Sitting there, Monday morning, in your pathetic little cubicle, trying to wake up with a cup of coffeelattechino while desperately clinging to the weekend that just slipped away from you, I, Shirley Ujest, offer you this mental happy place to slip merrily into to help ease your transition into the cold cruel world.
What characters would you boink in a heart beat and a brief reason of why you’d lift your skirt/drop your pants.
In random order:
1.** Martin Riggs, Lethal Weapon **( Mel Gibson): man on the edge, nearly certifiably crazy, great hair, that voice and naturally, that ohh laa laa body. You’d just know it would be frantic and sweaty. Added cheese factor: in a trailer on the beach.)
Desperado, in the movie with the same name(Antonio Banderas) Intense, yet playful with a whole lot of candles burning. Bonus round would be the guitar music playing the background.
**Ethan Hawke, Mission Impossible 1 or 2 ** (Tom Cruise): Something about this nearly three dimensional(but not quite)character who travels the world bunjee jumping just appeals to me. Maybe it was the last line in MI:2, " Let’s go someplace and disappear." (Bonus round, all the high tech equipment. He could get my VCR to stop flashing 12.)
4.**I forget his name, Shag, ** (Can’t recall the actors name): He plays oppposite of either Phoebe Cates or Bridget Fonda. he was a sweet potato.
5.**Rob Roy ** Rob Roy (Liam Neeson): Tall, great accent, great with his sword, heh. Knows how to treat the ladies, baths regularly ( not common in that time period) and has all his own teeth. A man’s man. Bonus round: The Kilt.
**Jake ** Silverado. (Kevin Costner): Fun, exuberant, has his own horse. Can twirl guns and you know what they say about a man who is good with his guns. Total charmer. In a heartbeat [growl]
7.**Jake’s brother, Silverado, (Scott Glenn): Craggy features, heart of gold, just trying to make it to Silverado. Also good with this guns (must be a family trait.) I’d give a million bucks to see him smile…all those lines.
**Michael Corleone **Godfather: I’d help him forget about that bitch of a wife. Just a weekend in Reno, after he offs Fredo, that’s all I need. I wouldn’t tells no one.
**Bully Hayes **, Nate & Hayes (Tommy Lee Jones): Heart of gold, remorseful puppy dog brown eyes, nice body, has his own boat (the Rona) and that voice. Bonus factor, he’s a pirate.
That is all I have now, the coffee hasn’t started to kick in.
I’ve said it before (several times), but it bears repeating: Paul Newman in his 30s was the pinnacle of male evolution. If you don’t believe me, rent The Long, Hot Summer. The most gorgeous man ever.
The original Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
The show is decent, Sarah Michelle Geller is hot, but next to Kristy Swanson, she’s nothing, ya hear me? NOTHING!!!
Carolina (Desperado - Salma Hayek).
Enough said.
The Princess of Wales (Braveheart - Sophie Marceau).
ditto.
Henry, in Henry V. Kenneth Branagh at his most charming. The scene where he flirts with his new French bride (Emma Thompson) gets me every time. <swoon>
Vladmir Ivanoff, in Moscow on the Hudson. Lighweight movie, but Robin Williams is absolutely adorable in it.
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