As I’m watching tonight’s Dodgers-Phillies game, a Phillies batter breaks his bat and pieces go all over the field.
Vin Scully says, “You talk about celery stalks at midnight, that bat shattered in to tiny litle pieces.”
Can anyone parse that statement?
I know that “Celery stalks at midnight” is both the title of an old Doris Day hit (from 1940) and somewhat popular children’s book of recent vintage.
As WAG the main refrain was “Celery Stalks Along the Highway.” which the entire band shouts out at a certain point. The image of the shattered bat and the visual metaphor of scattered “celery stalks along the highway” was probably what he was referring to.
But he definitely said “Celery Stalks at Midnight”. He didn’t say highway.
I’m not sure what the whole phrase means, but I’m pretty certain that the double meaning of “Celery stalks” has to do with it.
There is a pun in there, because “stalks” can be either a noun or a verb. So “celery stalks” is a familiar crunchy snack, but “celery stalks at midnight” conjures up the vision of celery creeping about under cover of darkness. I don’t know why Scully brought it up in that context though, but I don’t know why he says a lot of the things he says.
heeheehee
My husband hates celery.
“Celery Stalks At Midnight”
heeheehee
You want parsing? I’ll give you parsing.
“You talk about celery stalks at midnight, that bat shattered in to tiny litle pieces.”
The sentence consists of two independent clauses, which you have joined with a comma. That’s normally forbidden – the second phrase should either be a separate sentence or the two clauses should be separated by a semicolon. Also, in the second clause, the word you’re looking for is “into.” However, we’ll set that aside for now. Presumably the part you’re asking about is the first part, with the celery in it.
Subject: You
Verb: talk
Adverbial prepositional phrase, modifying the verb: “about celery stalks”
[preposition: about]
[object of preposition: stalks]
[adjective modifying the object of the preposition: celery]
Adverbial prepositional phrase, modifying the verb: “at midnight.”
[preposition: at]
[object of preposition: midnight]
The pun, of course, comes in because “stalks” can also be used as a verb. If it were being used as a verb, the sentence is parsed, and probably punctuated, slightly differently:
"You talk about ‘celery stalks at midnight.’ "
In this case there is the same main subject-verb clause “You talk.”
The rest of the sentence is an adverbial prepositional phrase. The preposition, as before, is the word “about.” This time, however, the object of the preposition is the noun clause “celery stalks at midnight.” The subject of THAT clause is, of course, “celery.” The verb is “stalks,” modified by the adverbial prepositional phrase “at midnight,” consisting of the preposition “at” and the object of the preposition “midnight.”
Got anything else you want parsed?
This material *will * be included on the mid-term exam.
thunderous applause
Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.
James Kilpatrick once referred to awkward grammar during a live baseball broadcast as “pitchin’ English.”
Vin Scully is one of the best, and he’s been at it for over half a century. I will gladly allow him an occasional gaffe, such as misquoting a 1940 song. In a recent game against the Cardinals, Vin consistently muffed Mark Grudzielanek’s name, but what the hey…
I’ll hazard a guess, even though IANAbaseball fan.
Celery stalks at midnight would presumably make a conspicuous amount of noise (crunch, crunch), which the snacker would be hard-put to hide, and which would be readily identifiable.
A bat shattering into splinters would also presumably make a loud, easily identifiable sound. Bonus incrimination points kick in if the bat had been corked or otherwise illegally tampered with.
Maybe he just meant the bat got shredded like it was celery. When people have to constantly say colourful exclamatory things constantly a lot of gibberishy things come out. Maybe in the back of his mind cabbage was turning into coleslaw and splinters of bat were going to be stuffed with cheesewhiz and talk about celery was sponaneous and then stalks at midnight naturally followed. Sometimes when I’m alone in the car I do colour commentary and that’s the type of thing I say. “Woah Nelly Furtado! Mister excitement in the minivan is in a cutting-off mood today, folks! Talk about my son is on the honor role and I’m going to crash into someone.” That’s why they call it color commentary.
Vin meant that the bats sound like celery crunching when they shatter. He just said it again 30 seconds ago, and elaborated about the sound.
Or maybe he was referring to this children’s book.
Oh Bunnicula, how they soon forget.
Did that series ever end? Years after I stopped reading, another book came out, and then another. It simply will not die.
Yes and no. The Bunnicula series only had six books (well, the picture books don’t count do they?):
Bunnicula
Howliday Inn
Celery Stalks at Midnight
Return to Howliday Inn
Nighty-Nightmare
Bunnicula Strikes Again
However, there’s a spin-off series with Howe, a puppy from one of the Howliday inn books narrating instead of Harold, Tales From the House of Bunnicula:
It Came from Beneath the Bed
Invasion of the Mind Swappers from Asteroid 6
Howie Monroe and the Doghouse of Doom
Screaming Mummies of the Pharaoh’s Tomb II
Bud Barkin, Private Eye
The Odorous Adventures of Stinky Dog
Please continue to post in a parsely manner. Or manor, if you prefer. Not too much, but not too sparsely, either.
In a parsely manner? Let’s not make a big dill of it.
This is turning into a serious waste of thyme.
That’s sage advice. Let’s not bay at the moon.