The Catholic Church’s position on celibacy until marriage is often mentioned as unusual. In a discussion with some friends it was mentioned that their denomination of Christianity (can’t remember which, but “mainstream”) didn’t mention sex outside of marriage as a sin. I was pretty sure that fornication was considered sinful among most religions, and certainly Christianity.
What is the “official” stance of Christian denominations besides Roman Catholicism, and non-Christian religions, on celibacy before or outside of marriage?
I believe all official Christian denominations consider sex outside of marriage to be sinful. However, few of them are as in-your-face about it as the Catholics. For example, a Catholic who was “living in sin” with the knowledge of his or her parish priest would not, I believe, be allowed to take communion. I cannot imagine this happening in your typical Presbyterian church, however, there are other Protestant denominations where it might.
By “official” I mean those recognized by their own church’s government–there are splinter groups and maverick churches that might see things differently, like the one that ordained Sinead O’Connor as a priest.
I’m not so sure about other demoninations, but I went to a Baptist-run school, so I can tell you what I was taught.
According to this denomination, any sex outside of lawful marriage is a sin. If you’re doin’ it before you’re married, then it’s fornication, which is as equally bad as doin’ it with someone other than your spouse (adultery). They also taught us that even THINKING about having sex outside of marriage was a sin, for you have “lust in your heart”, and thinking about doing something sinful is the same as doing the deed as far as judgement is concerned.
In Judaism, any and all sexual activity is sinful with the sole exception of with one’s spouse.
Not all activity is sinful to the same degree, however. Even thinking about it is wrong, but not as bad as masturbation, which is not as bad as pre-marital, which is not as bad as extra-marital.
I’m Methodist and I’ll second what Keeve said. Basically, sex before marriage bad, or sex with someone other than your wife is worse. I’ve never known anyone to be told not to take communion as pretty much everything is forgivable. As for masturbation, I remember my pastor being asked about it during a barbeque by one of the adults. He proceeded to tell a dirty joke. Apparently, he didn’t consider it a big deal.
Just to be annoying, doesn’t “celibate” simply mean “unmarried”? (From Latin “caelebs”, apparently.) Oh, I’m such a pedant, got as much brain as a dead ant…
I don’t know who you are Cylen, but you’re right.
Celibacy is refraining from marriage. (Theoretically you have all the sex you want.)
Chastity is refraining from unlawful sex. (Again, you can have all the sex you want, but only with your legal spouse.)
Abstinence or Continence is refraining from any sexual intercourse. (No sex, but I guess you can think about it.)
The easy way to remember this is: Nuns are married to God, they are vowed to Chastity. Monks are vowed to Celibacy, they cannot marry and therefore have no legitimate heirs. This proably was more important in the Middle Ages, when heirs were taken more seriously. In modern usage the distinctions have become blurred, which is quite unfortunate.
Back on topic, I cannot imagine where you got the idea that Judaism and Islam don’t forbid pre-marital and extra-marital sex. Most religions control sexuality in some fashion, I hope you find someone to post about a religion that does not because I am curious to know of any. Perhaps I’ll convert
I have no idea whether this site is the normative view of Buddhism or just one person’s or group’s perspective, but it dows have a brief section dealing with extramarital sex. The Five Precepts.
Most Catholic parish priests (and I count several among my friends, family, and acquaintances) are fairly realistic, and are not about to throw a perfectly good, collections-paying parishoner out on the street for a little discreet “trial marriage.” They do, of course, counsel marriage, and will gladly perform the services inside the church when you get around to it.
My impression of the Pagan religions is that they celebrate sex. They consider it a gift of the human condition, rather than a distraction from duty (to be tolerated only for the propagation of the species).
A quick web search yielded an article from the Church of all Worlds, a Pagan group in the USA, discussing “strategies for open relationships”. The attitude seems to be, “use truth and honesty in whatever relationship you choose to set up”.
To me this is completely compatible with Christian monogamy; after all, if one chooses an exclusive relationship with one other person, or to follow the tenets of a religion which forbids sex outside of marriage, one should live up to those choices.
Personally, I suspect that a relationship of depth and trust (essentially, a marriage) with more than one person is more difficult than a relationship with only one. But I could be wrong… I’m still working on learning to be in a relationship with one other person.
I didn’t mean to suggest that people who were having sex outside of marriage (or divorced or anything else that the Church doesn’t sanction) would not be allowed to attend the church, just that they would not be allowed to participate in the Eucharist. We were married in a Presbyterian church, and had been married for over 10 years, and my husband was not allowed to take communion until we were remarried in an official ceremony by a Catholic priest. (And, yes, I know they don’t refer to this as a “remarriage” but that’s what it is.)
My impression of the Pagan religions is that they celebrate sex. They consider it a gift of the human condition, rather than a distraction from duty (to be tolerated only for the propagation of the species).**
As a Wiccan, I want to concur with this. The general point is; what you do in the privacy of your bedroom with another consenting adult is your business.
There’s also the flip side of this; responsibility. When you have sex, do it wisely. Use protection. Get yourself tested and cured, if necessary. And wait 'til you feel it’s right for you. Don’t be pressured into it.
Sex is another wonderful aspect of being a human adult. That also means to use it wisely.
It is more difficult, because you’re actually maintaining several relationships rather than just one. Not to mention you get no support nor framework from our culture.
Outside the Jewish-Christian-Muslim sphere, sex before marriage is considered sinful by at least a few groups. I have read that the Cheyenne were one of the few N. American tribes to value chastity as a virtue. Although not strictly a religion, Confucianism is known for encouraging sexual morality (or prudery, depending on your point of view).
On the other hand, in pre-Christian Scandinavia, it was common practice to delay marriage until the girl became pregnant.
Whether the reasons are good or not is up to you, but they certainly are there. The Jewish view, as I understand it, includes the following ideas, among others:
In Judaism, procreation is not the only legitimate reason for sexual activity. An equally compelling reason for sexual activity is that it tends to strengthen the bond betwen husband and wife. In fact, if conditions are such that sexual activity might weaken their bond (for example, if one is angry at the other) then relations are prohibited.
This is important for the family unit, to help insure a stable family in which to raise the children. And these values hold true even for a childless couple, for they still constitute a family, and a stable family will contribute to a stable community.
Extramarital sex, and even premarital sex, will tend to destabilize the couple’s bond. It is possible to forget former partners, but it’s not easy. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion, difficult to fight against. I admit that I am speaking in generalities, but I believe that these generalities are true in the majority of cases. There are indeed exceptions, but in the Jewish view, the stability of the family is so very important that we cannot afford to take risks.
I hope that I’ve been clear, and that I’ve avoided the “circular logic” that you don’t want to hear. If not, please let me know.
That’s true, Pluto. Then again, they’re the only religion that gives you an abacus at your wedding just so you can keep TRACK of the wives
<Disclaimer> The previous paragraph was said as parody only. It was not meant to insult, denigrate or offend any member of said above religious group. <Disclaimer>
