Chavez and Bush... who's lying?

At first glance this may seem more a GD. But it does have a factual answer, and I’m hoping to avoid debate on who’s right and who’s wrong. The AP reported that the Bush campaign asked Chavez to withdraw her nomination. She stated that she went to them. Which is it?

These kinds of things are usually orchestrated so that both sides can be plausibly be said to be telling the truth.

In this case, a mid-level Bush functionary would talk to one of Chavez’ people and say something like, “Well, the going is tough right now, but we’ll support you if you really want to persue this to the end.”

Chavez would know what that meant and make a decision accordingly.

So now Bush can say truthfully that he offered his support, and Chavez can claim truthfully that she decided on her own to withdraw her name from contention.

I believe they are both lying. She couldn’t pass close scrutiny and knew it. Bush realized she would be a liability and that the jig was up.

I’m sorry to see Linda Chavez go, but it was probably inevitable. She can go have a few drinks with Zoe Baird and Kimba Wood, and ponder what might have been.

THe winner in all this? John Ashcroft, of course. The Democrats were pissed off about an election they feel certain they deserved to win, and were determined to make George W. pay SOME price, a small one, by knocking off one of his hominees.

The Democrats have their pound of flesh now, and are content. They will now let John Ashcroft slide.

You must first define “truth” here in Washington, DC. I believe that Dante once took a tour of DC… it is surrounded by a circle, you know.

Say I resign my job at a lobbying firm here and you are an investigative reporter trying to find out what happened.

Were I a big fish, it would go like this: my people would say that I felt the need to resign because my goals had changed, and I no longer felt that the firm backed my vision for the future.

They would say that I downloaded 75 megs of Internet porn, and that they no longer felt that the firm backed my vision for the future, which involves damp towels in my office.

My people would immediately counter that due to a constrained budget, I also oversaw the IT department, which runs the server, and while it was discovered that pornography existed on one of the machines I was responsible for, it can also be shown that fully all of it was directed to the Jaz drive on the Director’s computer.

That’s because it’s the only Jaz drive in the office. And you had access to it.

Only because the Director was out of the office thirty hours a week, having three-martini lunches with his gambling buddies and having scandalous “meetings” at the Hotel Washington with that trollop from the Department of Energy–who screwed the entire Committee to get the job, mind you. Wanna talk about that?

Sure. Let’s talk about that, and the fact that she publicly rejected your drunk ass at the last Christmas party, loser! And then, when she screwed you anyway, partly out of pity and partly 'cause that dude from Justice gave her a lipstick video camera so they could watch it together later, all she could talk about was how someone with such a small wanker could be so premature.

Oh, yeah, hag? I’m not the one who’s seaching the obituaries for former Washington Senators–I mean the f***ing baseball team–so that you can dip in on their inheritances as the long lost mother their heirs never knew!

Yeah? Well, I’m not the one who went on a “sailing trip” with Delegate Rollomasirus to American Samoa in a merchant ship that blew up off of Tahiti with five hundred thousand dollars of illegal munitions aboard. And just exactly was that “personal operation” the good delegate needed after the explosion? I like your new dentures.

All right, you old warhorse. I resign because my future goals no longer coincide with the vision of the firm.

I concur.

Everything else is off the record, oldscratch. Jamaal and Erik will now see you home. Discretion, my friend, is key in this matter. Will you be going straight to Raoul’s hideaway in DuPont? I love what he did with the walpaper, especially behind the bed. Have you seen those pictures? Perhaps you will. Nighty night!