. As a teacher, I have seen some situations that looked hinky until explained. If she has been a straight-arrow kid up till now, the teacher should have some proof other than she opened her desk to get a pen.
As a practical matter, were there relevant materials in her desk at the time of the incident? If so, could she have accessed them from the position she was in when caught?
If the child was sitting in the desk and just reached down to grab a pen, that’s one thing. If she leaves her seat, and appeared to be flipping pages or reading something inside the storage part of the desk, that’s something else.
Did she have her Spanish notes or book open inside the desk? Did the teacher test the first pen to see if it worked or not? It seems kind of irresponsible for a teacher to accuse a student of cheating without some kind of real proof. Opening a desk seems almost too obvious.
I remember once in middle school being afraid I’d not pass a geography test so a few hours before the test I wrote out all the answers and made sure to push real hard so that I could see the indentation on the next page in my notebook, which is what I would tear out to use for the test. Well, funny enough, writing everything out like that was just what I needed to help me memorize the state capitals or whatever. I realized right before the test that I actually knew the stuff and ended up using a “clean” piece of paper, figuring that even if I got a couple wrong it was better than the risk of getting caught cheating. Felt better too.
OK - a little more detail.
Her notes were in the desk but not opened (again this is darling daughter’s side of the story). She claims she just reached in to get the pen.
I haven’t spoken to her teacher yet but absolutely will be doing so. I have a feeling the stories may differ in the details.
Anyway, if I do decide to give her the benefit of the doubt I’ve made it very clear to her that even the appearance of impropriety is not acceptable and that in the future she will absolutely be held accountable no matter how good her story is.
I’m off to schedule a parent-teacher conference; I’m curious/afraid to see what the teacher has to say……
Cheating on a spanish test hmm… thats a slippery slope. things like that could lead to… becoming senator of massachusetts:D
Once, when I was in the fifth grade, the teacher had left the answers to a math test on her desk. Everyone, and I do mean everyone in the class had a look at them. When I got home that evening I was wracked with guilt. I told my mother what happened but only mentioned that others had cheated as well, I didn’t say that everyone cheated. My mother said that if I felt so bad about it we could call the teacher and tell her what happened, so we did. The teacher said she would talk to the class about cheating down the road, and I slept well that night.
The discussion about cheating never came…
Good luck Zoid - I think you’re gonna need it.
I hope the teacher is clever, rational and observant or this could go really badly.
What’s the punishment for cheating in the 5th grade?
Detention?
If so (or if it doesn’t go on her record- which it probably won’t), no harm no foul. Let her serve her time “and learn her lesson” which is- if it looks kinda suspicious, people will be stupid enough to blame you for it, so it’s best to just avoid the mess in the first place.
When I was 12 I cheated on a test and was caught. I was a really good student - not sure why I needed to cheat.
Anyway, being the big goody-two-shoes that I was, I folded right away and confessed to everything.
Is your daughter a goody-two-shoes? If she is, I believe her when she says she wasn’t cheating. If she was, she’d admit to it.
When I was caught cheating, I always figured I was being punished for being caught bit and not for the cheating bit.
While this is sometimes true, it’s sounds like a horrible lesson for a 12-year-old-especially if her parents don’t lift a finger to help her and tell her to submit to an unearned punishment.
This has to be a really tough one, zoid. I hope you feel sure of what happened after talking to the teacher.
When I was in school, yes even in 7th grade it was quite clear that we were not allowed to look around in our desks during tests. If we needed something, like a pencil, or pen, we would raise our hands and ask. JMHO, her story sounds completely fishy.
BTW, I was a giant goody goody in 7th grade and occasionally, strategically would manipulate the shit out of people who believed that a person who rarely lies, never lies. “Oh it’s not possible HA did that! She has good grades/such nice friends/a clean record/respect for authority/blah blah blah.” Cue righteous indignation at unfairness of the world (female teachers)/piteous weeping (male teachers) + internal 12 year old smirking.
Even if she did nothing wrong intentionally, time to learn the phrase “appearance of impropriety.” You should avoid actions that look shady to reasonable people, and hunting around in your desk during a test without first asking permission is one of those things.
I don’t see getting detention as the bad part: I see the totally screwed up grade. A zero on a test can totally ruin it in some classes.
This sort of thing can be critical. Teaching the kid about “appearance of impropriety” can leave her thinking that her parents obviously don’t trust her, as kids at that age still tend to think in absolutes. You’ve got to walk a thin line if you want to go that route. You have to convey that you believe her story, and that you’ve done what you can to dispute it.
It’s also hard to do that, and not convey the idea that you’ll bail them out any time they get in trouble. I think you need to convey the idea that you are only doing what you expect her to do for herself in the future. You are only helping to make sure her side is heard.
That’s the first thing that occurred to me. I guess now would be the best time to teach the kid not to drink and drive.
Yeah, I gotta say, if the teacher said “no opening your desk during the test,” and she opened the desk, that sounds to me like an open-and-shut (sorry) case. Teachers really have better things to do than playing Holmes to 30 wanna-be Moriarties out there, and when they set up rules like “keep your desk closed during the test,” it’s exactly to avoid this sort of fuzzy situation. Deciding that your situation is different and that it’s okay to open YOUR desk is both unfair and unwise. If the teacher allows the squeaky-clean student to get away with it but not the at-risk student, then charges of favoritism will absolutely be justified. And if the kiddo decided to flout the rule, even if she weren’t cheating, it’d be unwise to put the teacher in such a situation.
If she was cheating, it’s excellent for her to learn that a sterling reputation is no defense against out-of-bounds behavior. And if she weren’t cheating, it’s excellent for her to learn that she doesn’t get special treatment in this regard.