I have a friend who answers her cell phone every time it rings. Whether we are on a loud bus, or shopping, or having dinner at a nice quiet restaurant, she never fails to answer when it rings. For the most part, it doesn’t bother me, because I answer my own cell phone too when it rings, although it doesn’t ring as often as hers. I’m less popular, I guess. Anyway, a lot of these calls aren’t really important. Once in a while, someone from work calls for a clarification on how to do something on a project she’s currently working on, otherwise it’s just friends or family calling to chat.
It does, however, bother me when she answers her cellphone when we are in the middle of dinner, or even just a conversation to chat with someone else for anywhere between five minutes to half an hour. I’ve told her before “Hey, look, it’s really rude to have a conversation on your cell phone when you are hanging out with me. I understand when it’s work related, but when you are just casually chatting, can’t you wait until we stop hanging out?” She apologizes, but then the next time the phone rings, she answers it again! I should point out that when she apologizes, I don’t think she’s apologizing for her actions, but merely saying that she is sorry that I feel inconvenienced by her chatting. I suppose we just disagree with what proper cell phone ettiquette is.
I’ve seen many people on this board rant about people being rude while they are on their cell phone. Like people who don’t acknowledge customer service people while they are making their purchase because they are yapping away. So, two parts:
Is my friend being rude when she answers and chats away no matter what situation we are in, or should I just deal with the fact that we are in an age of “cell phones” where people can be reached anywhere anytime?
What other cell phone things do other people do that is rude but deemed acceptable by most cell phone uses anyway?
Two days ago I was riding the bus to school. I had to sit near the back, since I had my puppy and its easier to go out the back door for him. The girl next to me sounded like she was trying to make an appointment at the doctor or the health center. I specifically remember one sentence.
“Yes. I’m on oxyprogesterone*… right, for my menstrual cycle…” She just kept going on and giving her entire medical history… ON THE BUS!! WHERE EVERYONE CAN HEAR HER! Needless to say, that was more about a stranger than I wanted to know. Rude? Perhaps not. Awkward? Oh yeah.
*could be wrong, but I specifically remember hearing progesterone with some prefix on it.
Not rude, but foolish. I was on BART one day when the guy across from me started… doing phone banking, I guess. I wasn’t paying too much attention, but I noticed something like an account number, so I started writing things down. By the time he was done I had his address, SSN, and mother’s maiden name.
The look on his face when I handed the note-sheet over to him was priceless.
In my opinion, this is just as rude as if you were talking and someone came over, started talking to her, and both of them ignored you. If someone did this to me as you describe, I’d probably just leave. It doesn’t sound as if you rate very high on her list of priorities. In fact, if you want to talk to her, maybe you should just call her cell??
I had a temp once who literally talked non-stop on her cell for over four freaking hours one afternoon. If I gave her something to do, she told the person to hold on. She stayed on the phone while answering our office phone.
And that was the last afternoon she ever worked here.
Some of this isn’t cell phone rudeness. It’s just plain telephone rudeness. If my daughter calls while we’re watching a movie, my wife will pause the movie and chat with our daughter for 10 or 20 minutes while I stare at the screen and wait (yes, I’ve learned to go do something else). Ditto if she calls during dinner.
That is really rude! The only person I do this with is my 90 year old grandmother and Suburban Plankton understands. She’s old and would get really upset if she thought she had interrupted dinner. Anyone else gets told we’ll call them back.
She is being rude. Like others have said, it’s like her ignoring you to talk at length with another friend who stopped by your table (with you being omitted from the conversation). In my world, people who are face-to-face with me take precedence over people who are on the phone.
Talking loudly and about private things in public, especially in quiet places like movies and libraries.
Some über bejeweled, lizard skinned woman with a Borg phone shoved a paper in my face with a barely legible [incorrect] book title for me to find. After searching the computer and not finding it, we had this exchange:
Me: “pardon me…” [waiting a second for her to look at me] “I can’t find the title in our system. Do you know the author’s name, by any chance?”
Her: [steamed] shakes her head, tosses me a :rolleyes: and bellows into her phone “she’s wasting my time, here.” Then stalks away.
A co-worker caught another snatch of conversation as she was leaving the store: “Pretty? Whadaya mean pretty? She’s a mudhen!”
Rude #1: having extended phone conversations while she’s agreed to be socializing with you. A quick “hang on, let me check the number to see if it’s my babysitter or intern” or an honestly 30 second convo to tell the partner where the file for the McDermott account is is not rude. But beyond that is rude.
Rude #2: apologizing for something she’s not actually sorry for.
Rude #3: continuing the behavior and continuing to hang out with you while she’s doing it. If you’ve told her it bugs you, she’s indicated that she understands it bugs you, and she keeps on doing it? That’s rude on top of the original rudeness. I mean, if my wearing green honestly bugged my friend and she told me that, it would be rude for me to wear green again when we next hang out. It’s rude to not make small concessions to make my friends more comfortable, even if I don’t agree that the offense is really offensive. Even if she doesn’t think her behavior is rude, you do, and she knows it, so to keep on doing it is rude - she should hang it up when hanging out with you if no other time. (I don’t know if this makes sense in writing, but it does in my head.)
I think it’s equally rude not to answer the phone but let it ring , ring , ring until it goes to voice mail. I am not a violent person , but that crap puts me to the test every time it happens :mad:
I have yet to handle a cellphone that does not have a quick-function (say, extended pressing of the ‘#’ button) that will send the phone into either vibrate or silent mode within 2 seconds flat of deteriming I don’t want to answer the phone right now. Not to mention that if I probably won’t be answering the phone short of the Pope or one of my kids calling, it’s already on vibrate – no more incessant ringing! People just need otlearn how to use their phones.
As to the OP, yes, extremely rude. Another rude thing people at my workplace do all the time is leave their phones, turned on, at their workstation while they go someplace. So what if it rings all over the place? It isn’t bothering them! :rolleyes:
Next time you’re out and your friend does this, just get up and leave. Don’t leave any money either. Just leave her sitting alone with her cellphone and the check.
She’ll either learn to be more considerate, or you’ll lose someone who doesn’t sound like much of a friend anyway.
Tomorrow’s Boston Globe Magazine section has a mini-item about a woman trying to read a book while commuting who got annoyed by the guy sitting next to her talking loudly into his cell phone at length. She started reading her book out loud and after a while the cell phoner got the message and hung up.
If it happens again, get your friend’s attention and say “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your phone call, we can talk later.” and then leave. It gets the point across.
It would have been worth it. And if it got to court, no jury in the land would have convicted him (provided they took time off from talking on their cellphones to listen to the defense counsel…).
