Chappelle Show Appreciation

Cafe Society
1

Since Comedy Central is having a marathon Saturday of Chappelle’s Show and the current contract wrangling between Comedy Central and Dave threaten future seasons, let’s show our appreciation! What are your favorite skits, quotes, and characters? Surprise Chappelle stories?

Skits

  1. Wayne Brady
  2. Black Bush
  3. The Niggars
  4. Race Draft

Quotes

  1. "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch? "
  2. “Bush 2004. Mars Bitches.”
  3. Q: Negrodamus, why is President Bush convinced there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
    Negrodamus: Because he has the receipt.

So damn many…

Characters

  1. Tyrone Biggums
  2. L’il Jon
  3. Negrodamus

Story
There’s this one guy in my grad program who I regularly debate politics with. He’s a right wing conservative, I’m not. A week ago, we both found out that we’re Chappelle fans and spent a half hour howling over trading quotes. See? Chappelle brings people together.

2

“White people love Wayne Brady; because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X.”

Honorable mention: The World Series of Dice

3

Both the Sam Jackson beer skit and the Real World skit are enough to make me start laughing even now…

4

I’m still laughing at the R Kelly I Wanna Piss On You Remix
Lemme get that poo poo!
Lemme get that pee pee!
Favorite skits:
I’m Rick James, bitch!
The black supremist

Favorite quotes:
Negrodamus, will Arsenio Hall ever have another show?
Yes. It will be called Good Morning Black America. It will start at noon.
Black people can’t have nothing nice. Once we get something nice, the white people claim it. Don’t laugh at my jokes! The white people will claim me too.
Mr. Mooney (I can’t for the life of me remember his first name now) does not get as much love as he deserves.
Of course there is the all time, fall down on the floor laughing quote: What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!

I can’t stop with the quotes: Shoot the J! SHOOT IT!

5

The guy’s name is Paul Mooney, Biggirl. I thought he was funny, too, until I went and saw one of his live shows down here at the Improv. Basically, what he’s said on TV is his entire stand up act. A serious disappointment after the first hour and I’ve already heard all of his punch lines.

He’s also very repetitive. That whole “White people don’t want black people to have too much fun, just a little bit of fun” was the central piece to one of his bits. And by central piece, I mean he sat and repeated “Can’t let us have too much nigger fun” over and over for ten minutes. I shit you not.

But he’s at his best in the small pieces on Chappelle’s Show. He’s had some great lines there.

6

I haven’t seen too many episodes yet, so I have the VCR ready for Saturday’s marathon with great anticipation. But the Rick James episode cracks me up just thinking about it, as does “A Day In the Life of Li’l Jon.”

WWWWWWHAT?
OKAYYYYYYYY!
YEEEEAAAAAAHHH!

I can’t wait to finally see the infamous Wayne Brady sketch!

7

I love Chappelle’s Show. The minute the second season is released on DVD, it’s mine!

I’ve never liked Paul Mooney. I only laughed at just a few of his bits on the show. His stand up routines are way to racial and, as if that wasn’t enough, they’re not even funny. Unless you’re angry at white people Then I guess they’re a riot.

Favorite Quotes from the Second Season

Assemble your crew.

That nigga says nigga lot.

Nicole Simpson can’t rap!

Don’t drop that shit here. I pray to god you don’t drop that shit here.

…special CIA napkin.

Do I need to tell you what the fuck you can do with an aluminum tube?

Give me your sandwich. I said give me your sandwich.

Aw, shit! It’s Wayne Brady, son!

Damn! This some good-ass cheese!

How you gonna rip it like this, son? How you gonna rip it like that, son?

We playin’ on the moon, bitch. Don’t call here no more. Peace!

I know how you Niggars are about payin’ your bills.

This racism is killin’ me inside.

I think I’m bleedin’ inside my chest.

…and I said, look, bitch, I’m Rick James.

A mouth’s a mouth.

I think I watch the show too much…

8

“I’m Rick James, Bitch!”

“Bitch, get over here and have sex with Charlie Murphey.”

“Of course I got a Playstation 2! I’m rich!”

“You may say: ‘Why would you treat your customers that way?’ Why?! Fuck 'em!”

Oh jeeze…I’m trying not to laugh so hard my ears are gonna bleed…

9

That’s a great show, and if I had to pick one skit that I love more than the rest it would be the “Mad Real World.” Other great ones are the Charlie Murphy True Hollywood stories.

10

Never did see Mooney’s stand up. Ah well.

More quotes!

Game: blouses.

It’s not HBO. It’s regular ass TV.

SAMUEL JACKSON! IT’LL GET YOU DRUNK! YOU’LL BE FUCKIN’ FAT GIRLS IN NO TIME! YOU MIGHT EVEN FIGHT A NIGGA OR TWO!
It’s Dave’s show. Don’t bring the kids!

11

“Mmmmm mmm, bitch!”

“Man, Lincoln is fckin’ up."
"All white folks is fckin’ up. Shh, here dey come.”

12

A couple of questions:

Will the Sat. marathon include first season eps, or just this season?

Are the DVDs “uncensored” (language, nudity, etc.), or are they just like the show?

13

On the second question, no censoring language and no pixelation of the naughty bits.

14

The Wayne Brady one was the best.

“Ho’s, Dave… Dave, ho’s.” “Hi, bitches.”

15

The racial draft was great.

“The asians have claimed the Wu Tang Clan!”

16

“You need some lotion and some trousers”

17

Picking the best lines and skits from Chappelle’s Show is like asking someone to pick your favorite color painted on the Mona Lisa. Although the palette of colors used is unique, they all come together to create a masterpiece. Every show is THAT good.

18

I’m having too much fun with this L’il Jon board:

http://www.uvmdudeman.com/liljon.htm

Enjoy, bitches.

19

What was bizarre to me: I’m a chubby white academic but for some reason Dave Chappelle, a hip young black comic, both obsessed on the same line. When the movie A Time to Kill came out, the commercial that was on the air 423 times a day featured Sam Jackson on the witness stand saying “YEAH I’M GLAD THEY DEAD! I HOPE THEY BURN HE-E-ELL!” and that became my catchprhase for months (“Hey, did you make the car payment?” Me:“Yeah I made the car payment… I hope they burn in HEEEELLL!”) until friends started making death threats.
Then years pass and I see the same line parodied at least three times just on the Chapelles I’ve seen (Sam Jackson beer, Sam Jackson interview, and Sam Jackson as Mace Wandu talking about the Jedi sex scandals, speaking of…

Yoda: Big titties that bitch had!

20

Well, I watched and taped all eight episodes on Saturday night, but they didn’t show the Rick James or Prince episodes! Whyyyyyyyy? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?