There have been many games shows that have produced special “celebrity” episodes. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire has done this, as have Wheel of Fortune and (gak!) Jeopardy!.
I wonder what a celebrity version of Survivor would look like. Like other shows, I imagine the format would be a little changed. The prize money would go to charity, the game would have only 7 players in one tribe, with the length of their stay somewhat abbreviated so that they can get back to their TV shows and movies. The reward challenge would always be aimed at the group.
What would it be like?
Let’s see, for the first edition of Celebrity Survivor, let’s have it in Alaska. We’ll let it be filmed during the spring and summer so that no one dies of frostbite and exposure.
At the first tribal council, William Shatner is voted out after failing to start a fire with a phaser gun prop he “liberated” from the set of “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.”
At the second tribal council, Tom Green is voted out after the rest of the group is repelled by his attempts to perform anal stimulation of a caribou using various props, and to prevent him making good on his promise to cook “booger pies” for breakfast.
At the thrid tribal council, which takes place in a new location after the old one was damaged by a herd of angry caribou with sore asses, an alliance is formed, and boots out Brittany Spears, in retaliation for her muffing the group reward challenge, the prize which would have provided everyone with an Internet connection to their agents. After the show is over, she returns to the lower 48 to make an album about her Alaskan experiences that somehow manages to sound exactly like her previous two.
The fourth tribal council is canceled when Calista Flockhart, after having lost twelve pounds, is lost when a strong wind blows from the north, picks her up, and carries her away like a human tumbleweed. The remaining tribe members begin to regret ignoring her pleas for that last cup of raisins. Since her absence leaves a vacancy in the jury (and a potentially inconvenient even number of jurors), her spot is filled in by a broomstick with her nametag. Affixed to the broomstick by duct tape is a cell phone, through which her agent will cast her vote by proxy.
The fifth tribal council features the tribe voting out Rosie O’Donnell after deciding they can no longer stand listening to her constantly singing Broadway show tunes and asking others to join in.
At the last tribal council, the jury renders their verdict. The champ is Sigourney Weaver, who narrowly edges out Haley Joel Osment (“I see skinny people”) in the voting. Her charity prize is donated to the JDT Circumcision Musuem, where the feature exhibit is a 27-foot tall pile of foreskins.
(I can easily imagine other versions of Survivor…)