It would have to be a tastefully-appointed bazooka, wielded by only the most eminent artillerist…
All of the main characters in Fear of the Walking Dead. They are all too stupid to have survived the first day so I’d just be bringing the universe back into order. Especially Madison.
Peggy Hill
Willie Scott from*** Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.***
Jeez, Indi - I don’t care if she’s rooting the Director, just find a bloody pool of crocodiles and push her in.
My pillows are reserved for all the annoyingly know-it-all “I’m a sicentist and I have no feelings, only facts” characters.
- Sheldon Cooper
- Dr. House
- Bones
- Gil Grissom
- Spencer Reid (Triple pillow)
- All the Scorpion team
madsircool wrote, regarding Flo “I’d rather just pillow her.”
If that’s a euphemism for sex, yeah, I concur.
The old man pedophile from Family Guy. Cripes, let it go.
Hermione, I just felt the need to jump in here and support your awesome defense of Melanie Wilkes. You’re not alone!
Melanie was the bomb! That woman was strong as an oak and kind at the same time. And she had her flaws, too, to make her likeable–her inability to see how she and Ashley were sponging off of Scarlett, her blindness to faults in those she loved, especially Ashley (although that could be argued as a strength), and I guess the aforementioned “pickaninnies” remark (but can we really judge her for that considering her place and time in history? Debate for another thread, I suppose).
When I think of Melanie, I always remember the scene in the book when the Yankees come back to Tara for second time and set the kitchen on fire. Scarlett is alone, having sent everyone off to hide in the woods or wherever (it’s been a few years, sorry…), so she’s in there fighting the fire all on her own. Until Melanie shows up. Melanie is the only one of the bunch to come back to help. She fights that fire side by side with Scarlett, then saves Scarlett’s life when her hair catches, then drags her unconscious body to safety in the back yard. All of this despite supposedly being so weak and frail.
She had nerves of steel and a heart of gold. I think people’s perception of her is colored by Scarlett’s unreliable narrator contempt for her. They should have listened to Rhett…Rhett knew what was up.
Anyway, didn’t want you to feel alone in your defense of her. 
And the kid, too!
Miss Havisham. Just put the old biddy out of our literary misery.
StG
Margaret Johnson (Alison Pill) from Newsroom. Supposed to be an intelligent and talented up and comer, but is actually a whiny twit. I would sooooooo smother her.